Tag Archives: eating

Not Going Broke, A How-To

After vacationing in Japan, visiting New York, and moving in with my boyfriend, all within three months, I had a lot of debt and needed to have a plan to get rid of it. I have a decent job that sort of allows me to live comfortably, but the reality is that I needed to budget my spending and hold myself to it. Budgeting my way out of debt and into better savings sucks. It really does, but it’s part of being a responsible adult who maybe wants to buy a house, or get married, or take another big vacation abroad.

Photo by Meaghan Morrison

Photo by Meaghan Morrison

Let’s take a look at how I try to set up my budget, which is generally applicable for a young working professional living in the major Bay Area. Please note that the cost of living can be scaled down (or up) depending on where you live.

How Much Money You Make

For salaried workers, this is pretty simple. How much do you get paid? How often do you get paid? Multiply accordingly to figure out about how much you make each month. For example, let’s say my annual income is $40,000–after taxes. It comes out to about $1,200 per paycheck twice a month. We’ll work with a baseline of $2,400 dollars each month, subtracting as we count our expenses.

Cash Flow: $2,400

How Much You Have to Spend

Car payments, rent, and insurance are some typical costs. These are required for not losing your car, your home, and your health (or maintaining any of the above), and as such, these are your priority payments each month. In addition, since you have to buy gas for your car, you should estimate the average cost of a tank and the number of times you fill up in a month. I generally go to a gas station about three times a month, give or take a week. There’s not really an opportunity for cost savings here, barring trading down your current car and moving back and forth.

Cash Flow: $2,400

Rent: -$700

Car Payment: -$306

Gasoline: -$120

Car / Renter’s Insurance: -$110

Cash Flow after Necessities: $1,164

How Much You Have for Food

Barring rent, food is where I spend the majority of my money each month. Cutting back from having sushi two to three times a week sucked, but I had to devise a plan for saving money where I usually spend the most.

First, I accounted for breakfast and work lunches. I normally don’t eat breakfast, but sometimes I do get coffee. Paying $4 three times a week for a coffee and snack comes to $12 per week for breakfast. For lunch, the cafeteria at my work tends to charge about $6 per meal, but I want a little breathing room to eat out with my co-workers once a week at about $15. A $6 cafeteria lunch four times a week, plus $15 for eating out once a week, comes to $39 per week for lunch. Next, we should account for dinners, desserts, and other snacks you would normally eat at home. I try to eat something of moderate size and of moderate price from the grocery store most nights of the week. This usually comes out to about $10 a day, sometimes serving for two or more.

To account for eating out, I let the cost savings roll over, and try to not binge on alcohol or appetizers. In order to calculate how much you’d spend each month, multiply your weekly costs for breakfast, lunch, and dinner by about 4.3 (the average number of weeks in a month). It isn’t an exact number, but it generally works out to be fairly accurate (and then I round up to the nearest whole dollar).

This part of the budget varies greatly from person to person, as some people care more about what they’re eating, how often they’re eating it, and if they can stand leftovers. I for one don’t mind leftovers, but hate monotony in the variety of my overall meals, so I spend a little more on some meals for bigger tastier foods.

Cash Flow after Necessities: $1,164

Breakfast: -$51

Lunch: -$168

Dinner: -$300

Cash Flow after Food: $645

How Much You Have for Fun

Shit gets tricky here. You have a finite amount of money left this month. You could spend it on drinking, a new pair of shoes, or a coffee table. I like all of these things, but my savings are more important to me. If you don’t have any, what happens when you run into trouble? I’m a bit proud and don’t really want to ask my mom and dad for help, so I put a small, but decent chunk directly into savings.

After that, it’s sort of like juggling. You can revise how much you spend each month on entertainment, such as movies or small trips. Or maybe, you want to spend more money on material things, and go shopping more often. These budgets are flexible because you still have money left over. I recommend that you put anything remaining from your cash flow into savings.

Cash Flow after Food: $645

Savings: -$200

Entertainment: -$120

Shopping: -$200

Cash Flow after Fun: $125

Getting Out of Debt

Above, there’s the basic outline of a budget, but you can see that at the end, there’s not a lot to pay back toward existing bills. Here’s where you look at all the things you’re spending money on and figure out where you can afford to cut back. For example, you don’t really need to spend $200 a month on shopping for new things. This could be cut down to $50 for new games or some new makeup, bringing your debt repayment funds up to $275. Furthermore, not everyone is like me and spends a lot of money on food. Some folks I know spend less than $200 a month on food, and that could be you too! Saving money to pay debt sucks, but it needs to be done if you want to be a financially responsible adult. Just learn to cut where it doesn’t hurt as bad.

