Tag Archives: google calendar

Long Distance Sucks: How to Make it Suck Less

August 30, 2013 Lily Henderson 1 Comment

For two years, my partner and I lived across the country, on opposite coasts. It was totally worth it, because he’s awesome, but the situation was awful. There are really no two ways about it. I constantly felt like I was reevaluating my decision to leave the city we both lived in for a really fantastic career opportunity, making me wonder if I was ungrateful. Or I would listlessly watch airline prices go up and down. All in all, it was a super fun set of emotions.

Here are a few of the things that worked for me to make things suck a little less:

Know your tools: The Internet makes life a lot better. For example, just seeing a familiar person’s face on a screen can boost your mood automatically. And if it’s your partner’s face—even better! Skype, Google Calendar, FaceTime, Google Hangouts, AIM, Tinychat, Instagram, Snapchat: all of these are ways to informally and quickly stay in touch via the Internet. Relationships are not all about two hour heart-to-hearts. While those are great, I need to feel like my daily quota of small cutesy interactions is being filled. These apps/programs/services work super well for this. A good friend who is currently in a long distance relationship recommends the app Couple, which allows you to text, play games, make pictures, and “finger kiss”—a little cheesy, yes, but what isn’t?

Know when the long distance will end: But don’t necessarily keep a countdown on your phone if it’s more than a couple months, mmk? No need to remind yourself that there are 682 days ‘till you can live in the same time zone. However, knowing that there was a stop date sometime in the future made it so I didn’t slip into ennui.

Know when you’ll see them next: This is a good one to keep as a countdown on your phone, if you are able to visit during your time apart. My partner and I would always try to book tickets for our next trip when we were physically together so that there was never any “I don’t know when I’ll see you next” time. This wasn’t always possible, but was incredibly helpful when we could manage it.

Know your limits: Mine, for whatever reason, is 30 days. Exactly, like clockwork. After that, I better go to Costco for tissues. There is just something about passing that thirty-day mark where things get really tricky. This doesn’t mean that I bought plane tickets every month (because, damn, flights from DC to SF can be expensive), but I knew that I would need more support from my partner and my friends after the thirty-day mark. In fact, we typically saw each other about every three months, so I knew to make friend dates and phone catch-up nights more regularly during months two and three of apart-time. I learned to actively seek out support before things got hard. Speaking of…

Know your support network: Who can you call when you are at wits’ end about this stupid decision and stupid world that makes life stupid and hard who won’t say “Well, you chose to do long distance”? Hearing that when you are at rock bottom will only show you that there are actually a couple more special levels of hell you have yet to explore. Make a list of people who support you well (newsflash, not all friends are equally supportive) and tape it to your fridge so you don’t have to think hard when you already are feeling totally ragged.

Know your schedule: Worst for me was not knowing when I would talk to my S.O. next. Even if it’s only a 10 minute chat, knowing I got ten minutes of phone time at 7pm on Tuesdays was really comforting to me! Google Calendar is great for this. Try to work the time difference to your advantage, if there is one. Is there any chance your lunch break is while they are eating breakfast? Or your break between classes is when they are driving home from work? It’s definitely worth exploring to find the parts of your schedule that make for easy touch-base times. Share your calendars and give your partner permission to make changes to events. Maybe it’s me, but I always loved having a meeting with my partner pop up unexpectedly on my schedule.

Know what you need: Have really open and clear conversations about what you need in order to make it work. Does that mean you need them to respond to your texts within at least an hour or two? Fine. Does that mean you need to watch a movie together over Skype every two weeks? Talk it out. Daily mix tapes expressing your general mood? Okay, if you’ve got that kinda time, it’s definitely worth throwing the suggestion out there. Not every request needs to be honored, but it does need to be discussed.

Know what happens next: Do you move in together when you are back in the same place? Are you considering marriage? These are huge questions, I know, but they’re totally reasonable. Long distance is work, and I personally think that if you’re going to do it, it shouldn’t be just because you don’t feel like breaking up. This does not mean you have to walk out the door engaged or anything. But it’s good to know you are on the same page, whether the agreement is that you both think this might be a good marriage someday (if you decide marriage is a thing you both want to do), or just that the goal is that you will live within 10 miles in 5 years. Coming back and having the relationship fall apart because there was no discussion about where things were going is totally common, and can make you feel like you wasted a lot of time not hooking up with all the new available people in the place where you moved (you know, if that’s your jam).

Know that when you’re together, it may not be a bed of roses: I would beat myself up when I would hit a rough patch with my partner when he was in town, because ugh this is the only time I get to see him! Which led to this strange anger/shame/frustration spiral that inevitably ended with me lying on the floor sobbing and him just beyond confused. You are in a real relationship, and putting on a perfect face for the weekend/week/month they are around just doesn’t work. Yes, you should work hard to fully enjoy the time together, but allow yourself to be a human being with complex emotions. You’ll feel more whole, and be able to work through the issues more quickly if you aren’t also dealing with feeling like a failure for being upset.

Bottom line, there is no cure-all for being in different cities, states, countries or continents (besides moving to the same place), but there are definitely ways to make it less painful.

Any other tips and tricks? Leave a comment below to share your experiences and successes!

