Tag Archives: Islam

Finding Islam

My journey was long and winding.  I’m not an outwardly religious person, and I normally don’t volunteer my religious views.  Muslims aren’t popular in the United States, and revealing that you’re Muslim can sometimes be a dangerous proposition.

I feel compelled here, however, to speak candidly about my journey.  It’s a la mode these days to bash Islam, stereotype and pidgeonhole and caricature Islam.  I hope my story can cast a different shade on the conversation and reveal that Islam is a complex thing, and with over one billion adherents, is far from monolithic.

I wasn’t raised Muslim.  As a matter of fact, I’m the most religiously Muslim person in my family—my parents are basically cultural Muslims.  I was five years old and I asked my dad “Baba, what are we?” “Oh, we’re Muslim.”  And that was the extent of my religious instruction from my family. We ate pork; my mom enjoyed wine and beer; I openly and notoriously dated.

Islam was my choice.  I know what Islam is and what it represents might be different to someone who has it imposed on them.  Even filet mignon isn’t enjoyable when it’s shoved down your throat.

I was 19 and in a bad place.  Life changes, academic pressure, friction with my family, and ending my first relationship had me emotionally disoriented.  I noticed that my college had an Islamic studies class, and as a general history buff with law school aspirations, it seemed natural.

The Islam I learned about was leagues away from the Islam portrayed on television.  The only thing radical about Islam was how inclusive it was.  It accepted all adherents of the abrahamic religions.  Moses and Christ are both considered Prophets equally important to Mohammed—if Abrahamic monotheism was the Star Wars trilogy, Islam viewed itself as Return of the Jedi.

Women had extensive property rights. Considering that the Quran was written in the seventh century, this makes it a radical feminist text. Comparatively, the Vatican didn’t recognize that women even had souls until the fifth century.  Women in the United States were the property of men (father or husband) until the 1870s.  But to Muslims, God did not believe in race or nationalism.  All were equal before God.

Islam wasn’t afraid of science—it embraced it.  Islam prized education and literacy: God’s first miracle performed before the prophet Mohammed was to make him be able to read.

God was forgiving and merciful.  I was introduced to the idea of a being capable of knowing me so intimately, understanding my thoughts and motivations and intentions, and understanding my shortcomings.

The most important part to me was that there was no compulsion in faith.  You’re allowed to practice what you want, and set aside what rituals you don’t care for.  The idea is that those rules are for human benefit: God doesn’t need them, we do.  You aren’t a bad Muslim if you enjoy a beer or some wine, or even if you can’t resist some pepperoni pizza.

The thing that appealed to me was the contempt for hypocrisy.  Hypocrisy was my major beef with the loud practitioners of religion whom I encountered.  The gay-hating closeted gay pastor; the politician who goes to church on Sunday, meets his mistress Monday and divorces his cancer-striken wife on Wednesday; the moral majoritarian who frequents prostitutes; the list goes on.  In Islam, the worst thing you can be is a hypocrite.

It wasn’t all magical.  Like all religions, the adherents can be a problem.  I traveled to Iran to visit family.  While I was there, I’d hoped to get closer to Islam—after all, it is an “Islamic” republic.  I was wrong.  In short, I saw an almost part-for-part analogue of what was wrong with conservative reactionary Christian theology in the United States played out in Iran.  I saw hypocrisy.  I saw priests driving around in Mercedes when there were people starving in the street.  This wasn’t the Islam I learned about.  This wasn’t my Islam.

What I learned from that disappointment was that each person has to travel their own spiritual journey.  You can’t get a 1040EZ form for faith.  It isn’t something for the lazy.  It’s a long, rocky hike where you might stumble and fall and scrape yourself up.  You have to be willing to struggle.  Some folks don’t have the patience for it, and perhaps faith just isn’t for them. Not everyone likes pizza either.  It takes a particular type of person.  I got comfortable with an idea of what my Islam was.  My Islam was inclusive.  My Islam embraces all—and yes, that means LGBTs.  It wants to end poverty and hunger, illiteracy and ignorance.  It seeks peace in the human family.   It’s still a struggle from time to time.  I get so absorbed into the busyness of my life—law school, starting a nonprofit, getting scholarships and hustling money for fun—that I don’t set aside time to reflect on my life from the macro view.

