Category Archives: Food

So You Want to Throw a Dinner Party

My friends and I are entering the period of our lives where we have spaces with significant others, few to no roommates, and the horrible decision of owning a dining table for more than three people and a pile of books. Dinner for two or four isn’t such a big hassle, but when everyone wants to come over, eat, drink, and play games it can start to get out of hand.

The Guests

How many of your friends can you comfortably seat? Whether it’s around your dining table or apartment, it’s better to be able to provide a chair so that everyone can eat at the same time. Are these people who will get along? Will they hover in the kitchen? Consider who makes a great guest for eating—they’re not always the same people you want to have over for drinks or dancing. Keep the number of guests reasonable for noise too. It can be hard to yell over people, and too many people can make that a challenge. Start small!

The Table

Put all your leaves in. Adding the extra space in later for plates, napkins, glasses, platters of food, finished plates, and assorted elbows will be a godsend when you’re in the middle of cooking and entertaining. My boyfriend and I like placemats, as they’re easy to clean (throw them in the wash with your clothes), and they give a visual space for where everyone should sit and put all their eating crap. Set out dishes in advance too, along with flatware and glasses. It’s nice to not have to scramble for everything at the last second, or have to direct guests where to get their utensils and plates while you’re finishing up the meal. I like to not assign seats, because two of your guests might be having a great conversation that you would’ve never considered, and now they want to talk all night about it (but no one else does).

The Food

What’s easy for you to make? Can you do a lot of it? Sometimes I get into the trap of thinking that Dish A would go really well with Dish B, with a side of Dish C. But all of these plates are hard work or require recipes I’ve never really done before—and when everyone is waiting for their food, scrambling to make sure that your food is edible (and hopefully tasty) is probably the worst thing to worry about. So, keep it small and easy! I’m guilty of generally not following this on a day-to-day basis: I like to look up recipes that sound delicious, try to make it for a few people, and fail miserably. When I’m going to entertain, I definitely try to keep it simple.

Start with an appetizer that takes a very little preparation, maybe something you can do in the morning or the night before. Salads are an easy choice: throw some mixed greens with a relatively neutral dressing or even serve the dressing on the side. Add tomatoes, fresh fruit slices, or nuts to add texture to the salad. Alternatively, soups are easy to make earlier in the day or the night before. Just bring it up to simmer and serve hot with some fresh bread. If either of these is too much work, you can always settle with a cheese platter—put some bricks of cheese on a wooden cutting board with some knives and crackers, maybe a few slices of cured meats. Personally, I like crostini types of snacks. Get a nice baguette and slice it into thin rounds. Brush with olive oil or butter and toast in your oven until crispy. Top with a bit of cheese, or meat, or a spread of your choice. A bit of smoked salmon, herb cream cheese, and a sprinkle of chives makes it perfect for me.

As for the entree, what’s good for everyone? Ignoring dietary restrictions, fish and chicken are pretty easy to just throw in the oven, pull it out, and serve when it’s time. I like to go with a recipe that’s pretty heavy on the aromatics, but it’s not for everyone! To me, lots of garlic, onions, and herbs help to make a kitchen feel homey, and there’s nothing quite like opening the oven door and hearing everyone groan with anticipation. For a bit more of an active cooking experience, you can always grill or pan-fry your main course—this is more along the lines of what I generally do. Sear some steaks in a pan or a grill and top it with butter, or work to build a more nuanced dish like chicken marsala (a personal favorite). Either way, I’d aim to do about one large serving per person, with extras for the folks you know who like to have extras (mostly me), and you’re set!

But wait! Side dishes? Make them in advance if you can. Or have them be as very little maintenance if possible. Salads if you didn’t have one for an appetizer are great here, as are various potato preparations: mashed, baked, and gratin are fantastic ways to serve a side starch. If your entree is pretty heavy, keep your side relatively light! And vice versa. You want everyone to have room for dessert, of course.

After everyone’s done with their main course and has been settled for a bit, I like to bring out dessert. Unless you’re into baking and pastries, I’d definitely grab a cake or a few pastries from your favorite bakery. It’s a lot of work to make your own desserts, and the precision can be taxing when you consider that you’ve made so many other things for this party (even if you didn’t do it all yourself). Something easy to cut like a pie or a cake works well for dessert, especially if it highlights seasonal fruit. Ice cream and coffee are also fantastic and absurdly simple. Carve out a couple scoops and serve with a small cup of joe.

The Drinks

While we’re talking about beverages, what do you serve for the rest of the dinner? It really depends on your crowd and your personal tastes. We have a stocked wine rack and a decent amount of hard liquor, so it’s easy for our guests to have whatever they’re feeling like imbibing.

I’m a bit of a wine snob (I’m sorry), and it’s nice to have a general progression of lighter wines to bolder ones as the meal goes on. A rosé is a good halfway point for avid white and red wine drinkers, and generally fits nicely for an appetizer into a main course. Aiming for bold reds through the entrée typically works best, unless you’re serving white-fleshed fish or lighter chicken preparations.

This being said, serve whatever wine you think tastes best! It’s the expectation that you serve white wine with fish and chicken, but no one is stopping you from having lovely glass of gewürztraminer with a steak or a fantastic glass of pinot noir with halibut.

If your guests are into cocktails or straight liquor, it’s nice to have some glasses available and some ice on hand for said drinks. I urge guests to keep it simple. We’re not in a bar, and I won’t have slices of lemon, lime, or orange, or mint or basil leaves on hand just because you want a specific cocktail. I generally assume that if someone is drinking a specific boozy drink, they’ll be drinking it all night. I treat beer the same way: have a small selection of beers you know people like, and if they’re drinking it, odds are that they’ll drink it all night.

It’s also great to have some non-alcoholic, non-water drinks on hand for designated drivers, guests with allergies, or generally otherwise opposed to liquor. Sparkling juices and seltzers can be nice alternatives to soft drinks, and they’re tasty too. Water should also be readily available, for cleansing the palate and sating thirst (I keep a Brita in the fridge for this purpose).

Whatever Comes After…

Is whatever you want! Some dinner parties end with the end of dessert, and others go on to play games, watch TV or movies, and whatever else you and your friends do. It’s probably better to avoid any strenuous activities right after all that food, though. I personally insist on cleaning up after myself—my guests are just that, guests. But if they’re insistent and you’re tired, might as well take advantage of the free labor!

Don’t stress out (unless you like it), and try to have fun! Your guests will have a good time if you are, and it’s not worth it to go crazy over a night of cooking (and drinking). You can always clean up tomorrow, eat the leftovers and relax after everyone’s gone. Good luck!

Photo by Meaghan Morrison

Photo by Meaghan Morrison

Picky Eating and Overcoming the Fear of Fine Dining

I’ve been a picky eater ever since I can remember. I don’t like vegetables or most fruit. I generally don’t like green foods. I absolutely hate the fibrous crunch of lettuce, celery, broccoli—you name it. Going out to eat in my high school years with friends was basically me ordering a dish, picking off 50% of the contents, and eating what little remained, unless I was fortunate enough to find the one dish that wasn’t covered in a salad and coleslaw. So how did I fall in love with food? It seems unlikely, considering that I entirely hate a major food group.

My family went on vacation the summer after my sophomore year, and my mom desperately wanted to eat at this restaurant she’d seen reviews for. It was her birthday, and I was dragged along, slightly against my will. What was wrong with just going to the Outback for another Bloomin’ Onion and some of their ridiculously portioned cheesecake slices? What about their awesome dark brown bread they served with a huge knife running through it?

I didn’t know it, but I was about to lose my footing. Birthday dinners would never be the same for me.

I swooned after one bite of something utterly and impossibly amazing. One little piece of steak. It looked so sad on this large white plate, all by itself. I pitied it, put it on my fork, and put it in my mouth. What I tasted was this juicy, creamy, melt-in-your-mouth slice of heaven. Just barely crispy on the edges, but succulent all the way through, it teased every sense out of my feeble teenager mouth. It was heavenly, and suddenly Outback seemed boring, for peasants only. I was awestruck that something so small could pack such a punch, bring up so many wonderful food-related feelings. When the time came to order dessert, I decided to be adventurous and ordered something with fresh fruit. A raspberry “napoleon”: chantilly cream layered with fresh berries with crispy pastry tuilles in between. The order shocked my parents. I astounded them again when I ate bite after bite of my dessert (previously, I’d only been interested in artificial fruit flavors).

