Tag Archives: questions

Demystifying Figure Skating

When I was five years old I became obsessed with figure skating. Not just mesmerized or fascinated, but outright obsessed. I watched it every chance I got on television and imagined throwing myself into the air to spin like the skaters I idolized. I even used my slippers to glide across the kitchen floor, pretending I was skating on ice.

My parents were pretty entertained by this and when my obsession didn’t go away after a few weeks, they enrolled me in skating classes at the local ice rink. I’m pretty sure they thought I’d get bored with it and move on after a few sessions. But instead I turned out to be an avid skater, rarely ever falling, and skipping right past the tots intro class that required you to wear a helmet and skate with an orange safety cone.

For the next few years I skated every winter (it was a seasonal rink) and did fairly well, that is until I hit the moves that required me to have a fair amount of (read: any) coordination.

I skated on and off until I was twelve, when a not-so-great injury made me realize that I was not built to throw myself into the air and never would be. I moved on to other interests but I still hold a love for the sport that captured my attention when I was little.

So to help those who are new to this wonderful sport (yes, it’s a sport, don’t you dare argue with me), here are a few keys elements you’ll be looking at when watching the skating unfold.

1) Jumps

Ah, yes, throwing yourself blindly into the air and then landing on a thin piece of metal on a slippery surface. No big deal, right? There are six types of jumps – the toe loop, the Lutz, the flip, the Salchow the loop, and the Axel – often in double and triple form (if not quads, which is INSANE) because that’s how many rotations they have to get through in the air before landing. To get an idea of what these look like and for more detail on what each of them are, check out this awesome article from The Wire with gifs of each of them. They then have to land on the appropriate edge of their skate (inside or outside, depending on which way they’re going) and they better not even dare to land on two feet or man are they screwed in points.

2) Spins

There are a six core spins you will see and hear about in the Olympics, all of which require so much speed that many of the skaters become blurs before your eyes –  the scratch, the flying, the sit, the Biellmann, the layback (my favorite), and the camel. Check out this handy guide, with GIFs, that compliments The Wire’s article. All of these require a solid center, much flexibility, and an enormous amount of power and core strength to keep the speed up. These spins often have variations as well – like switching feet, picking up speed mid-spin, and even occasionally combining spins – in order to get more points for difficulty. On top of it, they are seen as more artistic than jumps, and therefore must be graceful in order to also be seen as effective. It’s no easy task.

3) All those other random moves they do

A lot of other moves are seen more for artistic movement. Some don’t have official names, and most of that is dance-like stuff, but there are a few I can quickly introduce you to.

Spiral – nonsensically, this is the move where the skater puts her leg high into the air behind her (or sometimes in front of her if she’s a pretzel) and glides. It’s actually a lot easier than it looks (didn’t think I’d say that, eh?) but requires massive amounts of flexibility and balance.

Lunge – this is exactly as it sounds. The skater puts his leg down onto the ice and drags it behind him, usually for just a second or two because it will slow him down. This requires a strong center of gravity, let me tell you, or you’ll end up in the most uncomfortable half-split of your life. I may or may not be speaking from experience.

Crossovers – oh, these things suck. These things are what did me in early in my years of lessons because I was so clumsy. The concept is that you cross one foot over the other, either forwards or backwards, and it helps you gain speed—plus it looks nice. They do these constantly while skating. Look for them next time you watch and you won’t be able to un-see them again.

There you go – your basics to the language of figure skating. If you’re still hungry for more terminology, check out the United States Figure Skating Association’s glossary of terms – it’s comprehensive and very useful. Now go pop some popcorn and settle into your couch while you watch these skaters fling themselves into the air, spin at high speeds and generally do things that seem unsafe for the population at large. And then watch them cry as they get their scores. It’s the next great American pastime – only with ice, blades, and absolutely no padding, because padding is for amateurs.

Photo by Sara Slattery

Photo by Sara Slattery

What is Happiness?