I see my Islam in my American generation.  I see it in Mos Def and Brother Ali and Lupe Fiasco, in Dave Chappelle and Aasif Manvi and Rainn Wilson—an enlightened but idiosyncratic expression of the human condition: beautiful and chaotic and flawed, but always trying to be better and never losing hope.  I don’t eat pork, but I do drink.  I date women.  I am by no means a strictly adherent Muslim in any “conventional” sense. But I think convention is bullshit—it’s a euphemistic term for uncreative or lazy.

I’m Muslim.  I’m proud to be Muslim. But if I get to have kids, I will want them to choose their own path.  It’s only fair: that’s what I did.  I’m comfortable with the possibility that there is no god, no afterlife, none of the mysticism of religion; there are finer points I disagree with, even within the text of the Quran.  I don’t view faith as an all-or-nothing ultimatum.  . The totality of the philosophy speaks for itself.  As a Christian friend of mine once said, “Truth is truth.”   The truth to me is that the point of us being here is to love each other, comfort each other, and keep the other from suffering.  It’s okay that I falter or fail or have my moments of doubt and cynicism, and even disagreement with what may be considered ‘devout.’  Ultimately, the word “faith” means not knowing.

Photo by Sara Slattery

Photo by Sara Slattery

Leaving Islam

Growing up, religion was never something I questioned. When my mother told me I was Muslim, because she and my father were Muslim, I didn’t question it. I told everyone that I was Muslim without hesitation.  This usually meant the other kids thought I was the weird kid who couldn’t eat bacon. What being Muslim meant to me, however, was doing everything in my power to prevent going to hell. My parents very effectively and efficiently instilled the fear of God in me: I said a prayer before meals, after eating, every night before bed… I never dared to think of religion as a choice; it was simply what I was born into.

Then I hit high school and the angsty teenager in me started questioning my parents. I became that stereotypical punk kid with the stereotypical rebellious attitude. I disobeyed my parents, stayed out late, and listened to loud music about how The Man was keeping me down. My religion, however, was still unquestioned until senior year of high school and—like many life-changing stories—it involved a girl. I’d had a crush on this girl all year, and we had just started dating, I was excited to bring her home and introduce her to my family so one day after school I invited her over to play some video games in my room. About five minutes after we started playing Rock Band my mother called me into the living room and asked why there was a girl in my room. When I told her about my new girlfriend she was furious. While my girlfriend was waiting for me in my room my mother proceeded to shout at me in Arabic about how she had raised a sinner and how I was forsaking God.  I’d had a crush on this girl for the better part of a year because of what a genuinely good person she was and my mom completely denounced her without even meeting her. This was the first moment I started questioning my parents about religion. My whole life I had been told never to judge anyone and here she was shouting at me about my girlfriend’s terrible character based completely on her gender. It all seemed extremely hypocritical to me at the time and that made me reflect on all of the other ideas I’d been taught about religion.

I was conflicted for a couple of weeks. I didn’t understand how dating someone was such a crime against the creator of the entire universe. Then, after those weeks of thought, I decided that I was going to do something absolutely crazy. One day I went to school like I always did, but when lunch time rolled around, I walked to the cafeteria and ordered the one classic school lunch that I was never able to try: I ordered a slice of pepperoni pizza. In a single decisive moment, I took a bite into this pizza topped with sin and I waited for God to smite me.

But the smiting never happened. That was the day that I stopped being Muslim. It was the best pepperoni pizza that I have ever had.

I may have stopped being a Muslim that day, but my religious journey was far from an end. For a couple of years after that moment, I identified as an atheist with a staunch disbelief in God. I was basically a jerk to every religious person I met. I thought I had it all figured out. Of course I didn’t, and I still don’t, but that didn’t stop me from sitting on an anti-religious high horse. I still haven’t been able to tell my parents about my absence of religion.  But religion, or the lack of it, became a consuming part of my thought process—probably because I was still coping with an ingrained part of my life coming to an abrupt halt—and I, for some reason, decided I should tell everyone else what they should think.