From then on, there was a small obsession with finding a perfect bite to meet that piece of meat. Now that my parents were not as worried about me finding something to eat on any given menu, we tried new restaurants. I was enjoying new flavors, but I kept running into all of these pesky vegetables. They were on every entrée, present as a garnish on every appetizer. Sometimes, they even made it to dessert, which disgusted and horrified me. About a year after the best piece of steak ever, my mom grew tired with me leaving half the plate behind. She told me, “Finish your plate or you can pay for your share of the food,”—and with those prices, I was horrified. When a dish was a solid week’s worth of earnings at my then-shitty-semi-retail job, avoiding the vegetables was clearly not worth it when I wanted to go to Disneyland over Spring Break.

So I put the piece of asparagus in my mouth, chewed briefly, and swallowed. And it wasn’t love. It was still mild disgust, but the idea of paying for something and not eating it (at least at a high price point) started to gall me. Bite after bite, frown after frown, the vegetables went away and the plate was empty. It wasn’t the worst thing ever, but it wasn’t something I’d choose to do on an everyday basis. My family found it entertaining, that I would break such a hard-and-fast eating rule for a fancy meal.

I’d like to say that day changed something in me, but it didn’t. I still don’t like greens, though I’ve compromised and started to enjoy some fresh fruit more often. The love of food, great food made with immense care, pushes me to keep trying new and exciting things. So I keep trying different restaurants with exotic menus and preparations. And I’ll have you know, I recently ate a large slice of cucumber with eggplant relish and didn’t throw a tantrum (or throw up).

Photo by Sara Slattery

Photo by Sara Slattery

Learning to Cook: Beyond PB&J and Mac & Cheese

I have always loved to cook, but never really devoted myself to the art before. I could cook simple things that most know how to make: eggs, mac & cheese, and sandwiches. Anyone can slap a few pieces of ham between some bread and call it a day, but I decided to take it several steps forward. My recent foray into cooking culminated with a somewhat experimental dinner party.

Living on your own, you quickly find that you have to develop certain skills you used to take for granted. Cooking is an amazing skill to possess, but is easily overlooked if you have spent your life being fed by your parents. Many people only learn enough about cooking to get by day-to-day. However, the art of cooking can go much deeper, and have a much bigger impact in your daily life.  There are many reasons to learn to cook, including health and nutrition, enjoyment, and saving money. Eating out all the time can be expensive and unhealthy. In addition, learning to cook gives you a stronger connection to your meal. Preparing and eating a meal you have worked hard on gives a sense of accomplishment that would otherwise be replaced with boring empty calories from fast food. It is also a great way to impress guests with your gourmet recipes!

Probably the most daunting part of cooking is getting started. Depending on what you want to cook, you will need the right tools. Some basic necessities are a few good knives, a stove, and some pans. Ideally, you would want other accessories, such as cutting boards, spatulas, wooden spoons, and whisks, among others. If you are serious about cooking, your set of knives will be your best friend. If you buy good beginner knives, such as Wusthof brand, and properly maintain them, they can last throughout your culinary career—or just serve your personal cooking needs. However, there are cheaper models on the market for under $20 that will work for everyday cooking. You can probably find most utensils you’ll ever need at Bed, Bath & Beyond or a similar store. My dinner party only really required these basic tools and, except for the addition of a crème brulee torch, I already had everything I needed.

Here’s the fun part—selecting your menu and ingredients! The most important thing to remember is: the fresher, the better. Certain cuts of meat can be frozen; however, some, such as ground beef, should not. When at all possible, use fresh ingredients or plan accordingly when items need to be frozen. If you want to stick to simple and quick meals, try to find recipes that consist of five ingredients or less. This will make meals easier to prepare without breaking the bank and without sacrificing flavor. In fact, too many flavors can just as easily ruin a meal as not enough. My advice would be to try to plan out what you want to eat for that week and make a trip to the store once a week to get what you need. Some recipes can make enough to last several days, as well, so keep that in consideration so you don’t cook too much (especially if you’re only cooking for one).

To prevent culinary boredom, I try to vary my recipes by complexity throughout the week. On a day when I might have less time to prepare, I may limit myself to simple meals with little preparation time, but on a weekend, I may try something fancier. (These would be the days to invite others over to show off your culinary expertise.) If you are interested in hosting a dinner party like I did, portion sizes are very important. I didn’t take course selection as seriously, and in the end I had way too many dishes to serve, and not nearly enough people to serve them to. It meant I had a lot more work to do beforehand, which ended up as leftovers. Remember, simple is not necessarily a bad thing!

Another important issue to keep in mind is nutrition. While it’s almost always healthier to cook for yourself instead of eating out, that doesn’t mean every fancy recipe you discover is going to necessarily be good for you. It’s important to vary the types of food you prepare, including different colored vegetables and fruits. It’s easy to grab just the foods you feel familiar with, but learning to cook is the chance to explore and experiment with flavor. And since you’ll be prepping it all yourself, you are always free to perform taste tests as you go, just to make sure you’ll like it. I also try to challenge myself as often as possible by cooking something I have never eaten. Try exploring different cultural cuisines or perhaps a traditional meal from your own culture you have never tried. For my party, I combined British and French foods such as rainbow trout with capers, scotch eggs, leeks, a frisée salad, and a summer pudding and crème brulee for dessert.

Cooking is a skill everyone should learn. The level of complexity is entirely up to you, and you’ll be healthier and more satisfied with your meals. Definitely pick up a copy of The Joy of Cooking  by Irma S. Rombauer. This tome is a staple in the cooking world and gives you basic information about cooking, nutrition, and etiquette. In addition, it has thousands of recipes ranging from quick meals to huge dinner events. It even has a section with menus for different occasions such as holidays and birthdays. It’s debatable whether you need actual cookbooks for your recipes, especially with the internet, but I find it helps to have the book out in the kitchen instead of trying to print things out as you go. For my French and British dishes, I relied heavily on My Paris Kitchen by David Lebovitz and Gordon Ramsay’s Great British Pub Food. Always research what you’re cooking, though, cookbook or not. It’s always helpful to find other people’s results with a certain dish, and potentially learn any problems they might have run into. Know what your ingredients are, and what to expect from the cooking process. Lastly, always remember to taste, and try new things, and find what flavors and foods you enjoy.

Photo by Andy Sutterfield

Photo by Andy Sutterfield

Saucepan Recipes That Are Easier Than You Think

Cooking, for whatever reason, can be intimidating. Maybe it is the fire and knives? Maybe it is the possibility of poisoning yourself or your loved ones? Or maybe it’s just because being a chef seems like a glamorous career for geniuses. The thing is, though, it’s not as hard as it seems. Like any other skill, it just takes some learned skills, practice, and the willingness to make a few mistakes.

I consider myself a chef, though I am not “in the industry,” which was my response when a waiter at an upscale brunch place asked me where I worked after seeing my culinary-inspired tattoo. And, you know what? That’s okay! People are quick with an apologetic, “Oh, I’m a terrible cook!” when it’s time for the staff meeting potluck. Instead, I challenge you to appreciate the effort you put in to feeding yourself! Let me start you off with three intimidating foods that are easier than they sound, and all of which can be cooked in a saucepan. Which is a pot, by the way. A small pot, that in restaurants might be used for sauces, but in many 20somethings’ kitchens is mostly used for 1-2 servings of Annie’s mac and cheese.

1. Boiled Egg

Why Make It?

Have you ever sliced a hard-boiled egg with fresh ground pepper for a mid-morning snack? Piped some tasty egg yolk and mayo mixture into delicious deviled eggs? Slurped a warm soft-boiled beauty with your miso-filled ramen bowl? They are well worth the effort.  Though this first dish might be like skating through easy-town for some readers, I do give some tips and tricks (one I just learned last week!) to make things easier, so check it out.