“Happiness is some cryptic shit. It’s a chimera. A faceshifting freak in a room of mirrors. It’s wonderful and horrible. It helps us and it hurts us. It hamstrings us and elevates us. It’s a pit and it’s a ladder. It — and its many forms, be they satisfaction or pleasure or bliss — is a thing so intensely personal it’s impossible to let anyone else tell us how to get it, keep it, or use it. I think it’s worth asking yourself, how will I be happy? It’s worth trying to find the path to satisfaction. And I don’t think that path is drawn through careful study or through mathematical findings. You don’t get happy through a pro/con list. (Unless you do? See? So personal.) It’s in your gut. It’s a feeling, an instinct, and maybe at the end of the day the shortest path to unhappiness is to ignore yourself and all the inner voices that are screaming for you to go left, go left, for fuck’s sakes go left and all you do is go right. Go with your gut. Follow your bliss. Give to others without taking. Be you. Be the best version of you. And share it with the world. Then again, what the fuck do I know? ” — Chuck Wendig, “25 Things I’m Wondering About Happiness”

Here at UE, we are not trying to give you the answers. We are trying to share the options. These weekly We Don’t Know posts are designed to focus on questions where the only answer is your answer.

Today, we feature a post by author and blogger Chuck Wendig from his website Terrible Minds. When we were sent this post, it immediately struck us how Chuck’s musings on happiness embody so much of what we try to accomplish through our UE community.

At the beginning of his post, Chuck describes his ability to be an “expert” on happiness as follows:

“So, here I am. A clueless, inexpert, inelegant dude. Trying to figure shit out. Like, even now, I don’t know that I agree with half of what I’ve written here. And tomorrow I won’t agree with the other half. But it feels like it’s worth talking about anyway.”

That’s pretty much how we feel about everything we post on UE, just as our mission statement says: You don’t know everything. Neither do we.

To give you a taste of Chuck’s first four “wonderings” on happiness:

1. “Nobody knows what the fuck it is.”

2. “Nobody knows what the fuck it does.”

3. “Happiness is a choice.”

4. “Except when it’s totally not a choice.”

…You get the idea. Go read it for yourself and tell us what you think about happiness in the comments.

Photo by Sara Slattery

Photo by Sara Slattery

Let’s Ask: Friendships After Marriage

Lily and Heather, two 25-year-old UE writers who’ve known each other since 2007, sat down over Skype recently to discuss how their friendship has changed since Lily got married two years ago. With things like #myfriendsaremarried and the overwhelming number of ring photos on Facebook (and the terrible commercials that accompany them), we wanted to have some real talk about what marriage and friendship have been like for us.

Lily: Let’s start by talking about how we met.

Heather: Sounds good. We worked together as Resident Advisors in college, and met in the training class we had to take the year before we started the job. Remember what that was like?

Lily: Haha, yeah! I would whisper something in your ear and you would raise your hand and say ‘Lily has something to add!’ because I was too shy to speak up. I was mortified, but it was so helpful! How would you describe our early friendship?

Heather: So much of it was spent in dorm rooms, going on dining hall trips, venting about residents, taking trips to beach, going on long walks through the forest, hanging out making flyers and posters and getting super dizzy from the paint fumes. We spent a huge amount of time together—sort of attached at the hip—and our lives were similar enough that people would call us by each other’s names. When did things start changing?

Role Shifts

Lily and Heather in the event center at Stevenson College, UCSC, after a long day at work.

Lily and Heather in the event center at Stevenson College, UCSC, after a long day at work.

Lily: Things started to change after I graduated a year early from college in 2009. I was working semi-full time in a terrible job at a craft store and navigating post-college life. You were finishing your thesis, transitioning back to American life after a summer in Uganda. We started having different time constraints and different worries.

Heather: I was still more or less in the college mode. I had a job, but school was definitely my priority. We also weren’t living in the same place anymore. You were living with a bunch of people who liked to party; I was living by myself. I felt like we really drifted apart during that time. But we got closer after my graduation in 2010 because then we were both figuring out post-college life, and we were both in relationships. We had more in common again and we could talk about the changes happening in our lives. On the other hand, though, you had just gotten engaged and were now locked into this decision that this one person was good for you. You had made a choice about being with someone forever, and could feel confident about it, which was different from where I was in my relationship.

Lily: I definitely had more security, but I also really wanted to validate my decision. I started getting really sensitive about it, partly because I was one of the first of my friends to get engaged and always got questions about it. I was totally wrapped up in negotiating this new, private thing—being engaged—and didn’t want judgment on top of that. So I started shutting people out, because I didn’t know what would feel threatening to my relationship with Robert. My partnership became way more a reflection of my character than it ever had been before. Suddenly, if I was having a hard time with Robert, it was because I had made the worst decision of my life. It was definitely a lot to handle, so even though we had all this new common ground and you were supportive, I was distancing myself from friends in general.

Heather: Oof, yeah. And meanwhile, I was kind of on the outside of this, not knowing what had happened to change our close friendship.

Unexpected Distance

Lily’s beautiful wedding on the coast of Central California.

