Food

My Cauliflower Nightmare

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This summer, I was shopping at the farmer’s market and on a whim, decided to buy a head of cauliflower. This may seem pretty lame to some of you—especially those of you who put nettle chips (that you hand-picked from a field and dried yourself) on your salads—but it was pretty gutsy of me!

I don’t eat cauliflower with any regularity. I’m fairly certain my mom had some traumatic experience with cauliflower in her childhood, because we never ate it when I was little, and I have always considered it to be devoid of flavor and nutrients. I mean, what kind of vegetable is white? That can’t be normal.

I brought home my bold purchase, put it in my fridge, closed the door. What had I done? Clearly I needed to find out what exactly this thing was and how I could make it tasty.

So I did what any aspiring cook would do: I Wikipedia-ed cauliflower. I learned that it’s in the brassica oleracea family and related to broccoli and Brussel sprouts (which I love). Cauliflower has lots of vitamin C and fiber while also being low in fat and carbohydrates. Unfortunately, it does not have quite as many vitamins and nutrients as broccoli, but it’s pretty close.

Excited to try this alien vegetable, I consulted the regular resources in my kitchen (because I find the number of recipes online terrifyingly daunting): The Betty Crocker Cookbook New Edition and The Good Housekeeping Illustrated Cookbook (the exact 1980 edition my Mom has). Both had recipes involving boiling or steaming the cauliflower, followed by drenching it in fatty sauces, which sounded pretty foul. But then I remembered that my aunt had given us a cookbook for Christmas, Barefoot Contessa How Easy is That?. Inside I found a recipe for “garlic-roasted cauliflower”—and anything with garlic in the title instantly had me drooling.

I consulted the recipe. I needed:

  • 1 head of garlic, cloves separated but not peeled
  • 1 large head of cauliflower (or two small ones), trimmed, cut into large florets
  • 4 1/2 tablespoons good olive oil
  • Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • 1/4 cup minced fresh parsley
  • 3 tablespoons pine nuts, toasted
  • 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice

I didn’t have lemon juice, pine nuts, or fresh parsley, but I did have a garlic clove!

  1. Preheat your oven to 450 degrees.
  1. Bring a small pot of water to a boil and add the garlic cloves. Boil for 15 seconds. Drain, peel and cut off any brown parts. Cut the largest cloves in half lengthwise.

I preheated the oven and started the water boiling for the garlic cloves. Wait what? Boiling the garlic cloves? Unexpected invaluable lesson: boiling them for 15 seconds makes peeling them a heck of a lot easier!

I took my knife and cut off a floret (think snacking on raw broccoli size), I was getting excited about the prospect of my delectable, garlicky cauli—HOLY CRAP, THERE’S A SPIDER IN MY CAULIFLOWER!

I screamed. Actually, to be more specific, I screamed like I was five. (Side note: I have arachnophobia.) I found myself in the living room, clutching my phone, feeling very itchy, and frantically texting my fiancé to come home from work NOW and save me!

Now, I love farmer’s markets, and I understand that there is an inherent risk that my organic, pesticide free produce might have been walked over by buggies. But, there was a spider…a LIVE spider…in my cauliflower.

To help you better understand my state of mind when confronted with a surprise spider attack, these are the first things I thought:

Where are all his spider friends that must also be lurking in my produce?
How did it live in my fridge for 3 days?!
Is it a radioactive super-spider?!

[Editor’s Note: I saved you from the nightmare-inducing photo link that used to be here.]

While I was deciding if it was safe to reenter my kitchen, I started to ponder the pros and cons of continuing this cauliflower adventure. Before I could do anything though, I needed to deal with the spider.

And by deal with it, I mean I waited until my fiancé came home, thoroughly rinsed (by spraying it down with the hose outside—just kidding) and cut up the cauliflower for me. All while I stood a safe distance away…with our sharpest knife…just in case. Thankfully, he found and killed the spider. (Thanks, babe!)

He wasn’t sure that we should proceed but I decided we were going to be adults and see this through.

After satisfying ourselves that there were no more radioactive spiders, that the cauliflower was clean and edible, and that we had enough of the ingredients to make a go of it, we finally continued with the recipe:

  1. On a sheet pan, toss the cauliflower with garlic, 3 tablespoons olive oil, 2 teaspoons salt and 1 teaspoon pepper. Spread mixture out in a single layer and roast for 20 to 25 minutes, tossing twice, until the cauliflower is tender and garlic is lightly browned.

Roasting is super hot and I convinced myself that this would vaporize any potential spider buddies.

  1. Scrape the cauliflower into a large bowl with garlic and pan juices. Add remaining 1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil, parsley, pine nuts and lemon juice. Sprinkle with another 1/2 teaspoon salt, toss and serve hot or warm.

Unfortunately, because we lacked some of the ingredients, it didn’t taste all that great. But if I had, I am convinced it would have been splendiforous! I have yet to try cauliflower again but (now that I no longer consider it the mutant of the vegetable world) I intend to soon.

And since I’m still alive and writing this article, I would call it a major step forward in overcoming my arachnophobia!

Well, I still need saving…but I scream less, and not as loud.

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Photo by Elise Lundstrom

Brainfood

Your Guide to Voting in All 50 States

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It is common knowledge that, statistically, young people don’t vote. Whether it’s because we’re not registered, we don’t care, we don’t know how, or we need a refresher in civics (because we were too busy watching a bumblebee out of the window during Government class), people under the age of thirty-five, given the right to vote, often don’t exercise it.