The Technique

You will need a saucepan, a medium sized bowl, and eggs for this.

Place the eggs in your saucepan and fill it with enough water to cover the eggs about an inch. Don’t go running for a ruler; I usually just approximate with the first joint of my index finger.

Cover the saucepan and bring it to a boil. It is important to boil the water with the eggs already inside because 1) the cook time accounts for the cooking they’ll do as the water boils and 2) if you drop them into already boiling water, they will crack and not be beautiful and perfect.

When the water is boiling, turn off the heat and move the saucepan to a cool burner, leaving the lid on to keep the heat in. Set the timer for your desired egg done-ness using the following useful chart from No Recipes (this site has an extensive egg boiling article—definitely worth a read!):

Saucepan Recipes That Are Easier Than You Think

Photo via No Recipes

2 minutes – The white isn’t fully set, and the yolk is totally raw

4 minutes – The white is fully set, but the yolk is thick and runny

6 minutes – The white is fully set, and the yolk is mostly set but still a little runny in the middle

8 minutes – The white is fully set, and the yolk is set but tender

10 minutes – The white is fully set, and the yolk is fully set

As you wait, prepare your ice bath: fill the medium-sized bowl with cold water and ice cubes. I usually leave it in the sink so I can do a quick dump. I hold the lid partially on to keep the eggs in the saucepan while I dump out the water, then I move the lid out of the way to dump the eggs right into their ice bath. This is because I am lazy about dish-washing; a colander would suit just fine.

After a minute or two in the ice bath, they will be cool enough to touch. I pick them up, bang them on all sides with the back of a spoon to make cracks all over the shell, and put them back in the water. If I want one right away, I might pull it out and peel it then and there, but ideally they should sit for a bit so the water can get under the shell and loosen it to make peeling easier. And you’re done!

Tips and Tricks

By far the biggest issue for egg boiling is the peeling. If you’ve ever found yourself attempting to peel and egg and instead removing chunks of tasty white (that’s food in there!), you know what I mean. This is especially annoying if you want to serve these to people and want them to look smooth and flawless.

My mom always told me to just use older eggs (as in, near their expiration date). This does work for science reasons that I don’t understand just yet. But if you can’t wait that long (and who can?), there is another trick. Before cooking your egg, take something with a small but rounded edge (I used the butt of my rolling pin handle). Take your raw egg in one hand and hold the rolling pin steady with the other. Whisper a short prayer to your deity of choice, and then tap the wide butt end of the raw egg gently against the tip of the rolling pin handle. You want to hear a tiny crack that breaks a bit of the shell but not the membrane of the egg. I was sure this would end in a mess and tears, but it totally worked and made peeling at the end a lot easier.

2. Jam

Why Make It?

When most people picture jam-making, they picture a kitchen full of Laura Ingalls Wilders, out in the middle of nowhere, all wearing kerchiefs over their hair and wiping sweat from their brows with their forearms as they use both hands to stir an enormous, thick vat of goo that will last the winter. But that is not at all an accurate depiction of the time and effort involved! Jam is actually fairly quick and easy to make, especially if you are only making a couple jars and do not plan on proofing (sealing the lids so they can sit out at room temperature for ages). And with the delightful ability to mix flavors to your own personal preference and look like a gourmet BAMF, there is no reason not to.

The Technique

First, supplies: To make jam, you’ll need some sterile* mason or Ball jars (with the flat lids and twist rings), fruit, sugar, lemon juice, and pectin (available at most larger grocery stores, in the baking aisle, by the Jello). Choose the No Sugar Needed Pectin—it works the best even if you do use sugar (which you will, I imagine).

You’ll also want a pot and probably a funnel, to ease more jam into the jar.

* To sterilize them, boil the jars, lids, and rings in a big pot before you put the finished jam inside. This kills all bacteria. Washing the in dishwasher will do the trick too.

Now, recipes: Different jam recipes have different ratios, so I’ll start with a specific favorite of mine: strawberry lavender. For lots of recipes, proofing times, and just generally great advice, check out PickYourOwn.org, a website with terrible design but a lot of knowledge. It walked me through my first canning experience.

Strawberry Lavender Jam

Buy/pick some strawberries! You’ll need about twice as many cups of whole strawberries as you want cups of complete jam. So if you want 6 cups of jam, you’ll need 12 cups of whole berries.

Wash them, hull them (cut the leaves and white part out with a small knife), and cut them into pieces. The smaller you cut them, the faster they will break down in the jam.

Prepare your sugar by blending 4 cups of sugar in a food processor with 4 tablespoons of edible lavender buds (available at specialty spice stores). I do this one cup at a time ‘cause my food processor is small. You could also probably get away with chopping up the lavender very finely as well.

In your saucepan, mix ¼ cup of your lavender sugar with 1 ½ packages of pectin (SureJell or another brand, doesn’t matter). Feel free to play with this amount as you cook. As you make more jam, you’ll find the perfect ratio for you.

Cook this mixture over medium high heat for about 5-10 minutes, until the mixture is at a full boil (remains boiling even when you stir).

Add the rest of the sugar and allow it to come to a boil again. Don’t raise the heat too high, though, as that creates more foam. Keep at a full boil for 1 minute. Speaking of foam, feel free to scoop that off and toss it in the sink. It’s just bits of jam with too much air.

Remove from heat and test for thickness. Do this by keeping a teaspoon in a glass of cold water. When you take the saucepan off the heat, dip the spoon to get a bit of jam and let it cool to room temperature. If it looks thick enough, hooray! If not, add a little more pectin and cook a bit longer.

When the jam is cooked to perfection, use a funnel to move it into the jars. If you plan to use and eat or give away the jars to people who will use or eat them right away, you don’t need to proof them. If you want to save them, then…

Proofing!

If you want to make more than a jar or two, you’ll likely want to proof (or seal) your jars to get rid of all bacteria and allow them to sit safely on the shelf without going bad.

To proof them, fill with jam, screw on the lid and ring, and place them into a big pot of boiling water. There should be a few inches of water over the top of the lid. Depending on the jam, they will need to proof for different amounts of time—check online. When the time’s up, remove them from the pot and let them sit out and cool overnight at least. Within 30 minutes, you should hear a “pop” to tell you the can has properly sealed—if not, keep it in the fridge and eat it soon. Aside from a big pot, you’ll probably want something to lift them out of the boiling water (I used big tongs once, but then I went to Target and got an actual jar lifter and it was fantastic).

Tricks and Tips

Jam-making includes a lot of equipment and, for that reason, it’s super helpful to have everything lined up and ready to go. Make sure you have your sugar and pectin measured out and lots of oven mitts and hot-thing-holders on hand. Your jars, lids, and twist rings should be clean and ready, too.

You also want to be aware of temperature. Pouring hot jam into a cold jar could cause the glass to break, so you will want to sterilize your jars while prepping your jam. I usually do this by allowing the jars to boil away for about 10 minutes in a big pot on the stove while I’m cutting up the fruit. If I’m just making a few jars worth and not planning on proofing, I wash the jars in hot water to warm up the glass while the jam thickens.

Depending on the fruit you are using, your jam will be different consistencies at different temperatures. I found, for example, that blackberries thicken up nicely in the saucepan and stay at a similar consistency in the fridge. Strawberries and prickly pears (the fruit of cacti), however, don’t seem to thicken much in the saucepan, causing you to bite your nails and continue adding pectin, which all comes together strongly when the jar is cooled, making your jam a bit stiffer than desirable. So don’t worry if it doesn’t thicken like you think it should—it could just be the type of fruit. Do more research online.

Finally, note that pectin will lose its magical thickening abilities if you up the recipe too much, so work in small batches. The recipe I provide above is about as much as you want to do at one time in one pot. But there is no reason not to have two pots going at once!

3. Pastry Cream

Why Make It?

Pastry cream, though super delicious, probably seems like something that Julia Child or Martha Stewart would make, not you. What do you do with it anyway? Well, if you’re like me, you use it to impress your friends and neighbors! Obviously pastry cream is integral for tasty pastry creation, if you’re working on fruit tarts or Danishes or donuts. But it is also an integral ingredient in a very simple, very fun, very beautiful dish know as a trifle. This dish is meant to be made ahead and then refrigerated, making it easy to bring to potlucks and get-togethers, impressive and convenient to serve at a dinner party, and fun to assemble and eat with groups for a bridal or baby shower or a birthday party.