Photo by Sara Slattery

Geekery

All My Shit’s Online

May 20, 2013 Chuong Nguyen 6 Comments

My boyfriend and I have schedules that don’t match up. We have social calendars that sometimes deviate from one another’s. Sometimes I forget that we really need to get eggs from the grocery store. Again. And so did he on his way home from work. Life together is complicated, but we use a variety of Google web apps to make managing the chaos easier. When we started planning a trip to Japan, there were questions like “What the hell do I need to pack? How cold is it? Are we going anywhere warm?” (Everything, very, and no). Now, when we need to organize anything, we just share a document in the cloud: no fuss, no forgotten eggs, and just a clean spreadsheet synced across our devices.

Photos by Chuong Nguyen

As a fairly avid iOS user, I have no issues using main competitor’s web products. Google’s products are built better from a user’s point of view, and they’re easier to access from any device with an Internet connection. If you’ve got an Android product, these services sync up nicely with your devices to make sure you stay on track with whatever you’re doing.

For weary travelers with organizational issues, read on:

Google Calendar (or How My Boyfriend and I Book Each Other Up)

When I was at university, I made appointments on my Google Calendar for myself when I had work and classes. I’d set the appointment to recur until the end of the semester, and gave it a separate colored label so it could fade into the background. This provided the basic template for when I had free time, how late I could sleep in, and approximately what time I’d come crashing home. From here, a differently colored calendar was my appointment book for assignments and papers. Small reminders of “12pg paper on Environmental Waste” or “Problems 1-35, odd, page 76” helped declutter my mess of syllabi from my school bag. It became easier to just check my calendar for when things were due for what class, than to rifle through a binder full of papers.

When my boyfriend and I started seeing each other more seriously, we realized that we had fairly opposite schedules. I had work in the mornings and classes in the evening with some nights off, and he had classes midday and work in the evening with some mornings off. We had to compromise and find times for when we could see each other, and sharing our Google Calendars gave us the visual organization we needed to know that we could indeed see Iron Man on Thursday night, probably around 8 PM. His Calendar shows up as a different color than mine, so it helps me see when I’m free compared to when he is available. From here, it’s not that hard to text and ask if he’d like to have brunch on Saturday, because I can see that he’s working a closing shift. A few minutes of organization from you and your partner can make seeing each other so much easier.

Google Drive (or How to Always Have Everything You Need for School and Work)

Google Drive

Google Drive started as Google Docs, but it’s become Google’s version of Dropbox. Sure it’s not exactly the same thing, but for major documentation and cloud editing, it’s the best that I’ve used. You can upload and store files from other applications, or choose to create and edit within your browser using Google’s alternatives: Docs, Sheets, and Slides.

Google Docs can be used to take notes for class or work, stored on the cloud for you to access from your smartphone, tablet, or laptop. It’s easier to study (and you can’t make excuses), because your notes are everywhere! For writers too, it’s a good idea to just start docs with your poetry or quick writing. You can come back to it later when you come home from the cafe or school, and revisit it if you want to.

Google Doc

I use Google Sheets (similar to Microsoft Excel) to calculate budgets, including how much I’m paying for rent, if we can eat at Chili’s on Thursday (yes, but no margaritas), and how much I can afford to put into savings. Planning for trips and events (such as my friend’s lovely wedding, including all of her ideas) is a breeze. I set up a tab for locations, another for timetables and itineraries, and another for my packing list. The reward for planning on Google Sheets is that I can check it or update it from the parking lot at the grocery store or from my work computer without forgetting it by the time I get home.

But here’s my favorite part: Google Slides is a cloud-accessible version of Microsoft PowerPoint, with all of the perks of shared collaboration. You can upload your template to the Drive, and everyone can add in their parts. From there, you can peer edit easily, with commenting and built-in tracking of all the revisions from each person. I also particularly like using Slides to present as well, to avoid issues with exporting and importing into PowerPoint. It makes working in groups in university or high school (and arguably in the professional world as well) very easy. There’s no angst about how Jenny doesn’t have PowerPoint 2012 or how Marcus wants to use this font that his dad designed but no one else has installed. (That said, standard disclaimer about putting private industry information in the cloud. Google has pretty solid security, but you don’t want to be the person that leaked big news to the public. Be careful, but be proactive about using it.)

Google Presentation

For the folks who like having documents on the go, Drive is a godsend. I’ve studied from my smartphone in the hallway before an exam. I’ve used Sheets to see when I’m probably going to be debt free (or more realistically, if that new toaster is within my reasonable budget). I’ve watched my group sigh with relief when I pull up the presentation that someone forgot to bring on a USB drive.

Why You Should Declutter Your Life and Let Google Do It For You

It’s easy. You can have your social calendar on the go. You can study for classes, jot down notes, and plan your wedding from your smartphone or tablet. You can throw up that presentation about Grandma and Grandpa’s 50th Wedding Anniversary just because they wanted to see it again in without any hassle. Getting your stuff into the cloud takes a little time investment, but the payoff is huge. You can sync up with friends and coworkers, maintain and protect your access to your documents, and avoid duplication or loss of effort. If you have a Gmail or Google Apps address, you already have access to Google Drive; if you don’t, it’s free to sign up!