So for those of you who are just now eligible, haven’t registered since the last election, have recently moved, or are lost in an existential crisis about the meaning of a vote, I give you our quick and dirty instructions on how to register to vote:

1) Figure out the state where you are registering

This is the state where you have your driver’s license/pay your taxes. Even if you do not live there, it is where you vote. If you’re travelling, away at school, etc., you can vote absentee (more on that later).

2) Look up your state’s process

Unfortunately, every state is a bit different, but it’s usually a very simple process. You need to do a quick search on your particular state’s rules, how long before the elections you need to register, and what registering requires. In nearly all states, there’s a registration deadline (and no, it’s almost never Election Day). You can check your state’s deadline on this handy list. (Note: A few lucky places do allow same-day registration or election-day registration, but it’s pretty uncommon.)

If you’re not sure if you’re registered, where you’re registered, or how you are registered (absentee, party preference, etc.), try one of the following:

    • Can I Vote.org can help you find out if you’re registered and where your polling place is.
    • County Registrar: Google “county registrar” with the name of your city. You should be provided with the name of your county’s “Registrar of Voters” and the website, address, and phone number of his or her’s office. Their website can help you check your registration status and/or re-register (this includes changing your address, changing your name, changing your party, or changing your vote-by-mail status). But if that gets confusing, give them a call, or take a quick drive over (they are in your county).

If you just need to register:

    • See above for your County Registrar.
    • State Election Board: You can also get a voter registration form from your State Election Board. You can find a complete list of all of the State Election Boards here.
    • State Registrar: If your state doesn’t provide an easily accessible form, you can use this national registration form and send it to your state Registrar’s office (follow the Googling procedures above with “state registrar” and your state).
    • If all this online stuff is super confusing and you just want to fill out a paper form, visit your nearest local library or post office.

On all of these websites, look for any “Register to Vote” buttons or FAQ that can help you navigate the process.

You CAN register online, but remember you still have to print out the form, sign it, and mail it to your state Registrar.  Make sure you leave time to mail the form before the registration deadline!

3) Register!

Don’t worry, I’ll wait…

4) Find out if your state has early voting / Apply for an absentee ballot

Many states/counties allow you to vote up to a few weeks early to avoid the sometimes-crazy lines that amass on Election Day. Early voting is often significantly more convenient, so go ahead and see if it’s an option for you through your State Election Board.

If you are going to be out-of-state for the election, apply for an absentee ballot. Again, you can check your State Election Board’s website to find out the specifics. Just remember, this will take more time, as it requires mailing and such, so don’t wait too long. Double check if your state will allow you to drop off your ballot at a polling place on Election Day (allowing you to both procrastinate and get a super awesome “I Voted” sticker).

5) Find your polling place

Usually the address of your polling place will come in the mail with your voter registration card (if your state doesn’t send cards, check the back of your sample ballot, or see step #2) a few weeks after you register or a few weeks before the election.

6) Do your research

Once you are registered, you might receive a Voter Information Guide from your Registrar with information about the candidates as well as propositions, initiatives and referendums.

If you tend to not keep up with local news and politics, you may want to do some research on your local elections as well. Often a good place to start is your local news, as they tend to profile local candidates and run stories on them close to the election.

If you don’t get the newspaper  (or it doesn’t show up in an easy Google search) and local TV news isn’t your thing, smartvoter.org is also a very useful, nonpartisan site for information on local, state, and federal elections.

7) Vote!

We’ve reached the most important step. Don’t forget! The next election is November 6th—mark your calendar now.

Now you are all set to influence the laws of our land. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, everyone’s vote matters in the end. You can help to change the statistics. After all, you likely pay taxes and possibly student loans, you may own a home or have kids, and eventually you could decide to retire. Today’s lawmakers influence all of this and more. Do something to influence them.

Go. Vote.

voting

Photo by Meaghan Morrison

Money

FML: My Stolen Wallet

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It was like any other Saturday—I got off work, ate a snack, then flopped into bed. This particular evening, I was dozing off when my phone buzzed with a text from Chase Fraud, “Did you purchase $300 at a shoe store?” Uh, no.

Getting your wallet stolen is a bitch.

The damage: a hundred dollars cash, my driver’s license, a debit card, my birth certificate (with my social security number written on the back), a sticky note with both my checking and savings account numbers scribbled on it, and various other cards (including my car insurance/registration, my voter registration card, my AAA card, several gift cards, and an old student ID).

The Bank

My first step was to report the fraudulent charges to Chase. The cool thing about their fraud service (which might be true for other national banks) is when they text you about a possible fraudulent charge, if you say, “Yes it’s fraudulent,” they automatically call you. If your bank is not this fancy, you can find customer service numbers online or on your bank statements.

At first, I got the standard pre-recorded voice (wanting either my card number or my account number for verification) but after about a minute I was directed to a real human being. The woman asked me for my address (more verification) and then to confirm which charges were fraudulent. She listed off the last five or so, but I had to log into my online account to see exactly what she was talking about. There were three fraudulent charges: $50 at a gas station, $300 at FootLocker, and $30 at a nail salon. She flagged the charges, canceled my card, and informed me that a new one was on its way.

As for reversing the charges, she told me it would only take about 12 hours for a refund to be posted to my account, but this was not entirely true. The two smaller charges were credited to my account the next morning, but the $300 charge from FootLocker was not. Now this delay isn’t necessarily the banks fault, they have to work with the stores (who may or may not be open and/or challenge the charges). So, if you’re making a claim on the weekend, don’t be surprised if the credits/debits don’t clear until Monday or Tuesday. Overall, the call took about 15 minutes and was pretty painless.