Pastry Cream Recipe

You’ll need:

  • 2 cups of milk/cream (I usually combine 1 cup of whipping cream and 1 cup of milk; half and half works too)
  • ½ cup sugar
  • Pinch of salt
  • 5 large egg yolks (save the whites – you can make an omelet later!)
  • 3 tablespoons cornstarch (flour is fine too)
  • 4 tablespoons of butter (1/2 a stick)
  • 1½ teaspoons vanilla extract

 

Before you start cooking, prepare an ice bath to quickly cool your pastry cream. Get two large bowls, one slightly (but not much) bigger than the other. Fill the bigger one with cold water and ice and float the small inside the larger. Finally top it off with a mesh strainer balanced on the top. Put this ice bath to the side for the end of your recipe.

Heat the cream/milk in a saucepan until simmering. Watch out! Milk comes to an overflowing boil within seconds of starting to simmer. Keep an eye on it.

Whisk the sugar, pinch of salt, and 5 egg yolks together in a large bowl. You want to whisk for a good long time, until the mixture turns more of a paler yellow than the brighter yellow it started out as. Add in the cornstarch/flour.

If the milk has started to simmer by now, please, feel free to remove if from the burner and turn off the stove.

Now it’s time to combine the two mixtures. Be careful—doing this too fast will cook the eggs. You are going to do a process called tempering, in which you add a little bit of the hot milk/cream to the egg, sugar, flour mix to slowly warm it up. Drizzle about a tablespoon of hot liquid into your bowl and immediately whisk it to spread the heat evenly and avoid cooking one small spot. Repeat this a few times—you should be whisking for as much of this time as possible. I usually add about 1/3 of my cream this way.

When the mixture seems to be fairly warm, use a spatula to scrape the mixture back into the saucepan with the rest of the hot milk/cream. Return it to medium heat. Using a whisk or silicon spatula or wooden spoon, stir constantly while the mixture cooks. You are heating up the cornstarch/flour so it thickens the mixture, plus kills any bacteria in your eggs.

Continue whisking, even though you are super bored, for about 5 minutes. It could take longer or shorter, depending on the temperature of your ingredients. If you let it sit, you will scorch the bottom of the pastry cream. You’ll know it’s time when you see these cool-looking, thick bubbles of pastry cream in the saucepan. When you see that, continue for 30 seconds to a minute longer, then remove saucepan from the burner.

Off the stove, add in your butter and vanilla, and stir to combine.

Now, turn to your ice bath. Use a spatula to scrape the custard into mesh strainer, to get rid of any lumpy bits. It won’t fall through on its own, so you’ll need to hold the strainer and use the spatula to push it through.

Allow it to sit 10-15 minutes and cool a bit, then take plastic wrap and cover the bowl. Make sure the plastic wrap comes down inside the bowl, pressing against the top layer of pastry cream and coming up the inside sides of the bowl. Sounds weird, but this keeps the pastry cream from developing a skin. Allow it to set for at least 3 hours in the refrigerator.

Tips and Tricks

Believe it or not, this is one of the easiest fancy things to make. As long as you don’t add your hot milk to your cold eggs too fast or cook the final product without stirring, your pastry cream will be delicious.

To play with other flavors, consider soaking herbs in the milk/cream while it heats. Mint is delicious, but basil and even rosemary create a really unique and tasty final product. Make sure you remove the leaves before combine the milk with the eggs and sugar.

You can also add chocolate chips at the end with the butter and vanilla for a tasty chocolate-y flavor!

And that’s it! Hopefully you will be breaking out your saucepan for more exciting things this weekend!

We Don’t Know Shit About Food

“[T]he thinkings and unthinkings and giving and taking of the diet industry and numerous health experts and peer-reviewed journals and your mom and my mom and that guy over there and your yoga instructor have turned into a veritable cluster fuck of information that all circles around food, but never actually settles down to just talk about it. It’s quickly leading me to believe that we literally (in the actual sense of the word) don’t know shit about food.” – Nikki Steele, “We Don’t Know Sh** About Food, Do We?” on Food Riot

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m about to give up on food and just consume Soylent for the foreseeable rest-of-my-life.  Keeping up on “this is bad for you” and “that is bad for you” is like standing with one foot each on a Volvo semi-truck, but without the balance and flexibility of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s stunt double.  No matter what, you’re going to fail, and you have no idea how horrible the consequences might be. For all I know, they’ll come back in a year and tell me Soylent is bad for me too (but at least this version isn’t made of people).

I hear I’m supposed to drink water all day—but plastic is bad for me (and even worse for the environment).  I should make my own meals instead of buying so much fast food—but don’t even think of microwaving that in plastic Tupperware.  Don’t you know you’re supposed slowly heat everything up on the stove, dirtying a pan, a spatula, a pair of tongs, a plate, and a fork and knife?  But, by the way, your city is in a drought, so don’t overuse water when you clean all those dishes.

And that’s just how you eat.  Don’t even get your mother, brother, cousin, mailperson, dog, registered dietician started on what you eat.  Paleo and keto are all the rage (I can’t even tell how they’re supposedly different).  It’s like Atkins 2.0—I think.  For a carboholic like me, it’s hell: I tried giving carbs up for Lent a couple years ago, and it turned me into an angry ball of stress.  My friends highly encouraged me to quit a week early in order to preserve our relationships.

The only thing that’s obvious is that culture and society have fucked us up.  We’ve been encouraged at a young age to suppress our natural full indicator and “clean your plate, because children in Africa are starving.”  Our own food industry is more interested in a profit than in healthy consumers, so Lord Monsanto calls all the shots.  I change my mind on GMO foods every other week.  And, as a 20-something female, I’m pretty sure it’s physically impossible for me to achieve the idealized American femme fatale physique without seriously impacting the happiness I find in the bottom of a bowl of ice cream.

How do you deal with the information overload?  Do you have a resource with whom you entrust your health and happiness? Please enlighten me!

Meggyn Watkins is the Managing Editor of the UNDERenlightened. Fiction reader, local art prowler, concert-goer, BBC watcher, world traveler, and San Jose Sharks lover! @meggawat

Photo by Michelle White

Photo by Michelle White

Fridgeology 101

Last month, I moved into my own studio apartment. Contrary to popular belief, the best part about living alone isn’t the ability to walk around pantsless or let dirty dishes pile up in the sink for a week. Actually, it’s that—for the first time in my life—I indulge in the privacy of my own fridge and freezer. Having spent significant time over the past six years sharing fridge space with roommates (some friends, some strangers), employers, coworkers, and other people who have flickered in and out of their lives—and therefore mine—I have come to learn that a glimpse into other people’s refrigerators reveals the most essential, and sometimes most intimate, facets of their lives.

We’re probably all familiar with the proverbial scene in a rom-com in which a girl snoops through her love interest’s medicine cabinet to uncover the skeletons in his closet. If I were getting ready to launch into a serious relationship, though, I’d look through his fridge and freezer to find out what he’s hiding.

Freezer full of chicken soup in Tupperware? His mom still delivers him prepared meals every week.

Dannon Light and Fit? There’s definitely another woman in the picture.

Based on an unofficial ethnographic study, conducted over a six-year period, across several neighborhoods across New York City, what this reporter has come to deem the “fridge-forage” has proven to be a surprisingly accurate litmus test for the habits and personalities of the test subjects. Names have been removed from the vignettes that follow in order to protect the identities of the people who failed their diet plans, served their children expired yogurt, and drank their roommates’ milk.