Eventually, however, I grew out of that as well. I realized that I have no right to force my beliefs onto anyone the same way my parents did on me.

These days, I don’t even identify as an atheist. In fact, I don’t really identify as anything. I’ve had a long transformation on the path to my current (non)belief system, and my ideology will probably keep changing as that path continues. After 23 years of life, the only thing I’ve learned about religion is that I don’t know anything about it. For all I know Zeus and all of his godly acquaintances are sitting in Olympus and using the human race for their amusement.

The only thing of which I can be certain when it comes to religion is that I will never know anything, and at this moment, that feels kind of enlightening.

A Religions Overview

In A Religions Primer, I introduced the basic elements of religions and reasons you may or may not be interested in exploring particular faith practices. Below are some of the (still-very-general) specifics of Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, and Islam—the top four world religions by population.

Photo by Sara Slattery

As I write this, my heart is trembling a little bit. My personal faith practice is a huge part of who I am, and I have close friends for whom different beliefs play just as big a role in their lives. My goal here is to give a general overview of a few world religions, hopefully in a way that helps you learn more about a certain faith. But I am a student of religions, not an expert: if I at all misrepresent a part of your faith, please leave a comment below so that I can remedy the mistake. Rather than in-depth or comprehensive descriptions, consider the following as a springboard for you to continue your own education and exploration. In the interest of space, I won’t mention the many other smaller religions and faith practices out there.

Buddhism

Basic Ideas

Buddhism is based on the teachings of Siddhartha Gautama, who abandoned his wealthy life in order to seek enlightenment. He achieved enlightenment after meditating under the Bodhi tree for forty-nine days, after which he sought to share what he had learned so that others may be freed of life’s suffering. He advocated a balance called the Middle Way between self-indulgence and self-denial, and he delivered a set of teachings called the Dharma that reveal how to achieve freedom from suffering. They include the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path, among others. Buddhism teaches that there is rebirth after death, but not because our individual souls keep living; rather, we continue being reborn after we die until we attain enlightenment and freedom from suffering. BuddhaNet is a good next step if you want to keep digging deeper.

Weekly Practices

Following the Buddha’s Dharma is the place to start. Meditation is an important daily practice in Buddhism; in order to free yourself from suffering, you need to be aware of your own sources of suffering. The practice of mindfulness—being aware of yourself, your actions, and your motivations—permeates daily life for many Buddhists. Community service is also highly valued.

Faith Community

The Buddha Dharma Education Association has compiled a World Buddhist Directory of Buddhist centers and organizations around the world. You can narrow your search by continent, country, state, and type of Buddhist tradition, making it fairly easy to find Buddhist communities in your area.

Christianity

Basic Ideas

The foundation of all Christian denominations is the life and teachings of Jesus of Nazareth: raised as a Jew under the Roman Empire, Jesus was  the prophesied son of the monotheistic creator God, sent to redeem humankind. Jesus performed miracles of healing and gave many teachings, the basis of which form the Gospel books of the Bible. Jesus of Nazareth was sentenced to crucifixion for the crimes of claiming to be divine and creating political and cultural unrest. Christianity teaches that Jesus was resurrected three days after he was entombed, visited with his disciples and followers, and then ascended into heaven. The Gospel books and books written by early Christians form the New Testament, which in combination with the Jewish Tanakh, or Hebrew Bible, form the writings that inform Christian religious practices. One core belief is that humans are imperfect and need redemption to be worthy of an eternal afterlife in heaven. Jesus’s crucifixion is believed to be the sacrifice necessary to redeem humankind’s failures, so acceptance of him is seen as the way to baptism and redemption. Each Christian denomination interprets the Bible differently, and here is a chart that gives a sense of their main differences.