Now if you’re smarter than I am, you won’t put your actual account numbers in your wallet. If the thief had just gotten my debit card, I could have reported it stolen and just waited for a replacement in the mail. But, since we’ve established I’m kind of an idiot, I had to go to my local branch and switch over all my accounts instead.

The guy who helped me told me that my situation was not uncommon and was very helpful. He created new checking and savings accounts for me and transferred over all my money. He kept the old accounts open, but frozen, so only deposits could be made. (This is so that you can be reimbursed for the fraudulent charges.) It shouldn’t cost any money to do this and, if you have one, bring your passport (or some form of identification, i.e. your social security card or birth certificate etc.) Or better yet, call ahead and find out what identification they need.

The Police

After I got off the phone with Chase, I called the police to file an incident report. This meant, about an hour later, an officer showed up at my house to take my statement and give me an identity theft packet with lots of helpful (and scary) information. I gave him a copy of my bank statement (printed off the Internet) because I had noticed that all the purchases were made at local stores. The officer told me this would help tremendously. Now a detective had specific stores to check, along with the exact purchase amounts. But, because my work place (which is where we’d determined the theft had occurred) doesn’t have cameras, getting the thief on camera, at one of these stores, was the only way to identify him or her.

The Credit Bureaus

Next up, I checked my credit report with each of the three major credit bureaus—Equifax, Experion, and TransUnion. (Did I know there were three credit bureaus before this fiasco? I did not.) Luckily, I discovered that www.annualcreditreport.com allows you to check all three bureaus at once, which eased the pain a little. I put in my name and social security number. Then I was prompted to answer really random yet oddly specific questions that only I should know. Things like “Where did I live before 2000?” and “How much money did I make in 2010?” Don’t worry, it’s multiple choice.

You should not have to pay to get your credit report. (There could be a fee if you’ve already checked your report in the past year, but if it’s been more than 12 months, you should be fine.) Credit scores typically cost, but reports should not. Reports are mostly for record keeping purposes and so that you can see if anyone’s stolen your identity in the future. I gave the reports a once over, everything checked out so I saved a digital copy and printed another one out for good measure.

Technically you should call each credit bureau and let them know your information has been stolen. I didn’t do this because the credit bureaus can’t stop identity theft and I was 99% sure that this was a punk kid who just wanted my money, not my identity.

The DMV

Getting a new license is like getting your old one, you wait in line, fill out a piece of paper, and get your picture taken—which I still had to shell out $9 for. Replacing my voter registration card was free. Fortunately, I did not need another copy of my car registration, but if you do, just have your license plate number with you.

The Rest

Cash and gift cards are just gone, they’re never coming back.

I don’t have credit cards, but if you do, approach it like you’re dealing with the bank. Also, I can’t speak for getting new insurance documents (because I had duplicates), but I would suggest calling your provider and going from there.

The document that continues to keep me up at night is my short form birth certificate. It’s the size of a credit card, and contains my name, birthday, and the city I was born in, embossed with a government seal. This document alone could do some serious damage, but I also wrote my social security number on the back of it because I’m a genius. If someone really wanted to be malicious, they’d have everything they needed (driver’s license, birth certificate, SSN) to steal my identity. I know it seems convenient and portable to have your life in one place, but for your own sanity, don’t be like me. Bad things happen, minimize the damage.

The police still haven’t caught the thief.

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Photo by Meaghan Morrison

Home, Style

No Dryer? No Problem.

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I don’t know about you, but I am constantly plagued with wet or damp clothing that I never have enough time to deal with. I always seem to be out of time with a dryer that is nonexistent, broken, taken, or—like in my last apartment—seemingly incapable of drying clothing.

So, in the absence of self-drying clothing, I present you with the following five dryer alternatives for your dryer emergencies:

1. Direct Sunlight

The old school method: lay/drape/hang your clothes out in the sun and watch the magic happen! And by watch I mean go do anything else for six hours because—depending on the amount of sunshine, humidity levels, and temperature—this approach can be painfully slow. Keep an eye on the sun (remember it moves) and make sure to rotate (and/or flip over) your clothes at least once.

If you want to get fancy, use a clothesline. You might be able to find one in your backyard if you live in an older house/apartment building, but if not you can always jerry-rig one out of chairs/trees/fences/poles and some string/shoelaces/ribbons/computer cords. Then drape or clip your wet apparel on the line and let Mother Nature do her work. No super cheap clothespins lying around?  Binder clips, chip clips, and hair claws make for great alternatives.

2. Fan

While the outdoors is always best for maximum wind/sun exposure, if you’re without a yard, balcony, or trustworthy neighbors, you can also take advantage of the sunshine within your home and speed up the process with your favorite fan(s). Personally, I like to use hangers and a metal clothesline (aka my shower rod) or an awesome drying rack. But if that doesn’t cut it just hang your clothes on, or tucked into, other ledges around your home (i.e. dresser drawers, door handles, moldings). NEVER drape wet clothing over lamps. (Let’s just say, I’ve tried it… Two words: burn marks.)

The advantage of this method is that it does not require the sun (making it your best overnight option) and it is entirely environment controlled. Unfortunately, if you’re drying a lot of clothes, this method can take quite a bit of time. If I need dry clothes within an hour or two, I take a more direct approach: draping the clothes straight on to my fan. (This is probably definitely a fire hazard so I’m not recommending it.) Instead, try hanging what you need on the back of a chair, and pointing your fan directly at it to produce the same results.