Chapter 1: City Parents

My first case study comes from when I was a freshman in college, babysitting for a couple with a newborn baby on the Upper East Side, and naïve enough to fall for the “help yourself to anything in the fridge” trap. As soon as the parents headed out, and the baby was fast asleep, I excitedly tiptoed into the kitchen, thinking I’d whip up a meal with the groceries I imagined working adults in New York kept on hand. Instead of the freshly baked hearth breads, heirloom vegetables, and mélange of dips I’d envisioned, I found moldy cheese (and not the good kind of mold), a jar of mustard three years past the expiration date, and a half-finished bottle of white wine. Conclusion: Despite being proud parents, this couple, a little older than the average first-time parents, were not ready to give up certain aspects of their New York routines from life before parenthood. Living in the one-bedroom apartment he’d owned since bachelorhood, and subsisting on a steady diet of takeout and leftovers were vestiges of their former life stage, anachronistic next to the baby food on the bottom shelf of the wine rack and Lipitor next to the takeout menus. “Transitioning Your Fridge: An Emotional Journey” is, apparently, lacking on the millions of “How to Prepare for Life with a Baby” blogs.

A second family, which I’ve tracked over the entire six-year period, lives in a large apartment on the Upper West Side with three kids under the age of five, and they keep Kosher, a set of Jewish dietary laws that I also observe. When I first met the family, I imagined their pantry would resemble the one in my house growing up. The first Saturday night I babysat for this family, the kids were finishing up their eggs, ketchup, grapes, and mashed peas, and the parents told me to “seriously help yourself to anything.” As had become my babysitting routine, when the kids headed to bed, I headed into the kitchen with an empty stomach and a head full of ideas about the bounty of treats I might find in a large household. In this case, sure that I’d find something that people over the age of 10 would find edible, and expecting lots of snacks, I peered into the fridge, only to land upon a grocery aisle’s worth of Gogurt, string cheese, bananas, ketchup, whole milk, Grape-Nuts, and Slim Fast shakes. There was one apple in the drawer. Conclusion: Busy parents who order Fresh Direct for Sunday delivery and have kids with nut and sesame allergies, do not have peanut butter and hummus on standby, end up eating like their kids most of the week, and have babysitters so they can eat out on Saturday nights. As they’ve moved past the pregnancy stage and into the world of Soul Cycling moms, these parents have exhibited a nod to health-conscious eating habits through the proverbial apple a day and cottage cheese. (Note that I have since opted to bring my own dinner for this babysitting gig.)

Chapter 2: The Roommate Experience

Observing life in someone else’s home is enlightening, but there may be no greater human experiment than the roommate experience in New York City, and from an ethnographic research perspective, living with the study subjects is the best way to gather evidence. Essentially, New York living boils down to people who consider each other to be friends—in the traditional sense, or, more likely, in the Facebook way—sharing the amount of space that people in the rest of the country call a closet. You quickly learn quirks and habits that you wish you didn’t know about the people you live with, and the fridge partition encapsulates that dynamic.

The apartment I shared with five roommates—not including my roommates’ boyfriends—made our fridge a Petri dish ripe with samples for my study. Each sixth of the fridge was an accurate reflection of the person who occupied the space. One roommate’s parents would drive into the city from Long Island every other Sunday with an SUV trunk full of Shop Rite brand yogurt. Conclusion: Parents from Long Island, having conducted a cost-benefit analysis of delivering groceries into the City on heavy traffic days, found that this arduous process relieves their children of the task of grocery shopping, allowing the students more time to study, and, as a result, earn better grades and ultimately higher-paying jobs.

A second roommate kept little in her section of the fridge. Instead, she would purchase a frozen burrito, microwavable Indian dish, or instant pad Thai every night, based on what she was craving. Conclusion: To become the highest achiever in the academic and extracurricular spheres requires allocating fewer brain cells to more mundane, organizational aspects of life, such as meal-planning and nutrition facts.

I would be remiss not to share a few of the high notes from my most recent post-college roommate situation, which jarringly brought to light the idiosyncrasies and extremes of each of our personalities, and ultimately the reasons I needed to find a room of my own. The fridge, never a clean three-way split, was constantly littered with remains of leafy greens, drips of coconut oil, and stains from dietary supplements, based on whichever made-for-TV diet one roommate was swearing by that week. She juiced everything in her NutriBullet and then separated the pulpy mush into small containers, which would topple out of the freezer every time I opened it. Curiously enough, all of her diets seemed to involve nightly consumption of an entire pint of chocolate ice cream, the traces of which would appear stuck to the counter every morning. Conclusion: All evidence pointed to an adult who was haphazard, scatterbrained, and searching for something life-changing—maybe weight loss—as she was single, approaching forty, and living with two twenty-something roommates who had to remind her to pay her bills on time.

Chapter 3: The Real World

Between roommates and siblings, friends and subletters, I entered the working world thinking that as green as I was in professional experience, I was seasoned at facing the interpersonal challenges of office life. At a company where the majority of my coworkers are under the age of thirty and don’t have children, I quickly appreciated the inspiration for episodes of The Office. My coworkers’ profiles were similar to mine in age, educational background, and social values. Within my first week of work, though, I was shocked by my observations of the way other people ate, and by what they thought of me because of my food choices. The single fridge, shared amongst 100 employees, was a steaming stank of half-eaten McDonald’s burgers, forgotten fountain sodas, moldy cheese from last Christmas’s potluck, expired Greek yogurts, half-finished juice cleanses, soggy tater tots, frozen mini tacos, a forgotten Tupperware, and beer.  Conclusion: We are the typecast weight-watching, microwave “cooking,” starving by choice and by default, young urban professionals of NYC.

Even a surface-level fridgeology of my current, personal refrigerator would enable you to draw accurate conclusions about the person who inhabits this apartment. My fridge is neatly sectioned off by product type—produce, fruit, dairy, grains, and, for the most part, condiments—each of which is then ordered by expiration date. Vegetables are peeled, sliced, and placed in Tupperware on Sunday nights. Lunch is prepared before bed in Scandinavian BPA-free containers, placed on the shelf that I can reach with most efficiency on my way out the door each morning, and promptly shoved into the fridge upon arriving at work in order to secure prime real estate before the sticky leftover-bringers roll into the office. Conclusion: The first sweep of my fridge would reveal an Upper West Sider captivated by kale, quinoa, and Greek yogurt, somewhere on the spectrum of genuine and trendy health-conscious vegetarianism. A more detail-oriented look speaks to the measured and calculated way I approach decisions, which extends to how I choose what to eat. You’d see the struggle with balancing being on a budget and indulging in the Whole Foods groceries that are equally as expensive as they are nutritious , between regretting that I didn’t settle for takeout and feeling proud when I was determined to cook beans from scratch at 11 pm on a work night, and, ultimately, coming to terms with calling frozen yogurt and granola “dinner” two night in a row.

Reviewing this analysis, it’s not surprising that our refrigerators are gateways to our most genuine sense of self. It’s the fridge that knows first when we’re grazing like we’ve just gone through a break up, munching like we feel fat, snacking like we feel poor, or binging on our “skinny days.” We eat our feelings in the privacy of our own fridges, doors flung open, digging directly into that pint of ice cream, jar of salsa, or lame bag of salad we eat because we should. I don’t pretend to think my library-like fridge conveys more of a sense of “normal” than my coworker’s unassuming obsession with McDonald’s or those parents’ half-hearted ingestion of Slim Fast. What I have learned from this study is that, as people come in and out of your life, and jobs, relationships, and living situations are precarious, it’s important to have a strong sense of self, grounded in the way you keep your fridge. And, it’s probably best to keep it clean—after all, you never know who may be peeking inside.

Photo by Andy Sutterfield

Photo by Andy Sutterfield

Let’s Ask A Nutritionist While Making Daikon Cake

Registered Dietitian Emily Bostrom sat down again with her cousin, Alyssa Kurtzman, to talk nutrition while they tried their hand at making Chinese daikon cakes.

Alyssa: Just to give a little background on this particular project, we used to live near Chinatown, specifically near a Chinese deli that sold something called daikon cakes. They’re square, white, starchy, and kind of have the consistency of a gummy bear, if a gummy bear were savory and had chunks of Chinese sausage in it. We also discovered them to be the Best. Hangover. Remedy. Ever.

Recently, we found this recipe in The Hairpin and decided to try it (and document it) while I ask Emily some of the many food-related questions that pop into my head on a daily basis. All ingredients were purchased at an Asian supermarket in Manhattan’s Chinatown. Since it happens to be Oscar night, we’re also judge-watching the red carpet show.