Weekly Practices

Most Christian practices revolve around a gathering or service on Sunday, often in a cathedral, church, or other designated meeting area. Services may include singing hymns or other songs of worship; a message delivered by the priest, pastor, or minister; and spoken or silent prayer, along with other rituals. Outside of the Sunday gathering, practices range from meeting in small groups for prayer and Biblical study to individual daily following of Christian principles.

Faith Community

Churches of many denominations are easily found throughout the United States.  If you’re not sure where to start, this directory has a fairly comprehensive list of churches by denomination, so you’ll be all set to explore.

Hinduism

Basic Ideas

Hinduism doesn’t have a particular founder, and its various forms may follow one deity, many deities, or the sacred nature within all of existence. The Vedas are a collection of scriptures that contain many of the beliefs that Hindus follow, though there are several other sacred texts as well. One core belief is that Truth is the one Reality, but this belief can be expressed in a variety of ways—Truth can be thought of as Brahman, the sacred nature that is all-inclusive, eternal, and that encompasses all existence in the universe. Gods and goddesses in Hindu traditions are considered expressions of Brahman, and a person’s soul in relation to Brahman is often described using the metaphor of a drop of water in the ocean. The dharma is what Hindus strive to achieve in their lives, and can be interpreted as morality, duty, or right conduct. (Sound familiar? Gautama Buddha was raised in a Hindu society, and his Dharma came out of his experiences with Hindu dharma.) Unlike Buddhism, Hinduism holds that our individual souls are immortal and are reincarnated into new bodies after we die. Karma, your actions in this life and all of your past lives, determine what kind of body your soul will inhabit in your next life. The ultimate goal is moksha: liberation of the soul from the cycle of life and death by realizing its true nature and uniting with Brahman.

Weekly Practices

Many Hindu practices include daily or weekly rituals centered around shrines with sculptures and images of deities in their own homes—these follow bhaktimarga, or the path of devotion. Other practices called jnanamarga, or the path of philosophy, don’t involve deities at all and instead focus on Brahman through meditation. A third branch of practices—karmamarga, the path of works and action—is based on fulfilling the social and moral roles specific to one’s lot in life. All three paths are equally valid. For more specific rituals and practices such as Ayurveda, different types of yoga, and the daily puja, here is a list to get you started.

Faith Community

Temples, ashrams (religious centers or monasteries), shakhas (Hindu theological schools), and Hindu cultural centers are good places to get plugged into communities of practicing Hindus. This comprehensive directory lists such places located in the United States.

Islam

Basic Ideas

Somewhat similar to Christianity, Islam is founded upon the belief that there is one all-knowing God (Allah) and one man (Muhammad) who was chosen to communicate divine truths to humankind. The central creed of Islam is called the Shahada: “There is no god but God, and Muhammad is the prophet of God.” Unlike Jesus, Muhammad was not divine; rather, he was the last in a line of great prophets who received messages from God to give to humanity. The Qur’an is the central scripture of Islam and contains the teachings given to Muhammad from God through the angel Gabriel. The teachings show how to live life in a way that pleases God, so that after death one’s soul will be judged worthy of spending eternity in Jannah (paradise) rather than in Jahannam (the abyss).

Weekly Practices

The Five Pillars of Islam are considered the essential practices of the faith. They include the Shahada, or confession of faith; the Salat, or ritual prayer performed five times a day; the Zakat, or alms tax; the Sawm, a period of fasting during the holy month of Ramadan; and the Hajj, a pilgrimage to the holy city of Mecca in Saudi Arabia. (Exceptions to the Sawm and the Hajj are made for Muslims who are physically or financially unable to fulfill these duties.) Certain sects of Islam have other practices in addition to the Five Pillars.

Faith Community

Muslim places of worship are called mosques, but many Muslims also gather at community centers and Islamic schools. Here is a directory of mosques and Islamic schools in the United States.


Still interested? Or want to learn about a religion I didn’t cover? There are a lot of great resources out on the web. ReligionFacts.com and Pluralism.org are good introductions to a wide range of religions practiced worldwide and in the United States. Pluralism.org also includes a great directory of religious centers, organizations, and places of worship in the United States.