3. Blow Dryer

You’ll need to own a blow dryer to embrace this option—so guys, you may be out of luck. This is my go to option under pressure—fast, efficient, and effective. It is, however, more labor intensive than any of the other methods. But it can also be a great approach for dealing with any unfortunate liquid mishaps. This will work with your clothes on or off, but for very damp clothing, off is better. I usually stick my blower right into an arm or leg, hold the other end closed, and let it fill up with air, rotating between sections every 10-15 seconds to make sure nothing burns. But again: fire hazard. So instead, let’s both try hanging our clothes in the shower and following the tips recommended by Wardrobe Advice.

4. Heater

This works better in the winter months because let’s be honest, no matter how badly you need that shirt, who wants to turn on the heat in July? (Plus, if it’s summer, umm sun?) I find the heater has a significant set it and forget it advantage over the blow dryer because, as long as you position your clothes just right (or weigh them down) to keep them from blowing off, you can enjoy your cereal from across the room. (Keeping an eye on them for rotation and safety of course.) This method is also especially effective for larger, or heavier articles of clothing (i.e. jeans).

5. Car Heater

Does it really get better than your own personal, traveling dryer? If you own a car, and are absolutely desperate, this may be your best option under extreme time pressure.

First, check and see if your car has a heater vent in the center console (the vent for the back seat). If so, drape your article of clothing in front of the vent (rotating every few minutes for maximum coverage) and voila! Your very own on-the-go dryer.

But, if you’re like me, and don’t have a handy back seat vent, you’re stuck with the dashboard vents. MAKE SURE you take the appropriate precautions for your personal safety and the safety of others before trying this—i.e. don’t be stupid and hold the shirt on your heater while you are driving.

In the above photo, I used a handy expanding file folder (while driving in a straight line) to keep my desperately needed shirt in place. This is clearly not the safest option. Think about using clothespins (or any of the above clothespins alternatives) to keep your clothing attached instead. There is a rotation factor here, so please PULL OVER (or make sure you are stopped) when you rotate your clothing. No dryer emergency is worth a car accident.

Bonus Tip: Need to get wrinkles out?  Hang up your shirt up as close to the shower as you can without getting it wet. Turn the water on to the hottest setting, close the bathroom door, and let the steam give you a wrinkle free shirt in about ten minutes.

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Photo by Anastasia Heuer

Disclaimer: This article is meant for your entertainment. You can read the UNDERenlightened’s full disclaimer in our User Agreement.

Food

Reusing that Jar: Making Whipped Cream

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Okay, let me get this out of the way right now: I’m kind of a hippie. Ok, I am a hippie. I live without a microwave, a working dishwasher, or a hand mixer. I also love to cook. Being a poor grad student, and a little low-tech, but still wanting to try out the latest recipe for mint-lemon crème brûlée (or whatever Martha Stewart is up to these days) means I have to get a little creative in the kitchen.

Whipped cream is one of those delicious accents of sweetness that makes nearly any dessert go from good to mind-blowing. If you’ve ever had homemade whipped cream, then you know it tastes way better than whatever you can squirt out of a can. So, how on earth did Mom, or Aunt Josie, or Grandpa Steve, ever get cream to fluff like the clouds baby angels live on? They probably used an electric mixer. But I’ll tell you a secret: You can use a mason jar instead. (Extra bonus: buffed arms!)

Yes. That’s right. A mason jar. You know, like a jam jar, one of those things that all the hipster kids (including me) are using as drinking glasses and vases right now? They totally make great travel mugs, flower vases, containers for leftovers, and pencil holders… but that’s another article. Or five.

Back to whipped cream—let’s talk about how this works:

What you need:

  • One (clean!) mason jar (or an old tomato sauce jar, applesauce jar, or really any glass jar with a tightly sealing lid)
  • A freezer
  • Heavy whipping cream (often sold in pints, like the mini milk cartons you used to get in elementary school)
  • Powdered sugar (totally optional, often labeled “confectioner’s sugar”)
  • Vanilla extract (also totally optional)

What to do:

1. Put your clean glass jar in the freezer—with the lid off—for 15 to 20 minutes before you need to make the whipped cream. (This step isn’t entirely necessary, but it’ll help your cream get fluffier faster.)

2. Take the jar out of the freezer and fill it no more than halfway full with cream. If you fill it more than halfway, the cream won’t have enough room to expand and won’t reach its optimum fluffiness.

3. Here’s where you can add the powdered sugar and vanilla if you’d like. A tablespoon of powdered sugar should be plenty, but it depends on how sweet you want it to be. (No measuring spoons? A tablespoon comes out to be about as much as a rounded average spoonful.) A teaspoon of vanilla extract is enough (about 1/4 of an average spoonful).

4. Now the exercise comes in! (Who said dessert can’t be healthy?) Screw the lid tightly onto the jar, and shake shake shake, shake shake shake, shake that… jar. Vigorously. (Make sure the lid is securely screwed on, otherwise you could end up in the whipped cream version of the Marine World splash zone.) You can even take turns with friends—passing around a jar of cream and making Shake Weight jokes is an excellent way to wait for those brownies to finish baking.

5. The time it takes for your cream to become fluffy goodness depends on how hard you shake that thang and the size of your jar. You’ll know it’s getting close when the cream coats the sides of the jar and makes it hard to tell how full it is.