To start, Emily is grating the daikon radish, while Alyssa soaks the mushrooms with some teeny dried shrimp before chopping ensues.

Soaking Mushrooms

Soaking Mushrooms

Emily also smartly brought some chewy ginger candy, which is gluing our mouths shut and thus preventing us from eating all this deliciously peppery daikon raw.

We throw the grated daikon into a pot of boiling water to let it cook for about 15 minutes. While that happens, we chop up some Chinese sausages and throw them in a hot skillet with about a tablespoon of oil. After a few minutes, we pick out the big pieces and eat them because, yea. Then we toss in the soaked mushrooms and shrimp. Smells great so far.

Grated Daikon

Grated Daikon

Time for Question 1:

QUESTION 1: WTF is so wrong about carbs, anyway?

Emily: Oh, carbohydrates. The big scary monster in the pantry. We love you carbs!!! But we hate you! It’s all very complicated. Carbohydrate intake is a super polarizing topic in the nutrition world, so right off the bat I will say that I am a relatively “moderate, middle of the road” Registered Dietitian (RD) who relies heavily on evidence when making nutrition recommendations. I also recognize that depending on the client’s health history, all of this information could change. There are health conditions (they are pretty rare… if you had one you would know) which are best treated by an almost entirely carbohydrate free diet. However, for the general, healthy, active US population, I think carbohydrates are great in moderation (boring, I know). People tend to think carbohydrates are evil because a diet really rich in carbohydrates tends to (1) leave you feeling hungry an hour after a large meal, (2) make you feel sluggish after said meal, (3) prevent your body from utilizing any stored fat, and (4) sometimes storing more energy as fat, depending on your daily calorie intake. A serving size of cooked carbohydrates is only ½ cup. Compared to what we are used to eating, that is tiny. So, no need to avoid carbohydrates, but try to be cautious about how much you’re putting on your plate.

The best sources of carbohydrates in your diet are fruit, vegetables, dairy, and whole grains. Allowing as few “simple carbohydrates” as possible is really the best. This means pick brown rice instead of white, sweet potatoes over white, and try to lean toward whole wheat, grainy breads.

Alyssa: Which are way more delicious, anyway.

Once the mushrooms, shrimp, and sausage have cooked for a while, we add the cooked and drained (with liquid reserved) daikon, and mix the whole thing together before it cooks for about 10 minutes. Then, we dump it all into a mixing bowl, add a little of the reserved daikon-cooking water, throw in about a cup of rice flour (which looks so much like powdered sugar that Alyssa needs to keep it in a separate cabinet), and stir until it’s all kind of sticky.

Batter

Batter

Emily: This kind of looks like we’re making latkes! Like as if we’re making latkes with glue.

Alyssa: Mmmmmmm…?

Then, it’s steamy time.

We pour this weird gelatinous mix into a glass dish, which we carefully lower into a “steamer” that we jerry-rigged using a stockpot and an overturned mug. Right now, it looks kind of like a pot filled with white vomit.

 

Cake Pre-Steaming

Cake Pre-Steaming

Now, it has to steam for an hour, most of which is spent talking about the following topic:

QUESTION 2: Should I be using coconut oil? It seems to be all the rage.

Emily: That’s a really good question. The answer is, we don’t really know yet. With the rise in popularity of the “Paleo Diet,” it sure is a hot item these days: it’s one of the few oils—along with olive and canola oil—that are allowed on that diet. Coconut oil is quite high in saturated fat, but also high in lauric acid, which is a medium chain tryglyceride (MCT), which is why people think it might be good for you. Studies have shown that coconut oil might have a beneficial effect on your healthy cholesterol, but these studies are very limited, and include both human and animal populations. MCT oil in general, has been shown to raise both your healthy cholesterol (HDL) and your unhealthy cholesterol (LDL) levels. Since the jury is still out on this, the general recommendation is to use coconut oil only in moderation, since it is still a source of saturated fat. Overall, you should stay away from partially hydrogenated coconut oil.

Refined coconut oil is good for cooking at high temperatures, since it has a high smoking temperature, but if using “virgin” coconut oil, it’s best for baking and medium heat sautéing.  I WILL say coconut oil makes a delightful hair mask. But don’t rub it into your roots. Trust me.

(Read here for more information)

Next, we have some fun typing the ingredients into nutritiondata.self.com to figure out the nutritional content of a daikon cake.

(Emily: The label says it’s for 1/10 of the whole thing; it’s really more like 1/12.)

Daikon Cake Nutrition Facts

By this point, we’re running out of ginger chews and getting ready to taste this concoction, which after an hour looks like… solidified white vomit. Yum. Time for the big taste test….

Cake Post-Steaming

Cake Post-Steaming

And the consensus is: delicious! Shockingly close to the cakes we used to buy in Chinatown! We don’t bother to cut ours up into individual wedges, though, because—duh—we’re family. And although ours is much lumpier than the three-for-$1.50 ones we used to binge on after long nights of drinking, the consistency is almost the same. It’s as if the daikon and shrimp melted into the rice flour and water. And the chunks of mushroom and sausage are like little umami explosions. If we were Olympic judges, we would give it a 7.5 for taste and maybe a -5 for appearance.

So, we tuck into our successful little dish, with some rice vinegar for dipping, while Emily addresses one final question:

QUESTION 3: Last week, right before she danced with some vegetables, Michelle Obama apparently said some stuff about new food labels. What’s all the fuss about?

Emily: Oh, Mrs. First Lady, RD’s everywhere were singing your praises last week. Thank goodness for all the awareness she is raising for nutrition’s role in health and well being! I have one giant, fruit-and-veggie-driven girl crush on Michelle Obama. Also, on her arms. So good.

Alyssa: So sculpted.

Emily: She would be Oscar gown ready at any moment. Anywho, she announced that nutrition fact labels will be changing soon, for the first time in almost 20 years. This is big! And here are some of the major changes to be expected:

Serving sizes: Instead of a serving of, say, ice cream, being listed as 1/2 cup (has anyone in history ever eaten a measly 1/2 cup of ice cream?!), they have decided to make a “serving” on the container listed as a much more likely 1 cup. This way, instead of glancing at the label and seeing that the ice cream has only 150 calories per serving, you’ll see 300 and realize what you are actually going to eat. I approve!

No more calories from fat: The current food label was written in the fat-fearful 1990’s, which is why there is that strange, seemingly useless “calories from fat” label is right at the top. Now that we love (healthy sources of) fat, evidence is showing that we shouldn’t really care about “calories from fat” and should instead focus more on…

Added Sugars: Hallelujah! I am so excited to have this addition to our food label (I’m realizing as I write this that I’m likely more excited than most people). When counseling and educating clients, I am always speaking about the difference between “naturally occurring sugars” and “added sugars.” But, it’s still confusing when all of the sugars on the food label are under just one heading! Now, when you pick up that yogurt, you will see the “total sugars” listed as 21g, and “added sugars” as 13g. This will be so helpful for people looking to avoid too many added sugars, but who understand that the lactose in that yogurt is not what they’re trying to avoid. Things like 100% fruit juice will still have no added sugar listed, but things like fruit purees (applesauce, preserves, jelly) will tell you exactly how much of that sugar on the label will be from the super healthy fruit, and how much will be from sugar, agave, high fructose corn syrup, evaporated cane syrup, honey, etc. I must say, this is a good time to be a Dietitian.

About a third of the way through the daikon cake, we remember to take a photo.

Us With Finished Product

Us With Finished Product

Just in time to start watching the Oscar ceremony! Come on, guy from Captain Phillips!

Until next time…

Emily Bostrom, RD, is a Registered Dietitian with degrees from Rutgers University and the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey, who eats, cooks and thinks about food. You can also find her singing loudly in the car and at http://www.emilybostrom.com/

Alyssa Kurtzman is a Content Manager at @CLIPTAMATIC and works on the UE social media staff. Life mantra: It’s never too hot for soup. @KURTZMANIA

 

Negotiating My Peace Treaty With Food

This article deals with an account of learning to overcome an eating disorder and finding ways to enjoy food again. Its content may be triggering to some people.