That Time I Went To The West Bank

In the fall of 2011, I was living and freelancing remotely in Tel Aviv, which is a major metropolis along the Mediterranean coast of Israel—vibe-wise, it’s somewhere between Manhattan and Miami. My good friend Idan had promised to take me to Hebron, a city in the West Bank controlled jointly by the Palestinian Authority and the Israeli government. He had been stationed there for a while during his time in the IDF (Israeli Defense Force, the military service which is mandatory for young Israeli men and women) and had been meaning to take another visit, especially because of the significance of the city to the Jewish religion—Hebron contains the tomb of the Matriarchs and Patriarchs: Sarah, Abraham, Isaac, Rebecca, Jacob and Leah.

West Bank Square

Photos by Alyssa Kurtzman

I was intrigued to see such a significant (albeit difficult to get to) spot, especially with Idan, who is a veritable encyclopedia of Jewish lore and, even though it’s not his first language, probably speaks better English than I do. While in the IDF, Idan had been a pretty big-deal military paratrooper but sadly can’t disclose most of his airplane-leaping past. A slight guy, he has a seeing-eye-school flunkout Golden Lab named Ray (irony intended), and his drinking stories usually end with “and then I beat the shit out of him!” We made plans to go to Hebron in November, a few days before I was scheduled to fly back to New York. Needless to say, I decided against telling my parents in advance that we were taking a jaunt into Palestine.

Let’s pause and take note that everyone and their urologist has an opinion about Palestine. It’s a polarizing topic, and I expected to find it just as tumultuous a place. The furthest I had previously been into the West Bank was a couple months earlier, when my friends and I had raced up the Mount of Olives in Jerusalem for kicks and, needing a place to buy water, wandered into East Jerusalem (which was totally uneventful). I was very curious to see what deeper parts of the West Bank would be like, particularly in a city both so theologically important and so marked by conflict. Control of Hebron has changed hands and seen violence many, many times since Israel’s independence in 1948. Currently, a tense peace is maintained in Hebron by the fact that both peoples manage to get around without almost ever seeing each other.

The day came for our field trip to Hebron. Idan and I hopped an early coach to Jerusalem, where we switched to a second bus with reinforced, bulletproof windows heading into the Territories. It had occurred to me earlier that I might need a passport, but Idan kind of rolled his eyes at me when I brought it up and ensured me that there was no sort of “border” process. Much of the highway we passed through, as we wound our way eastward over some mountains, had cement curved walls extending from the cliffs above, apparently to prevent kids from hurling rocks down onto passing vehicles. Adventures!

After an hour or so, the bus stopped in Kiryat Arba, a Jewish town bordering Hebron, and the bus driver made an announcement. Hebrew is not a strength of mine (let alone muffled Hebrew) so Idan translated: the bus wasn’t going any further. Why? Who knows. “Okay, no problem,” said Idan. “We can hitchhike the rest of the way.”

I guess if you’re going to hitchhike for the first time, Palestine is as good a place as any.

We waited at a main road between the two towns until a woman in a small car pulled over and rolled down her window. Idan told her we were going to Hebron, and she said to hop in—she was headed into the city center to set up for a friend’s wedding. We wedged ourselves into the car, which was stuffed with streamers and balloons, and she streaked off up the windy road around another steep hill. She let us off near the entrance to Hebron, which was surprisingly desolate for a Sunday (a weekday in most Middle Eastern countries). We headed toward the giant, ancient tomb, observing some of the homes along the way.

Photos by Alyssa Kurtzman

Jews and Arabs in Hebron live quite literally on top of each other. Some of the buildings along the border of the two communities are owned by differing families, one (Jewish) entering through a door from one road and taking the bottom floors, and another (Arabic) entering through a door from a road on the other side, and residing in the upper floors. Two different tenants, living in one building, never seeing each other. This isn’t to say that these two families would lunge at each other with kitchen knives if ever they met, but it does point to the kind of tacit truce that exists between their communities, each claiming their right to such an important religious focal point but trying hard to avoid an excuse to engage in any more violence. Interestingly, many of the homes have locked screens completely covering the terraces, not to keep the people inside safe, but to keep them from throwing rocks or bottles onto the street below.