6. Check after 5 minutes or so of quality shaking, and every few minutes after that. A larger jar—like a quart jar or an applesauce jar—can take a little longer. It’s whipped cream when it’s so fluffy that it doesn’t pour or drip out of a spoon easily. (Sometimes I’m impatient, and I only wait till it’s fluffy but still pourable—a great option if you’re serving it over fruit, ice cream, or pudding, etc.)

Editor’s Note: In an effort to fulfill our goal of road testing some of our articles (and because whipped cream in a jar is ridiculously delicious), Elise and I attempted to follow Heather’s instructions. We discovered that over shaking can lead to undesirable (and inedible) curdling. (Not to be confused with curling—a winter sport popular in Canada.) This can happen quite suddenly. Be careful to check your cream every 15 seconds or so after it starts to coat the sides of your jar. (Seriously, don’t over shake. When you think it’s done—STOP! We can tell you, bickering over the appropriate fluffiness level does not end well.)

7. If you need more whipped cream, spoon and scrape what you’ve got out of the jar into a bowl, wash the jar, and repeat until you have enough for everyone.

8. Enjoy!

What-ifs:

  • If you have leftover whipped cream: store it in the jar or another airtight Tupperware-style container in the fridge. It’ll keep for a few days, but will be iffy after more than a week. Besides, who can let whipped cream sit for that long without devouring it?
  • If you don’t use your heavy whipping cream before the “use by” date: you’re outta luck. I tried freezing my heavy whipping cream once… it was in a glass bottle, and I opened the freezer to find the bottle cracked and frozen to the cream. Then I tried defrosting the cream, even straining out the shards of glass, in an effort to salvage the situation. (I would not recommend this.) It ended up being something in between butter and milk and not all whippable.
  • If you want to get fancy with your whipped cream: go ahead! Experiment with adding a dash of cinnamon or nutmeg when you add the sugar and/or vanilla. (A dash is one shake of the spice jar, if it has a lid with little holes, OR a mound—a little smaller than the size of a dime—in your palm.)
whippedcream

Photo by Meaghan Morrison

Style

Wax on Wax off: The Bikini Wax

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Many women hear the words “bikini wax” and cringe, blush, and/or clutch at their nether regions. A visceral reaction to hot wax and hair removal “down there” is expected, but a bikini wax isn’t something to be feared—it can be life changing. If you’ve ever been curious as to how to go about getting a bikini wax, let’s break it down:

I’ve been to many waxing places in my days and have had a multitude of experiences, and it takes some trial and error to find a place you like. Don’t underestimate the power of Yelp. Type in “bikini wax” to find reviews of good places in your location. I go to a special waxing-only salon in Beverly Hills, but I’ve found most hair salons and nail salons also have waxing beauticians. Spas also have waxing options, but I’ve found they’re usually overpriced and under-trained. Once, you’ve found a salon, call and book your appointment just like you would schedule a haircut.

What kind of bikini wax do you want?

Yes, there are KINDS. The different choices refer to the amount of hair being waxed off: Do you want it all gone? Mostly gone? Or just cleaned up a little? If this is your first bikini wax, I’d recommend starting off slow. Remember, if you’ve been shaving (or au natural) the hair has a very old root, so—I’m not going to lie to you—it’ll hurt. I recommend going for a standard bikini wax, just a bit off the sides and top. (You can always go back and remove more.) Or if you’re feeling more advanced, try a full bikini wax with a landing strip (which is exactly what it sounds like), or go bald and get a Brazilian (my personal preference). Remember, if you get too ambitious, and belatedly decide a Brazilian’s not for you, the greatest (or worst) thing about hair is that it grows back. Cost wise, the more hair you wax off, the more you’ll have to pay. Ranging from about $20-$50.

Do you have to do anything to prep?

If you already do your own personal maintenance, let your hair grow out to at least a half an inch, so there is enough to wax. If you’ve never groomed in your life, that’s totally fine, just make sure to tell your aesthetician (aka waxer). Remember: the more frequently you wax, the less and finer your hair will grow back, making it easier on both you and your waxer.

Regardless of your prior maintenance, when you meet your waxer, make sure you tell them that this is your first bikini wax. They’ll help minimize the pain for you by waxing faster in smaller sections. It’s their job; they don’t want you to suffer through it!

Take some steps to ease the pain:

  • Strategically schedule your appointment. Try not to get waxed the week before or after your period, as you’re more sensitive to pain during that time. Also, keep in mind that your pain threshold goes up as the day goes on, so be sure to schedule your appointment is in the late afternoon when your tolerance is at its highest.
  • Take an Advil or two about 45 minutes before waxing to help reduce your pain.

What does one wear to get a bikini wax?

My bikini wax shy friends always think the most embarrassing part is stripping down and having someone prod around their business. The most important thing to remember is: your waxer has been seen it all before—they are professionals, this is is their job. But, if you are still nervous, there are ways to get around total exposure. If you decide to go for a standard bikini wax, you can leave your undies on, which is why I recommend it for first timers, who are most likely to be intimidated by getting naked. But for those of you willing to go all the way, I’d suggest wearing a dress, or something similar, that won’t require you to feel so exposed. It’s good to let yourself “breathe” post-wax and a dress is great for that, too!

How long will it take?

Bikini waxes are quick (fifteen to twenty minutes) so you won’t be naked for long. But if you think you will feel super self-conscious, bring a distraction. Phones are the easiest, in my opinion. When I first started off, I would read on my phone and be done before I’d even read through a single chapter.

What do you do afterwards?

No sex, working out, or wearing leggings for the first day after your wax. All three can hurt and cause ingrown hairs because of the amount of friction against your baby-soft new skin.