I used to do this thing. Maybe you also used to do this thing. Maybe you still do.

I kept a diary of every bite of food that went into my mouth, the margins scrawled with discouraging messages to my future self. A Diet Dr. Pepper and an apple was considered a passable lunch (dinner, too). I taped down my bra so I’d look flatter and more “waif-like.” I avoided being photographed at all costs. And, above all, I abhorred a full meal—whatever, let’s be honest, I abhorred food in general. I was fucking miserable, but for some reason, I felt like I had no other choice.

All of this started when I was about twelve. Growing up, I never really had the whole “your body is becoming something beautiful” chat (though who knows if it would’ve made much of a difference). I felt like my body was turning into something unfamiliar, something grotesque and lumpy and disproportionate. I had daily panic attacks that went undetected by my parents for at least a year. They probably thought I was way too young to have any real issues—they were holding out until high school for that. But it made sense: I’d always been a bit of a control freak, and this was just another facet of my life that I was desperate to have control over—i.e. “No, body. Stop that. You are not in charge. I AM.” So I started starving myself. The whole thing was pretty cut and dry. I don’t think we need to go down the rabbit hole of “why” and “how” this kind of thing happens. The internet is already chock full of that: “Why do we allow our daughters suffer from poor self image? Is the media to blame? Are other women to blame?” Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

But this isn’t about that. This is about how I learned to love food again and how, 15 years later, I even began identifying as an amateur Foodie. This is the peace treaty I negotiated with food.

Hey, food. So as it turns out my body really, really needs you. Like, a lot. Like I will actually physically cease to be without you. So let’s start there…

Because I absolutely must eat food, because I do not have a choice in the matter despite how long I withhold it, I might as well not treat dinnertime like a trip to a renaissance-era torture chamber. I might as well eat stuff that doesn’t suck.

And by “stuff that doesn’t suck,” I don’t necessarily mean indulgence 24/7. I’m not talking about In-N-Out Burger or Girl Scout Cookies (although sometimes, yes, I absolutely am talking about those things). But in this particular instance, I’m talking about awesome, unique, complex flavors. Food that goes crunch! Food that melts in your mouth, spices that clear up that sinus infection in 5 seconds flat, or just the perfect amount of saltiness. I’m talking about the experience of eating.

Regardless of whether it was a carrot I consumed fridge-side on my way out the door or lasagna and red wine at my favorite Italian restaurant, I forced myself to enjoy fueling my body. I re-tooled my brain with enjoyment. Recently, while training my dog, I learned that this is what is referred to as “counter conditioning.” Give the dog a treat every time she sees a skateboard? Eventually she’ll stop howling at the skater kids.

Do I have off-days? Yeah, obviously. Anyone who tells you there’s such a thing as being 100% free of such a warped perspective is bullshitting you—I’ll probably never pound that coveted In-N-Out burger without having to silence those dumb, self-deprecating thoughts at least once. I have to remind myself, time and time again, that eating is wonderful and good for me and fun.

I think that’s one of the reasons I became such a Food-Network-Watching-Restaurant-Week-Enthusiast: it was a way to make food fun. Thank God we live in the age of Alton Brown and Gordon Ramsay and her holiness, GIADA. Learning how to cook is an awesome, totally viable hobby, and more importantly: eating is cool. Seeking out hidden culinary gems in my city and telling people about them is so exciting for me, like passing on a juicy rumor. The pleasurable experience of eating, as a whole, is what helps me keep it together. There’s so, so much more to it than forcing calories into a body that’s running on fumes. This might sound like a no-brainer to most people, but for someone like me, it’s taken 15 years to wrap my head around.

Learning to love the body you’ve got can be hard. A lot of people can’t ever fully master that, try as they might, despite what their families and friends tell them. I think maybe this is because “love” is too strong a word: it’s too tall an order. We’re told to love our bodies. But sometimes we don’t love ourselves, and we feel like we have failed somehow when people tell us that we should. I think “acceptance” is a much better word to use. We can all learn to accept what we’re working with. But learning to love food… that, in my opinion, is totally within reach—the same way you might fall in love with a new band or a series of books. When a person with an eating disorder eats something they think they shouldn’t, there’s a tendency to tie the event to the very definition of their self worth. But to me, viewing eating as a hobby keeps me from internalizing the experience in a negative way. It’s something you do, not who you are, so it’s somehow easier to swallow (pun absolutely intended).

If you’re trying to claw your way out of a similar hole, I highly recommend cozying up to a marathon of Chopped, Yelping your neighborhood’s newest gastropub, or learning to make some really crazy dish, like paella or homemade pasta from scratch. Food is going to be a part of your life if you want to continue having a life, so you might as well make peace with it. You might even surprise yourself in the process: you might even have fun. 

Photo by Michelle White

Photo by Michelle White

Holiday Cooking for People Who Think They Can’t Cook

Shit! You have three days to come up with a holiday dish and you have no idea what you are going to make. You start questioning why you even agreed to provide something in the first place. Never fear, there are a few easy dishes you can turn to throughout the winter festivities that require little to no actual cooking skill. I swear!

Soup

First, meet your new best friend: the blender. No really. With the magic of your blender, you can make delicious soup!

I don’t know why soup is so impressive to people, because it’s not actually hard to make at all, but I’ve found it to be quite the crowd pleaser.

There are so many variations so my advice is to start with one element at a time and taste each step of the way.

The process is pretty simple:

  • Take some veggies that seem like they would be good together in a soup (or whatever you have in your refrigerator)
  • Pulverize them in the blender.
  • Then heat up the puree with veggie stock. (I like my soups thicker so I prefer to see the veggie puree and slowly add broth until I get the consistency I want. It ends up being about ¼ stock and ¾ puree most of the time but this is not a science, there is flexibility.)
  • You can add various spices for flavoring.  (I liked adding cayenne pepper because it gives it a kick. Some people really like nutmeg for sweet potato and squash.

That’s it.

You don’t have to worry about “messing it up” if you just go pinch by pinch and taste test as you go. If you think it tastes good, it probably tastes good.

I’ve made  it’s pretty easy to make fancy soup while binge watching Breaking Bad, i.e. you can totally split your focus and not panic.

My suggestion: Butternut Squash soup. It’s in season right now, super simple, and very tasty. Try this recipe from BlenderBabes. And don’t worry, you can totally skip the cream and keep it completely vegan.  You won’t even miss it. No need for dairy substitutions.

No-Bake Baking

If soups aren’t your thing, I recommend looking to dessert. Even if you constantly burn things, there are many no-bake recipes that work for the holidays (but, if you do want to try your hand at baking, read this). Both Banana Pudding or No Bake Nutella Cheesecake don’t even require turning on an oven. Plus, you can even make the Graham Cracker Crust with your trusty blender.

Graham Cracker Crust:

  • Turn graham crackers into dust using blender
  • Add butter until it looks like “dough.”
  • Then press the crust into a cake pan.

 

Voila, crust.

Things you don’t want to skip: You have to make sure you have time to refrigerate both the Banana Pudding and the cheesecake or else they are goop. I also don’t recommend skipping the heavy cream in the cheesecake. I tried using a substitute this year and it didn’t work well. The cream cheese and the nutella just didn’t set as well and it was more blob than cheesecake (though they still tasted delicious).

Breakfast Strata

I love this recipe. It’s so simple and so delicious.

The Process:

Take any amount of the following:

  • Eggs
  • Cheese
  • Bread
  • Veggies and/or Meats options

 

Put it in a glass-baking dish and cook for 20 minutes. Done. I’m serious, there are no ratios, just add those three things. You can’t possibly screw it up and people will think your like Jacques Pepin!

If you’re sure you can’t cook…

My next best suggestion is to look up some special cocktail recipes. Liz Kerin tested some of her favorites for the holidays here!

But, if all else fails; there’s no shame in buying something. I’m not a big fan of faking it but if you have to, go for something that will inspire nostalgia in your guests. For me, that’s picking up some Magnolia cupcakes to remind my friends of our time in New York.  If I was in my hometown, I would die if someone brought a fruit tart from the bakery by my house. While I appreciate someone’s home-baked goods, one surprise dish from a place I love can brighten up the meal.