Note that if you have long-standing credit card debt, you should try to pay it off first before putting a lot into savings. Your savings doesn’t accrue interest, while owing money to credit card companies costs you more in the long run. You should also aim to pay off your credit cards every month, making the bills in the long term much more manageable.

Making Everything Easier

Finally, work out your budget in Microsoft Excel or Google Spreadsheets: it’s an excellent way to have a copy that you can manipulate and track your progress. Alternatively, you can use a site such as Mint to have them track your spending. Such websites can pull records from your credit cards, bank statements, and other bills to better show much you’ve been spending, and usually they have great ways to analyze your spending or track your goals. You can use these to see where you’ve been putting all your hard-earned cash, so you can decide where you need to cut back.

Good luck with the budgets and the savings!

Remotivation: Jumping Back on the Health Bandwagon

It’s 11 pm. You stand in front of the open refrigerator, rub your distended belly and wonder what just happened to the fifteen Darth Maul cookies left over from your boyfriend’s “May the Fourth Be With You” Star Wars party. Oh yeah, you just ate them all, despite your determined declaration just last Monday that “It’s time to start fresh!” They somehow found their way into your mouth, and on the fourth day in a row of not working out, too. What bad luck! Evil cookies!

If you have ever tried to begin living a healthy lifestyle, you are probably familiar with one of the two following scenarios. One is to say “Screw it, I’ll start next month” and throw out your entire health plan (so you might as well cram in that last cupcake, too). The other is to spiral into a fit of self-loathing and overcompensation, involving weird cleanses with exotic spices and citrus and two hours every day on the elliptical.

Stop! There is a healthier way! Stop binging or purging (or a combination of both) and follow this easy, healthy method to remotivate yourself in the days immediately following a slip-up. And if you’ve never tried to live a healthy lifestyle for the first time, you can apply these same principles to begin in an appropriate, non-Nicole-Richie way!

That Night

Don’t beat yourself up. You are human, and humans make mistakes. Don’t make yourself throw up (or even try) and don’t continue to binge—you know you’re uncomfortable anyway. Take that food baby to bed and get a good night’s sleep.

And stop doing jumping jacks; it’s just going to give you cramps. You’ll know it’s futile when you have to stop after three of them.

The Next Morning

First of all, I’d like to reiterate last night’s message: don’t beat yourself up. Realize that one day of overeating (or even a couple of days) isn’t going to morph you into Jabba the Hut. That being said, it doesn’t give you a pass to keep screwing up. Those calories count, and so do calories for the rest of that week, and all those extras add up quickly. This is a new day, a day to forgive yourself and start out with fresh determination.

With all of that in mind, start with a healthy breakfast. I know you might still feel kind of bloated and gross from the night before, and eating might be the last thing you want to do, but starting your day with a light but nourishing meal will give you energy, keep your metabolism going, avoid the 3 pm hunger attack, and remind you that food is not of the devil. If you don’t usually eat breakfast, now is a good time to start. Most people think that they will lose weight by cutting calories earlier in the day; however, most people who skip breakfast end up making up those calories later in the day, and often even more than usual because starvation leads to very poor choices later on. Intense hunger pangs tend to make you go for the fastest food option. Keep driving past that McDonald’s, and don’t you dare stop!

Make sure your breakfast includes a lean protein, which will help keep you full, and a complex carbohydrate (any whole grain or fibrous fruit or vegetable), which will slow your digestion, keep you full, and create a slow-release energy that will hold you over ‘til lunchtime. Some great examples are:

  • Nonfat Greek yogurt, with a handful of berries (I use frozen for convenience), a sprinkling of granola, and a drizzle of honey.
  • Two whole grain toaster waffles spread with a tablespoon of peanut butter and sliced banana.
  • Scrambled egg whites with mixed vegetables and a slice of whole wheat toast.