Lily’s beautiful wedding on the coast of Central California.

Lily: What was that like for you? Did you feel shut out?

Heather: Yeah, actually. It was interesting because I didn’t feel the distance during your engagement. I felt l

ike I was able to support you. Since I was in your wedding party, we would talk regularly about wedding planning stuff, and then it felt natural to catch up on each other’s personal lives.  Part of what blindsided me was that you were so nervous at the wedding itself that you ended up being completely closed off. I had a hard time not taking that personally, even though I knew that your nerves had nothing to do with me. After the wedding, you drove off with your new husband and we really didn’t talk very much for months. I don’t remember exactly how long, but felt like a long time because it was so abrupt. I felt pretty rejected, but had no idea what to do about it—your life had just changed a lot, and I wanted to give you and Robert space to get settled. What was your experience, on the other end of being engaged and married?

Lily: Honestly, I feel selfish answering this because I was so wrapped up in everything going on with me. I had to figure out how my identity had changed: everything from sharing chores to how to deal with in-laws to my stupid signature because I changed my name. So much was shifting that I was totally self-absorbed. I knew on some level that I should do something for our friendship, but it was a challenge. I was figuring out how to protect and respect my partner in our conversations—like, is it okay for Heather to know this about Robert? On top of that, friends suddenly seemed to assume that I was an expert on relationships and love, just because I was married. It was so hard. I felt like a self-centered ball of emotions trying to untangle everything. This was pretty much all internal for me, whereas it seems like your experience felt out of your control.

Heather: Yeah, I didn’t feel like there was anything I could do about it, besides be patient and let you be the one to initiate a closer friendship if and when you wanted to. I thought maybe we just wouldn’t be close again, for whatever reason, and tried to accept that. But we slowly started talking more often, and it seemed like the more we talked, the more comfortable you got with this new phase of our friendship.

Dealing with New Boundaries

Lily: Totally, because the other aspect was this long process of finding boundaries with you, sometimes even explicitly, in conversations. I’ll say things like “Is it okay that I’m telling you this, Heather?” because I didn’t know where to draw the line with what’s TMI about my marriage. You’ve been really careful to make it clear that you can’t speak to my experience and want to be here for me, no judgment, and that you’ll never give ultimatums or resent my partner. It’s made me feel really safe to share my thoughts and feelings with you—we have our friendship, but Robert is neither ignored nor the sole focus. It’s been a crazy balance to hit: one that I can’t find with all other friends.

Heather: Trying to hit that balance has been pretty intentional on my part, but it just makes sense because I really don’t know what it’s like to be married. If I keep that in mind, then there’s no way I could make judgments. All I do know is that I want to support you, which means supporting Robert too, because you are deciding to be with him.

Lily: Is there anything I’ve done to make this process easier for you?

Heather: You were really open about the planning, stresses, and expectations you were facing with the wedding, which made a big difference. I got to be involved and supportive during that part of your transition into marriage, which felt good. And I actually feel more prepared for other close friends who are getting married, as far as being able to be a good friend to them. I am more aware of what could come up or what to expect. You also have been nothing but kind: there may have been distance between us at times, and talking felt a little rusty at first, but I always felt like you appreciated me. It was confusing, but did make things easier on my end.

Making This Work

Just a couple of friends, paddling through the waves of life.

Just a couple of friends, paddling through the waves of life.

Lily: You definitely support and respect the boundaries that I set up with regards to what I feel comfortable sharing and what is a little too intimate, because you have such a strong commitment to be friends.  D’aww!

Heather: I think it worked out between us because we were flexible: neither of us stayed stuck in the separate values we originally had about marriage. Otherwise, we would have been talking at each other the entire time and couldn’t have maintained a friendship. Even though we do come from pretty different ideological places about marriage, considering our history and parents and religion, we listened to each other carefully and with heart. We were able to let go of some of our assumptions, and we’re doing pretty well, two years out.

Lily: I’d have to agree. Love you, Heather.

Heather: Love you, Lily!

P.S. We’re not the first ones to write about this. Here’s a whole mess of friendship-and-marriage-themed posts, because, well, every friendship is different.

Heather Griffith is a grad student who loves writing about sustainability, justice, food, nature, and science. She is also a rabid reader, incessant cook, and barefoot enthusiast. Read more of her reflections at TO LIVE FOR LOVE.

Lily Henderson is a heart to heart professional. Mentor to college students. Loves language, personality theory, glitter, and any cocktail with champagne.

Photo by Sara Slattery