Whatever you decide to do, I promise that as long as you are excited about what you are bringing, you and your food will be welcomed with open arms. You’ll make new friends when everybody asks you how you made it and even if you didn’t, you get to tell them about a cool new restaurant or bakery in your hometown. You will still be part of the life of the party, no matter what your cookery skill level is. Promise.

By Rob Adams

By Rob Adams

Holiday Baking Bliss

For many people, cooking and baking can be anxiety-inducing enough, without the added worry of subjecting your dish to your friends and loved ones for scrutiny. If you don’t find holiday baking bliss in here, let’s at least shoot for something below a panic attack when the next potluck invite comes your way.

When I was 11 years old, I made brownies in my best friend’s kitchen using my mom’s battered old copy of The Joy of Cooking. Let me tell you, Irma S. Rombauer doesn’t coddle you along. If you are reading her recipes, she assumes you know some basics. Except, well, I was 11, and my friend was 12, so we knew nothing. Which is why, after melting our Hershey’s bars in the microwave to get that rich, chocolaty goodness, we just dumped the mess into our batter, which (little did we know) instantly curdled our eggs—ultimately creating brownies that tasted like a chocolate omelet. This perhaps sounds better than they tasted, which was God-awful.

Now, most cookbooks and recipes that you will read nowadays know better than to assume that little girls and boys grew up learning how to “Do Things Properly,” but just in case, let me take a moment to impact some basic kitchen wisdom.

Measuring

  • Liquids should be measured in a liquid measuring cup, preferably Pyrex brand because they will live longer than you will.
  • Solids can be measured in measuring cups, but make sure you adhere to additional rules
    • Flour (and really, powdered sugar as well) should never be scooped up from the bag with the measuring cup. Instead, spoon it into the cup one scoop at a time with a regular tablespoon. When you have a little hill over the top of the measuring cup, tap the back of a butter knife on top and smooth it out. This is to make sure you do not compact the flour.
    • Brown sugar, on the other hand, must always be compacted. Press it into your measuring cup with your fingers or a spoon so that when you dump it out, it somewhat holds the shape of the measuring cup.
    • Granulated sugar (which is the baking name for plain ol’ white sugar), chocolate chips, baking soda/powder, peanut butter, whatever else can all be simply scooped with your measuring cup.
  • Though spices can be estimated, please do not estimate baking powder or soda. Adding too much or too little can keep your baked good from rising properly. These powders react with the liquids of your recipe to create air bubbles, which elevate your batter. Not enough powder and you have too few air bubbles. Too much powder and you get too many bubbles, which pop each other, collapsing the dish. And what’s the difference between baking powder and baking soda, you ask? Baking soda is a basic (as in pH) sodium bicarbonate, which needs some sort of acid in the recipe (often lemon) to react while baking powder is baking soda with a dry acid mixed in, which activates when wet.

 

Mixing

I have been watching Gordon Ramsey’s Ultimate Cookery Course, which has been utterly delightful and extremely informative. He knows his stuff. But I was appalled when he was making blondies (cookie dough in a single casserole dish) and just threw all the ingredients willy-nilly. Dumb idiot, that’s not going to rise! And it totally didn’t! And still, it was on TV! Let’s not make the same mistake:

  • Mix “wet” ingredients (butter, sugar, eggs, milk, melted chocolate, vanilla, etc.) separately from “dry” ingredients (flour, baking soda/powder, cocoa powder, spices, etc). This is critical for the dry ingredients, so that the baking soda/powder gets fully distributed throughout the flour (remember, those air bubbles are everything for presentation). It’s also beneficial for the wet ingredients as well, which sometimes need a pretty thorough beating, which you don’t want to give them when dry ingredients are in there, too.
  • “Why can’t I mix dry and wet ingredients for too long?” you whine. Well, when you mix dry and wet ingredients together, you are forming the glutinous bonds that will hold your treat together. If, however, you form too many glutinous bonds, your treat will be super tough and unpleasant and all your friends will hate you. Typically, recipes counsel you to mix “until just combined,” which I will repeat. It’s mixed when it looks homogenous.
  • Tempering. This is a scary word to some and it is part of Intermediate Baking. But not to fret. I taught 4th graders how to do it and I can teach you too. This is the skill that was missing from my repertoire during the infamous Omelet Brownie Debacle.
  • Here’s the situation: you have a hot thing (usually chocolate or hot cream) to which you need to add to a room temp or colder thing (usually containing eggs). What you want to do is slowly raise the temperature of the eggs by adding just a bit of that hot liquid (like 1-2 tablespoons) to your cooler thing, while whisking constantly. This will warm the little eggies up gently. Scoop up more of that hot liquid (go ahead and use ¼ cup this time) into the now-less-cold liquid and keep whisking. Keep doing this until both are completely combined and you are ready to continue the recipe!

 

Mise En Place

This is a French phrase that means “everything in its place” and it is the crux of kitchen bliss. Not only does it mean that your kitchen is somewhat organized when you set out to cook, it also means that you are ready mentally and physically.

That means that you have read the entire recipe already. That way, when you get to the phrase “chill overnight or for 8 hours,” you won’t start swearing because your party starts in 30 minutes. Seriously, read the whole thing as soon as you decide it’s what you wanna make.

Make sure you have your ingredients ready to go. Have your butter and eggs out on the counter (they ideally should get to room temp, anyway), have your measuring cups clean and ready, have your pan greased and your oven pre-heating. If you want to be super smooth, put pre-measured ingredients in little prep dishes. This will make everything so, so much smoother. Little things like this can make the difference between sipping your wine while tapping your foot to jazz and getting flour in your hair just as you start screaming!

Let’s Bake!

For the holidays, people love certain seasonal staples. Cooking/baking “in season,” meaning the produce is freshest at this time of year, will absolutely boost the taste of your food, especially if you buy from your local farmer’s market.

Try baking with the following produce, in season during autumn and winter:

  • Citrus fruits (clementines, oranges, lemons, limes, tangerines)
  • Kiwis
  • Pears
  • Apples
  • Persimmons
  • Dates
  • Chestnuts
  • Squashes (acorn, spaghetti, butternut)
  • Cranberries
  • Jujube
  • Pumpkins
  • Pomegranate

 

Recipes to Try

I have not tried all of these recipes but don’t let that stop you! Find something that looks doable and delicious and you’ll be achieving baking bliss in no time!

  • A delicious, unique collection of recipes can be found at mom.me
  • Two recipes with pomegranate seeds: Chocolate Pomegranate Clusters and Orange Pomegranate Bread
  • 15 fantastic pear recipes from one of my go-to recipe sites, Real Simple
  • Chestnuts can be intimidating, but also delicious and unique! Plus, Trader Joes sells them all ready to go! Try Chocolate Chestnut Torte or Chestnut Cupcakes (for piping frosting on all pretty, spoon it into a Ziplock baggie and cut off one of the corners for an instant piping bag!)
  • Persimmons make fantastic bread and cookies, but be careful! Fuju persimmons are squat and flat at the bottom and can be eaten like a stone fruit, when orange and slightly softened. Hachiya persimmons, however, will leave a dry, cotton-y taste in your mouth and taste super tart if not ripened to mushy softness. The latter are the most commonly used for baking and taste fantastic when allowed to fully develop. Try them in cookies and bread.
  • Check out this tasty compilation of sweet squash based desserts!
  • Cranberries pair beautifully with sweet flavors. Try Pear Cranberry Crisp or Cornmeal Biscotti with Cranberries and White Chocolate
  • If you are feeling exotic and adventurous, try a dessert with the Chinese winter fruit jujubes, like the Jujube Tart with Walnut Cream. The jujube has the consistency and taste of an apple and looks wrinkled like a date. A larger farmers market should have them.

 

Contingency Plans

Help! Help! My dish failed and I have 30 minutes until my event! Okay, okay! Try this!

 

You are now ready to prepare and consume a delicious holiday treat that will impress and satisfy your friends and neighbors and banish your enemies into a vortex of shame at their inferiority. Go forth and bake!

Photo by Andy Sutterfield

Photo by Andy Sutterfield