Also, get a workout in! It’ll boost your endorphins, and even a light morning walk will remind you that food is fuel and that calories don’t have to stick if you don’t want them to! Plus, you’ll feel much better and get a self-esteem boost if you tend to be hard on yourself.

The Rest of That Day

There are two things you need to do before the day is over. One is to make a plan for the rest of the week, including your dinners and workouts. The best way to combat a future slip-up is to have a plan and treat it as a non-negotiable appointment. At the same time, keep your expectations realistic. Know thyself, and give yourself goals that you know you can accomplish. For instance, if you work an 80-hour workweek starting at 9 am and you come home exhausted every day, don’t expect to work out after your workday—you’ll never get it done. Instead, plan to suck it up and set your alarm for an hour earlier. Get your workout in before work when you still have a ton of energy, or plan a lunchtime workout. Having your plan in front of you, on paper (or smartphone), will assure you that it’s doable. Look, you have time for it! You scheduled it in: it’s in your schedule right there!

The other task is to get rid of whatever triggered your slip-up in the first place. I know it sucks to throw out food, especially if that food happens to be leftover nachos (they crisp up great in the oven!), but just close your eyes and get it done. In fact, this might be a great time to go through your cupboard and throw out problem foods in general. Giant jar of mayonnaise? Get rid of it. Double-stuff Oreos lurking in your pantry? Bid it farewell. Cooking lard? What are you, crazy? Banish it from thy sight!

This is one I have trouble with. My pantry is pretty well-behaved in general, but if there is leftover brownie cheesecake from a party, my logic says, “Well, I don’t want it to go to waste, but I don’t want it tempting me all week. I’ll just… eat it all now! That way, it won’t be a problem later and I’ll only have been really bad for one day, instead of slightly bad for seven days! Genius!”

What? Don’t raise your eyebrows at me. No one is perfect. Let’s move on.

The Rest of That Week

Stick to your plan. Recognize that treat days are perfectly acceptable within the structure of a healthy lifestyle, but the best way to distribute them is to wait for a treat day (or, preferably, just one treat meal) on a special occasion when you really won’t care, such as a family dinner, birthday party, or holiday. A good way to look at it is the 90/10 rule: eat well 90% of the time, and don’t worry about the other 10%.

Do your research. Find healthy alternatives for cooking methods, ingredients, or your favorite treats. For example, sauté vegetables in chicken broth instead of butter, or replace an after-dinner serving of ice cream or cake with a bowl of sliced apples, sprinkled with cinnamon, oats, and honey heated in the microwave. Voilà, healthy apple crumble. Once you’ve done your research, do your grocery shopping and begin incorporating these substitutes into your diet!

Have a rule for your workouts: never, ever, go more than two days in a row without exercise. Any kind of exercise. If you’re on a trip, find the hotel gym or go jogging. Visiting friends? Go out for a walk or hike, and let them show you the town. If you’re in space, I don’t know… bounce off the walls in zero gravity or something! Just make it a priority to keep active and keep it in the forefront of your mind. With this rule, you will never wake up one morning and realize it’s been two months since you’ve worked out, and you will get a decent number of workouts in per week.

The Rest of your Life

Remember, a healthy lifestyle is just that… a lifestyle. Whatever you plan to do, you have to see yourself doing it for the rest of your life. There is no magic diet that will help you reach your ideal Hugh Jackman/Gwyneth Paltrow proportions, and then let you go back to eating whatever garbage you want without gaining it all back.

This also may mean letting go of some unrealistic expectations. If the only way you’ll ever look like Gwyneth Paltrow (who, honestly, I don’t think is that hot anyway) is by starving yourself, then you aren’t meant to look like Gwyneth Paltrow (who, again… is not that hot). Learn to love your body for what it is! The human body is an extraordinary thing, and can do extraordinary things if you treat it well and let it try. Often, exercise is a doorway to this frame of mind; once you see what your body can do given the chance, you’ll stop punishing it and start taking good care of it.

And finally, I’d like to leave you with this final note on the nature of food. Food can be the best medicine in the world or a slow, agonizing poison, but food is not evil. It isn’t trying to trip you up, and that burger honestly does not have it out for you. There is great joy to be found in our food. Treats can be enjoyed in moderation, but you need to find the balance for yourself. Good, healthy, and nutritious food can have beautiful tastes, textures, and color, and above all, it will nourish and enrich your life and fuel your amazing body. Make the right choices, find the love and richness that can be found through good health, and make that your healthy lifestyle.