On our walk over, I began to hear what sounded like speakers switching on all around us. I can’t say that I wasn’t a little on edge by this sudden, 360-degree sound, but Idan recognized it immediately as one of the five daily Muslim prayer calls. At once, dozens of loudspeakers all around us began booming out the ululating pre-taped prayer chant from every mosque in the city.

Standing in the shadow of one of the most important relics in monotheism, hearing these ghostly echoes bouncing off the hills around you—this is a point at which you become keenly aware that you are in the middle of a place that is vital enough to have sparked wars, both on the ground and in the chambers of the United Nations. The vibration of the panoramic sound is absolutely unreal—it’s like being swallowed up by religious purpose, like the ground under your feet is the nucleus of ideological gravity.

I’m getting carried away here. Trust that it was a sound I’ll never forget—especially because I managed to record it the next time it happened that day. You can listen to the recording here and I recommend you give it a listen, because, whoa.

The prayer ended, the world stopped vibrating, and we proceeded to go find cigarettes for Idan. Waiting for him, I hung out at a gift shop next to the tomb, where there were plenty of tchotchkes for visitors of any of the three major monotheistic religions. We then walked up the long ramp to the entrance, which is about halfway up the massive structure. A young, bored-looking guard waved us in, which was pretty illustrative of the trip so far—simpler than I had ever imagined.

A classroom inside the huge building’s entrance was filled with fidgeting young boys studying Talmud. Idan went to grab a yarmulke (the round Jewish prayer cap) as I looked around. There’s something really exciting and unnerving about visiting a place that’s extraordinarily important to your culture and that almost none of your ancestors have probably ever seen in person.

We followed some signs to a large chamber, where individual gated mausoleums marked each burial spot with a banner depicting the religious figure’s name in Hebrew: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Sarah, Rebecca, Leah. I obviously can’t say if there are actual skeletons of those people underneath each banners, but this is the gravesite that a world of people have decided to believe in, and that’s pretty cool.

The entire chamber was almost entirely empty. Idan, who’d been there before, stepped away for a moment to help some praying scholars form a minyan (that is, a group of at least 10 Jewish adults needed to perform certain prayers) while I hung out solo. There were a couple of stone basins lit up with traditional memorial Jewish yarzeit candles, and I decided to light one for each of my deceased grandparents. A nice plan, except there were no matches to be found, and no Idan nearby to supply me with a lighter. So, not wanting to leave and disturb someone in the halls asking in terrible Hebrew for a light, I started to crawl around looking for a spare match. If I never expected to be in the tomb of my religion’s founders, then I can safely say I also didn’t expect to be slithering on the floor there, examining broken matches like a hobo. I finally found the remains of a matchbook, and then there was light. Kin, welcome to the tombs.

Photos by Alyssa Kurtzman

I found Idan outside the main chamber, and we left to explore the rest of Hebron. We went wandering up toward the Arabic neighborhoods on the hills above us, exploring a very old-looking cemetery as I took photos of some of the crumbling abandoned buildings (and one gutted 70’s-era Schwepps Truck) surrounding us. I stepped into the doorless atrium of one former home, empty except for a tipped-over desk chair. Idan stepped in behind me as I was snapping a picture and gasped. I turned nervously to him: “What?” “We used to smoke in here!” Ah, yes.

These vacant areas of the city really were like a patchy, cement playground. In parts where the hills were steep enough and the buildings close enough together, you could leap from rooftop to rooftop. (Try not to sing the Aladdin song. Try not to sing the Aladdin song.) Idan showed me different parts of the city where he had been stationed: tall guard towers, assorted little barred kiosks near schools and markets. Eventually, we had wandered high enough that I worried we were encroaching on the less outsider-friendly neighborhoods. “Oh, don’t worry,” said Idan, reassuring me that we had been in that section for some time now.