But the best part? Don’t worry about booking another appointment for another 4-6 weeks, depending on how fast your hair grows. That means that two bikini waxes will suffice for an entire summer! (Compare that to shaving twice a week.) Efficient, right?

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Photo by Meaghan Morrison

Home

Why You Should Own a Plunger

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Why don’t you own a plunger? No, seriously, why in whatever-you-think-is-holy’s name don’t you own one?

Are you scared that you might actually have to use it?

Let’s be honest: everyone has a different digestive system and maybe you know what’s best for your needs in your humble abode, but there are people out there (ahem, me!) without the luxury of a happy stomach. And we visit you. And sometimes we eat cheese or ice cream or butter. Don’t underestimate the number of lactose intolerants in your life. There are a lot of us out there, and we’re here to tell you: GET A DAMN PLUNGER!

If I’m at someone’s house or apartment, before I sit down (and yes, I sit, every time), if I don’t have a visual check on a plunging apparatus, I get performance anxiety. Even if it’s only number one.

There is no good reason not to have one. Plus, they can be very useful, not only for the expected reason, but for other household issues. I’ve used mine to unclog an unruly kitchen sink after the garbage disposal cut out. Trust me, no matter how much you love your disposal, your disposal does not love potato or cucumber skins. Remember this the next time you’re making potato latkes. And keep the plunger handy.

For those of you who are just hearing about a plunger for the first time and have NO clue how to use it. Here’s a quick how-to:

  • You will need to engage your plunging skills if the water level in your toilet is very low or very high. Basically any extreme water level will need your services.
  • Raise the toilet seat and place the plunger inside the base of the bowl. Do slow, up and down motions, pushing the rubber section in and out. The water should go down to a very small amount.
  • Time to flush! Repeat the above steps as necessary.
  • Post plunger cleaning etiquette: Put the plunger back in the clean toilet water and flush! If your plunger requires further cleaning, try the tips recommended by eHow. They recommend pouring two cups of white vinegar in your toilet bowl before putting the plunger back in the water.

So, now that I’ve explained how to use a plunger and successfully convinced those of you who don’t own one to head out to your local Home Depot, Target, or Dollar Tree (yes!) and pick one up, let me tell you some signs of an adequate one:

  • Do not buy a plunger that looks like it’s for a five year old. The handle should stand at least 2 feet tall. Meaning you shouldn’t have to bend to pick it up. Those mini space-saving toilet tidy-ers will only cause more drama than is already at hand.
  • Don’t buy the cheapest one at the store. Unless you’re totally broke, this is just asking for trouble.
  • If you live on the East Coast, you will most likely need a more industrial-strength plunger. Those pipes are way too old to handle our oversized food–obsessed culture.
  • If you live in Middle America, or on the West Coast, your standard $10-$15 plunger should do.
  • Buy a pretty plunger. Try to have it “go” with your décor. Because why not?
  • Mine has a black base and clear, spindled handle. It’s elegant, yet efficient.
  • Lastly, display this thing right where everyone can see it. Next to the toilet, where it belongs. No hiding-it-under-the-sink-business. And there should be one in every bathroom—otherwise your party guests are going to have to go snooping around and eventually will have to ask for your help. WE DON’T WANT YOUR HELP. EVER. Let us plunge in peace.

Look, you can either heed my advice, go out and buy a plunger and welcome the many thanks of your friends, OR you don’t. It’s your choice. But everyone needs a best friend and your toilet is lonely. And shit gets messy. Pun intended.

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Photo by Meaghan Morrison

Money

Thinking About Your Money

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Once you reach your twenties, you’re expected to know a lot of things. You’ve gotten to a point where you are expected to know how to work, feed, and clothe yourself—but having an actual plan for your paychecks may not be something you’ve figured out yet. We all have a sense of the lifestyle we want to live—whether that’s buying a house, starting a business, or traveling the world—but often we don’t spend enough time on the road map that will actually get us there.

Financial planning is a subject that young people are often uncomfortable with. There are so many technical terms you’re magically supposed to understand—but what if no one ever told you which ones really matter? I get it. I went to school for design, and no one was teaching me how to make the most from my money.

Luckily, my parents understood that this is confusing for those of us just starting out and were able to answer most of my questions. So, the advice I lay out here comes to you from someone who was a novice but has learned a lot recently by making small but important changes to the way I think about my money. This stuff is scary—you’re making decisions about large amounts of money. But it would be scarier to turn 30—or worse, 40—and realize you really have no plan in place to make sure you can buy a house, help your kids through college, take a year to travel the world, or retire before you’re 80.

This is the first of five articles about the basics of dealing with your finances in your twenties. To start, you should be thinking about your money in categories—four categories to be exact. Four categories that are used to buy different things at different times in your life. And because they’re used at different times, for different reasons, they all live in different places. Right now we are going to go over these categories so you can keep the big picture in mind. Each of the next four articles will go in depth with one of the categories so you feel comfortable going out and making informed decisions with your money.

So let’s get into it. Oh! But before we do, if you want to make this as painless as possible, you might want to save (or maybe even print) the following chart.

All right, here we go. The first category you should think about your money in is Immediate Spending. This is the one you probably already have down pat. This is what’s in your checking account, the money that you will need within a year. This is what you use to pay your rent, bills and buy food from as well as those concert tickets you want and the new glasses you’ll need after you break your glasses at the concert. My post will focus on budgeting and my favorite way to keep track of my money painlessly.