It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it, and I promise you will thank yourself.

remotivation

How to Behave in a Restaurant: A Step-By-Step Guide

This may seem really basic, but unfortunately, it’s not. While I understand that people in this world are, in general, benevolent souls who want only the best for their fellow beings, during my time as a server I didn’t encounter them that often. A lot of our patrons seemed to have not gotten past lessons such as, “Don’t throw your spaghetti on the floor.” (And some people never even got the hang of that.)

I’ll shed some light on the behind-the-scenes of how a restaurant works. Let’s talk basic etiquette!

Walking In

Hopefully, this restaurant has staffed plenty of hostesses, so you will not be kept one unnecessary second from your plate of linguine alfredo. If not, remember that no one is neglecting you on purpose, and wait patiently. But it’s also perfectly acceptable to ask anyone passing by (politely and graciously) if it would be possible to obtain a table. Even if they are not a host, chances are they’ll be able to seat you or at least send the hostess over.

Being Seated

Most restaurants have a rotation system, where hosts seat guests in rotating server sections so that every waiter serves the same number of tables. This way, one server doesn’t get overwhelmed, leaving the rest with nothing to do, and everyone makes about the same amount of money.

Keep this in mind when you request a different table. If it’s a matter of comfort (because of sunlight, booth size, etc.), then absolutely request a different table. If it’s your 50th anniversary and there’s a romantic window view, they will try to accommodate you (but be patient if they can’t: everyone wants the damn window tables). But if you’re having lunch with a blind date, or coworkers, or anything else where placement isn’t essential, try to be happy with the table you’re given.

Waiting to be Greeted

If a server is well-trained, they will do their best to greet you within a minute or two of you sitting. However, even the best servers get busy sometimes. If it seems like a long wait for your server to approach you, it’s ok to ask another server to send someone over, as long as you are (again) polite and gracious.

When the server (probably breathlessly) arrives and greets you, be nice to the poor wretch. You want to have a good time, right? Don’t ruin what could be a perfectly pleasant dining experience just because you had to wait a couple extra minutes for your precious Arnold Palmer.

Ordering

If you say you’re ready to order, make sure it’s true. Read the menu carefully and know what comes on or with the dish. Speak slowly and clearly so they have a chance to note everything. And if you have a super-duper-special order, don’t be embarrassed; just let the server know before you start ordering so they make enough room to write everything down.

If there’s a special order you want, and they can’t do it, let it go. If it’s really important, go ahead and ask your server to check with the chef. Most restaurant employees are happy to do everything they can for you. Have a backup order ready just in case though, don’t make them stand there for five minutes straight while you go “Ummmmmmmmm…” and the patrons at their six other tables are staring holes into the server’s back.

If you decide to change your order, please oh please track down your server to let them know as soon as possible. It’s ideal to catch them before your order is being made so they can rush to the kitchen and inform them so the cooks don’t get backed up. Plus the server has to run and track down a manager to change the check so you don’t get charged for two entrees. The sooner you let them know, the sooner you’ll get the entrée you really want.

Waiting For Your Food

It’s perfectly ok to ask about the status of your order if it seems like it’s taking a long time. However, keep in mind that 90% of the time when the food takes a while it’s because the kitchen is either backed up or you ordered something well-done. Those things are totally out of the server’s hands, so please don’t blame them. Enjoy your drink. Get another round if you want. Breathe.

Eating

As you eat, you may discover you need paper napkins, more water, ranch dressing, whatever. Try to think of all of them at once. Nothing slows a server down more than a group that needs a new thing every time the server walks by. The more efficient a server can be, the better service they can give you.

For the love of all things holy, don’t snap your fingers to get the server’s attention. Servers are not dogs. “Excuse me,” “sir,” “miss,” or a simple index finger in the air are all preferable to snapping, whistling, or (believe it or not) “sweet cheeks,” “honey,” and “beautiful.” Respect goes a long way toward getting a server to like you, and when a server likes you, it can pay off; they are far more willing to go the extra mile for you if you treat them decently.