Along one road above us, two boys poked their heads out from behind a stack of burlap sacks. “Salaam!” they greeted us. “Salaam!” we said. Then, hesitantly, they said “Hello!!” “Hello!” we said back, still from a distance. The boys looked gleeful, probably that they had gotten us two idiots to mimic them. From behind the stacks emerged someone who looked like their father, investigating what his sons were yelling at. We exchanged waves, and then he shouted something down to us in Arabic that I didn’t understand. Idan turned to me. “He wants to know if we want to come up for some coffee.”

I can’t pretend that I wasn’t a little nervous to approach a strange Arabic man, wearing jeans and no head cover, accompanied by an Israeli male that I wasn’t married to, in the supposedly unfriendly section of a city in the mostly hotly contested territory in the world. But I knew to follow Idan’s experienced lead. Good thing we both love coffee.

We walked up to the gate of the man’s home, and he let us in. We followed him around the back of the small house, where children were playing in a little yard next to a wooden shed. When we walked through the doorway into the house, I half-expected to find a gathering of other tourists, similarly puzzled to have been invited in. Instead, we were led into a beautiful parlor with intricately upholstered furniture. The man invited us to sit, and we started chatting. His Hebrew was about as stilted as mine, which made it one of the most productive conversations I’ve ever had in that language. He told us he was a sandal-maker, and we told him we were visiting from Tel Aviv but I was originally from New York. The two sons came in with their sisters, sitting down and pointing at us, giggling to each other.

The man’s beaming wife came in with a tray of beautiful silver Arabic coffee cups. In case you haven’t had it, Arabic coffee is kind of like espresso but stronger, darker, and brewed with almost equal parts grounds and sugar—at least if you make it right. We all took a cup and then she sat down, too. At this point, the sons were bored enough to turn around and start playing some shoot ’em-up computer game with Arabic subtitles, but the girls stayed put. One of them started playing with the big SLR camera around my neck, and her mother shooed her away. “That’s alright!” I said. I showed her how to look through the viewfinder and how to twist the lens to zoom the picture in and out, and she was entranced.

An older woman came in and the man introduced her as his mother. The granddaughters jumped aside so she could sit, and she asked her son a question, which he relayed to us. Are we married? I don’t know the Hebrew or Arabic word for ‘platonic’ but I think leaning back and shaking your head with your eyes wide open is universal code. “No, no, no, we’re friends.” The women both started laughing at this absurd notion, and Idan and I just kind of smiled and shrugged. Then, the man asked us if we wanted to see his factory. (Actually, I don’t know for sure if he explicitly said “factory,” because Idan had to translate that one for me.) I still couldn’t believe where we were and how unremarkable it all seemed—not that it was a mundane experience, but that it was exactly what you might expect from a conversation over a coffee with some friendly people you don’t know.

After we finished the coffee, back outside we went. This time, we walked down into that little shed in the backyard—the sandal factory. Inside were four old men working at ancient-looking sewing machines and smoking cigarettes. Our host showed us a few finished products and told us that his sandals were some of the best quality you could find in the Israeli markets. Idan and I promised to tell our friends.

And that was it. Idan shook the man’s hand, we thanked him and his family for hosting us. I wish I had gotten a photo of all of us together, but regretfully I didn’t even think of it, not to mention my new little friend was having too much fun with the camera for me to want to take it back any earlier than necessary. We didn’t realize until later that Idan had been wearing his yarmulke that whole time.

The rest of the trip was entirely uneventful: We watched stray dogs and ate sandwiches from the gift shop while we waited for the bus back. When it came, we hopped on and headed back to Jerusalem.

I don’t know what groundbreaking lessons are to be grasped from our day in Hebron, except perhaps that 1. Religion is quite a powerful thing and 2. People are generally as generous as they are curious. That said, I can’t say that I would have traveled to such a foreign place without a trustworthy friend who knew the city so well. Before the trip, I never expected any experience in Hebron to top the Tombs in terms of enlightenment, but then I got a rare chance to see the expectation of culturally-rooted animosity completely disproved. Also, I can say that I have breathed the ground-dust of the holy tombs of the Matriarchs and Patriarchs, and it smelled like history.