The second category is Short-Term Spending. This is money for 1-5 years away. If you have a savings account, you already have a start on this one. But… you might not really use it for savings. It’s just… you know, that other account. While a savings account works here, I’m going to suggest thinking about a Money Market Account (which is practically the same) and/or CDs (certificate of deposit). Both simply give you higher APY (annual percentage yield, or interest rate), meaning you make more money by simply putting your money in the right place. This money is spent if you need to put a deposit down on an apartment or a new car, want to travel for a few months or in case you get unexpectedly laid off from work.

The third category is Long-Term Spending. This is the money you use to buy a house and start a family, start your own business, or to go back to school. You want to feel confident that you will not need to touch this money until 5 to 40 years from now. You want to invest this money in the stock market and/or in bonds. For all our sanity, when we talk about the stock market, we’re going to keep it to investing in mutual funds and individual stocks. Yes, the stock market can definitely seem scary, but I promise to make it as simple as I can.

The last category is Retirement. Please don’t neglect this one, guys. It’s such an easy one, and starting early has an enormous impact on how much money you retire with. This is the money for all expenses you will have post-retirement. It goes into a 401k, an IRA (individual retirement account), a Roth IRA—or some combination of these.

Okay, those are the basics. Four categories of money for four different types of spending. We will go in-depth with each category in each of the next four articles. Hopefully, by the end of this series, you’ll have a better understanding of how to start plotting your financial road map. I promise, no matter how little you have to save it isn’t as hard as it seems. Once you plot your road map, you’ll be well on your way.

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Photo by Meaghan Morrison

News

Welcome to the UNDERenlightened

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A few months ago, a friend of mine invited me over for dinner. I can easily say that this particular friend is one of the smartest people I know, so when she told me that she had gotten her license suspended for forgetting to pay a cell phone ticket, I was—well, shocked. She’d assumed someone would mail her the ticket, and when they didn’t… Sure enough six months later, she was pulled over for something arbitrary and informed that not only was her license suspended, she also had a giant unpaid fine. Oops.

The thing is, I had absolutely no room to talk. Just the year before, I had found myself in a similar situation. Who knew you needed to call the gas company after you moved into a new apartment? (A fact I’d managed to miss in all my previous apartments.) Turns out saying, “What do you mean? You don’t just send me a bill?” doesn’t magically turn your hot water, heater, or stove back on… for a week! I definitely learned that lesson.

I shared this story with my friend and we both felt profoundly less dumb. Then I asked her, “Wouldn’t it be awesome if there was a place where people could share all these stories, so that other people could learn from them before they made the same mistakes?”

And the UNDERenlightened was born.

Our mission is to create a community that is universal and personal, where knowledge and experiences can be shared without assumption—a place for all the things life forgot to teach you.

We are a community of writers, dreamers, and thinkers committed to the belief that, through sharing our individual experiences and knowledge, we are creating a place where no one has to feel embarrassed, scared, or overwhelmed about anything they do not yet know.

Together, we will share our stories, life lessons, and how-tos so that we can help to enlighten one another.

Here’s how we are going to do this:

Enlightenment should be accessible to everyone no matter their age or experience level.

It’s time to stop pretending like we have a handle on this whole adulthood thing. No one has it all figured out! There are hundreds, thousands, millions of things we don’t know about life and, personally, I wouldn’t mind a little help.

We aim to throw out the assumption that, at any age, you should already know how to do something. We want to be a resource that makes no presumptions about our community’s prior knowledge. Our articles are designed to make allowances for even the most UNDERenlightened readers. We make no judgments. We are your allies. And if we are giving you instructions on how to hang a large picture frame, we’re not going to assume you have a tool kit. Instead, we’ll very nicely point you towards this $7.99 set at Ikea.

The power of shared knowledge and experience can make life just a little bit easier.

Let’s say you get locked out of your apartment tonight. Oh sure, you think you know what to do: “I’ll just Google a locksmith. — But, wait, crap: my phone is inside my locked apartment. Ok, that doesn’t matter, I’ll call someone on a pay phone. We still have those right? How do I find one? And when I do, whom do I call?”

We believe the best way to learn is from each other, through our follies and our triumphs. One shared horror story that answered all—or even just some—of those questions could save the rest of us a world of potential misery. (Good thing one of our contributing writers already has had three different lockout experiences she can draw from! You can read her advice here.)

Learning should be fun, mistakes should be funny, and lessons should be valuable.

There are plenty of other how-to resources out there, and if you want to read a formulaic article about how to use bleach, go to About.com. But we know stumbling through this whole adulthood thing can get pretty ridiculous, so if you want to read about the sardonic experiences of a self-admitted first-time bleach user trying to follow those About.com instructions, you’ve come to the right place.

Our enlightenment should be tested and questioned.

If enlightenment was straightforward, we wouldn’t be here. To ensure that we are providing our community with the best enlightenment possible, we will periodically ask an UNDERenlightened writer to try out one of our how-tos and publish a follow-up. We also encourage you to test our how-tos and tell us about it!

The UNDERenlightened is first and foremost a community and we are here to help each other.

Want to suggest something for us to talk about? Use our NEEDenlightenment? form and let us know! From the silly to the serious, if you don’t know how to do it, we’re here to help.

Have something that you want to share? Join the UNDERenlightened team!

The other day, while I was trying to answer one of the eight million questions I was facing, I thought, “I SO wish I had an UNDERenlightened article for running the UNDERenlightened.“ Daily, we come across ideas for articles—how to tie a tie, how to get a bikini wax, and what to say to a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer—are just a few of the things you are going to see over the coming weeks. Last month, one of our writers had her wallet stolen. As terrible as this is, my first thought (and text) was, “OMG, you can write an UNDERenlightened article about that!” (Keep an eye out for that early next week.)

