Last month, the UNDERenlightened asked for DIY articles for an upcoming week, and I immediately thought to myself, “Guys, I got this one.” I’m a craft junkie with a history of quilting, stenciling, knitting, and reupholstering my way through this life, and Michael and Jo-Ann are basically like family (the craft stores… you know them). So I was looking down all kinds of avenues worth exploring for this one.

Then, I went into my living room to watch Homeland and I said to my roommate, “What channel is Showtime?” To which she responded that she has no idea what any of the channels are or what anyone’s phone number is anymore because of Internets and iPhones. (I’m paraphrasing.) But it got me thinking. I am not doing things myself. That can’t be too healthy… I rely on my iPhone, and the Internet, and GPS, and escalators, and crosswalks, and my dishwasher and washing machine, and Mr. Clean magic erasers. And I was like, s#*t, I’m a fraud! Who cares if I can take this pile of yarn and crochet it into the likeness of C-3PO if I can’t offer you proper directions across town without Siri’s lifeless robo-commands in my ear?

Am I right?

Don’t look at me like that. I’m betting you’re dependent on everything too. Okay, maybe you know what channel Fox is and what time New Girl is on, but that’s your imaginary love affair with Zoey Deschanel doing the heavy lifting and nothing more. You still haven’t told me what channel is Showtime (is it in the two hundreds?).

As a growing phenomenon, more and more people are turning to their iThings and Androids for more than just the basics. Do you clutch to your smartphone for directions when you’re lost? Go to it for games when you’re bored? Log onto social media when you don’t want to feel alone? I found myself doing this far more than I wanted to admit. And the hard truth is that sometimes we are alone and no number of Facebook likes or Instagram followers, or House of Cards marathons or slices of cheesecake, or any other thing is going to alleviate that feeling.

Wait, we’re not talking about GPS anymore are we? Okay, no. But hear me out, because 2013 asked me to look right into the face of all that aloneness and what I saw staring back was not what I had expected. I spent a lot of my life carrying this really heavy, pretty broken thing around, trying to keep it patched and off the ground. Then, I finally gave myself permission to just… put it down. At first it was scary to do that because, as broken and heavy as this thing was, it was my thing and putting it down created what felt like a very empty space.

I didn’t want to go into that space, because there can be great fear in the idea of being alone. But what I found there wasn’t ugly, or lonely, or painful. What I found was peace, and patience, and pride. It gave me some distance to evaluate what I needed as a person (with needs), what my limitations were, and how knowing these things turned out to speak volumes about what I knew about myself and who I want to be.

In honor creating an outlet for the “aloneness” that was, I rededicated myself to a regular yoga practice, one I had led on and off throughout college, because even in a classroom full of people, you’re the only one on your mat. From there, I watched the parallels of the exercises on and off the mat. I watched as that strength translated to my body and I gained the strength to hold myself up in ways I wasn’t sure it would be able to, ways I had never expected.

Being alone allows you to take a moment and see what’s really there. Feel what you’re really feeling and just be with that, and since you help make up those feelings, being with them also gives yourself the space to simply exist and be accepted. So, since he said it better than I think I ever will, I’m going to give the floor to Louis C.K. for just a moment as he explains to Conan O’Brien that there’s beauty in being alone: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HbYScltf1c#t=54

I’m not arguing that everyone should shun the world and cave-out away from all the people. It’s just a thought, maybe a reminder, that as we begin our new year it’s important to remember to sometimes step away from the cloudy, constant, run-run of the Internet, radio, television rat race of bigger-being-better and more-being-merrier, and just step away from time to time. Even though we may not want to and we may not even have to do things on our own, I think there’s great beauty and comfort in knowing that we can. So let’s let our bodies and minds impress us with what they are capable of—and maybe learn a phone number or two this year.