Speaking of respect: guys, don’t hit on your waitress. Just don’t do it. If you want to be nice, or funny, or charming, go for it. Hey, who knows, she might like you. Anything can happen. But don’t ask for her number, tell her how sexy she looks in her khakis and baggy company t-shirt, or attempt any lame pickup lines. If you continually behave that way, she’s gonna avoid you like you have fleas. Which you actually might.

One more thing: try not to get too drunk. ‘Nuff said.

When You’re Done

The best way to let a server know you’re finished is to put your napkin or other garbage on the plate. It is certainly not expected, although it can be nice, for you to stack your dishes for your server to pick up (although make sure they won’t topple over).

Ask for the proper number of take home boxes to increase efficiency and avoid box waste. (Note: I once worked for a place that had a policy to not send home any leftover happy-hour food. If a server informs you of a policy like that, please don’t blame the server. They’re not withholding boxes from you on purpose, and often there is nothing they can do.)

Ask for the check as soon as you know you won’t be ordering any more, and don’t expect the server to check up on you like they did when you were ordering or eating. The servers have other tables that actually need service. Pay your check promptly and sign the receipt as soon as you get it: your server may be at the end of their shift and your receipt could be what’s keeping them at work, and you don’t want your receipt to keep them overtime. It’s totally ok to enjoy and linger over your drinks or dessert after you’ve paid the check, but be mindful if it’s really busy, a server’s income depends on getting a table turned quickly.

Tipping

Let me tell you a secret: if you’re a good tipper, you will instantly be forgiven for breaking almost any of the other rules in this article. If you’re a pain in the butt and tip well at the end, you are effectively compensating that server for all the extra work they did to take care of your super-special needs. This is acknowledged and respected. If you become a regular who is also a good tipper and the servers at the establishment know this, chances are that you will be introduced to a whole new level of awesome restaurant experiences.

A 15% tip is generally considered pretty standard. That means that you got everything you needed in a relatively timely fashion, and you pretty much enjoyed everything. If there were a couple of little hiccups that didn’t affect your overall enjoyment of the evening, super-cool people will still tip this much.

A 10% tip used to be considered standard, but no longer. A 10% tip is a bare-minimum tip. Your server was…eh, ok, you never got that extra side of ranch even after reminding your server once, it took them a long time to greet you, but at least you got fed and didn’t get over-charged. A 10% tip should be considered a borderline “punishment” tip.

Anything less than 10% means bad times. Only tip this low if it’s justified. Your server was rude, and your order came out wrong and everyone else was done eating by the time they got you a new one. Everything went badly. If you’re really angry, don’t write a nasty note on the tip slip “to inform the server without getting them in trouble,” because the managers see those slips anyway. Go see the manager. If you’re concerned about disciplinary action, go ahead and let the manager know if you don’t feel it warrants any action and you only want to inform them of your experience; they’ll usually take that into account.

A 20% tip is a good tip. Servers will always be happy they served you if you give this. This is appropriate if you got everything you needed and were happy throughout the whole meal.  Anything over 20% is boss. This is appropriate if the server was freakin’ awesome and you want to let them know “Hey, thanks for being amazing even when it’s so busy. I know you were working really hard. Here’s an extra dollar or two to go buy yourself a….well, something that costs a dollar or two.”

If you can’t afford a decent tip, no matter how good the service, don’t go to a tipping establishment. There’s a magical place (called McDonald’s) where you can go instead.

This segment is longer than the other ones because it’s the most important. Sorry, romantics, but in the restaurant biz, money talks.

On Your Way Out

If you had a great experience, let the manager know. They’ll tell the server, and it’s nice to hear that in a world of complainers. (Hopefully after reading this article, none of you are one of those anymore!)

If you had a bad experience, go ahead and accept any free coupons/comps/etc. the manager may offer you, but do not insist on it. It will seem tacky, and you will probably rub the manager the wrong way and they will be less inclined to help you. Servers I know have had tables make up complaints just to get free food. They’re scam artists: don’t be one.

In General

I have always maintained the belief that there are two kinds of people who go out to eat. The first kind is out to have a good time, so they won’t let the little things get to them. They’ll try to enjoy themselves no matter what, and they are always pleasant and wonderful to serve. Then, there are people who go out to eat in order to feel superior. These people will complain over trifles and use restaurant staff as whipping boys for their frustrated lives.

Which one would you rather be?

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Photo by Meaghan Morrison