Thank you for taking the time to check us out. I am so proud of the articles you are going to be seeing over the coming months and of the team that is behind them. I hope you learn as much as we have from their experiences. We know we can’t prepare you for all of life’s hurdles, but we can try to make some of them a little bit easier to jump.

Relationships

How to Get a Number

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I know getting a number can sound like such a daunting task. You’re basically telling a complete stranger that you like what you’re seeing and you want to see more of it. But if you’re prepared, getting a number can actually be a thrilling and non-threatening experience!

Step one is to accept the previous sentence as true. (Consider what it must be like to water-ski in white-water rapids while standing on the back of a bear. Now go back and re-read the above sentence. See what I mean? Thrilling and non-threatening!) If you think that getting a number is scary and impossible, it will be scary and impossible. If you think that it’s no big deal, it will be no big deal. Like many situations in life, the key to success is having confidence in your ability to go out there, be fabulous, and get those digits!

Building that confidence is different for different people and different situations, but when it comes to getting a number, the easiest way to boost your confidence quickly is to look awesome. (Let’s be honest—no matter how awesome you are, the first thing a person will notice about you is your appearance simply because they will be looking at you before talking to you.)

Some quick tips for looking awesome are:

  • Know where you are going and dress accordingly. If you are going to a dive bar, dress casually. If you are going somewhere hip, wear something cooler. It’s easiest to go places that fit in with your personal aesthetic because you will be more comfortable with the surroundings and more likely to meet people like you. Also, it’s easier to feel confident if you are comfortable.
  • Give yourself adequate time to get ready. I’ve always found it’s difficult to feel good about the way I look if I didn’t have time to do my hair just right or if I feel sloppy because I was rushed.

As superficial as that may sound, when people feel like they look good, they get a certain glow about them that is very magnetic.

Once you feel good about the way you look, you should start pumping yourself up by thinking about how great you are. You’re funny, you have a cool job, you’re easy to talk to. Whatever you love about yourself should be in the forefront of your mind, and whatever you are not-so-thrilled about should be pushed aside for now. Overconfidence is underrated.

Finally, you look hot and feel good, and you’ve made it to the bar with your friends. Take a few moments to scope out the scene to see what you’re dealing with. Chances are there are plenty of good-looking people all around you (because they’ve all already followed the first two steps, duh).

Before going off and finding the one you want to land, take some time to hang out with your friends. You’re obviously out with them for a reason (you like them, right?) so enjoy being with them. Don’t talk about anything too heavy because remember—even though you’re now focusing on your friends, others are scoping at all times. You don’t want anyone to be scoping you while your friends are comforting you over the bad week you just unloaded on them. Try to keep the mood light by talking about positive things, like the fun project you are starting or the hysterical thing that happened at work. Having engaging conversation within your group and laughing with friends will show those scopers that you are a fantastic person to hang out with.

While talking with your friends, you may have noticed someone looking over at you or found someone you want to notice you. Try to catch their eye. Looking someone in the eye signals to that person that you notice them and want to notice more.

When you do catch their eye, make sure your face isn’t expressionless or creepy. Try to lightly turn up the corners of your lips (like a closed-mouth smile, but not a blatant/eager smile) and keep your eyes aware and knowing. This look signals to that person that you notice them noticing you back and you accept their gaze.

Continue having fun with your friends for a little bit longer, but position yourself so that you can be approached by someone if someone so desires. Since it’s hard for anyone to go up to a group of strangers to talk to one person, excuse yourself to use the bathroom or get a drink so you can separate from your group and make yourself available for a little bit. On your way back, if you have not already been approached, consider what the person is doing. Standing by the bar? Go stand at the bar too. Relaxing on the couch? Go take a breather. Dancing? Dance! (Of course, if you are going to dance, feel free to bring your friends.)

Most importantly: don’t feel weird about approaching anyone. You look hot and feel good about yourself, so let your confidence guide you. The hardest part is getting the first sentence out of your mouth, but once that first sentence is out you are golden! Next, just remember to end everything you say with a question about them. (People can always talk about themselves because they obviously know a lot on the subject. Not only does it make a person feel smart to consistently know the answers to your questions, but your interest in this person is very flattering.) Even though the first line is the hardest to get out, luckily it can be very simple: “Hi there, how’s it going?” Friendly, fresh and cool.

Even if you only get a one-word response back, “good,” let them know that you are doing well also and follow-up with another question: “Yeah, this is a really cool bar. It’s not my usual scene, but I like the vibe! My friends recommended it. How did you end up here tonight?” Soon enough the questions will be reciprocated and you will have a solid conversation going.

(Pro tip: smile during the entire conversation. A person will automatically mirror the expression of the person they are looking at, even if only for a moment, and when that person smiles back it will (a) make you feel good about yourself, and (b) tell that person’s brain that they, too, are enjoying the current situation.)

Once you decide that you actually do want to know this person, asking for a number becomes a natural progression. Worst-case scenario: they say no. Despite the rarity of getting a no, you need to approach it like it’s no sweat off your back. Look around you; there are lots of other potential yeses. Don’t sound too desperate or eager, just keep it simple: “Hey, it was great meeting you. I’m going to get back to my friends but I’d love to get your number.” They can’t resist your cool, confident, fun self and respond, “Yeah totally! It’s 555-555-5555.”

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Photo by Meaghan Morrison