All posts by Liz Kerin

Health

Scientific Proof That Daydreaming Is Awesome For Your Health

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Okay, fine. You got me. I am not, in fact, in an academic position to offer actual “scientific proof” about anything. But, as a person who has spent a lifetime working on a formula for a gentler daily grind, I defend my right to call myself an authority on this particular topic.

Daydreaming is great. And it’s great for you. It isn’t useless or silly. It isn’t only something 13-year-old girls do when they have a huge crush on someone they would never dare exchange a word with. I don’t know about you, but I am fairly certain that there is a WAR ON DAYDREAMING. As you venture further into the world of adult-people, do you feel pressured to engage with yourself in a super sensible way instead of letting your imagination run wild? I mean, it’s obviously important to grasp the reality of whatever situation you’re in. But I’ve found that allowing yourself a little time in Brain-Narnia, no matter what age you are, can be incredibly healthy.

Daydreaming gives you perspective. It allows you to view your obstacles in a different way… to apply them to places you’ve never been to before and people who aren’t you. It doesn’t matter if you don’t consider yourself a “creative person” and you don’t think you’ll “use” the lessons your inner monologue is trying to teach you. That little movie theater that lives inside your head is a powerful weapon against the crappy, unexpected blows of the real world.

Case in point: Enduring a particularly wrath-inducing breakup? Wishing you could assert yourself in front of that co-worker who seriously will not stop treating you like you haven’t even hit puberty yet no matter how many SAT words you use in daily conversation? I suggest to you the following: Get the soundtrack to Kill Bill bumping (either volume is superb, though I gravitate towards Vol. 1 for this exercise), go run, bike, or just walk with mad purpose for a few miles, and imagine the source of all your fury meeting the pointy end of your katana. You feel better, right? YES, YOU DO. You identify with this character, this person who obviously isn’t you but might have some feelings mirroring your own, and you’re able to explore how you really feel. Did the daydreaming directly solve the issue at hand? Not so much. But the important thing is that you gave yourself a safe place to work out your “ish”, as they say. It keeps you from wanting to chase after your skeezy ex with a real katana.

And if you do happen to be the type who uses their daydreams as creative fuel, there’s an added bonus. Your inner platform 9 ¾ is a stage upon which you can watch your wildest concepts come to life, and there is nobody but you (!) in the audience. You can observe characters, places, and images from a safe distance as you attempt to flesh them out and discover more about them. As a kid, I personally used to adore jumping on the trampoline in my parents’ backyard with my boombox blaring, thinking of what I was going to turn in for creative writing class that week. I’d spend hours out there. The neighbors probably asked my parents if I was “okay” (possible perceived evidence of the War on Daydreaming!). Nowadays, I’m more of a long-walks-on-the-beach kinda gal. But it’s the same idea. It’s my artsy fartsy zen time.

However, there’s one caveat to that particular practice, something I’ve had to work to wrap my head around over the years: Just because an image intrigues you when its dancing around in your own brain, it will not necessarily be intriguing, or even good, when it materializes on paper, onscreen, or on a canvas. Some things you dream up will work as you intended. But it can be hard to tell which product of your dreamscape is the golden egg and which is the dud, because both excited you. This is when real-world-brain has to take the reins and learn to let go of the things that didn’t work, things you thought would be eye-opening and thrilling but in the end just wound up looking cheesy as hell. There’s a time and a place for creative daydreaming. Lose yourself in it. Go nuts. But accept the fact that maybe only 25% of the things you conjured up while you were walking the coastline listening to the Lord of the Rings soundtrack will actually make it into your final product. Accepting that takes time and maturity. And that’s why you need real-world-brain in addition to Narnia-brain. They work together and they each serve a unique purpose.

So, next time somebody tells you to get your head out of the clouds, take it with a grain of salt. You need to stick your head in said clouds from time to time to get some fresh air. It doesn’t mean you’re delusional. It doesn’t mean you can’t confront yourself. It means you’ve given yourself license to not always be so self-deprecating. It’s like taking a mental health day in short little bursts. As long as it’s not hurting anyone and your life/work/relationships aren’t suffering because of it, have a ball. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t have a rich inner life. It’s a coping skill. It’s a creative breeding ground. So get out there, go find some clouds, and promptly stick your head in them. I’ll wait here.

Originally published by Thought Catalog at www.thoughtcatalog.com.

Relationships

Clear History: Porn and the Long Term Relationship

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“All I’m saying is… if we like, move in together or get engaged or something, I don’t want to find out he’s watching porn ever again,” a dear friend confessed to me in a scandalized whisper over a bottle of wine one night.

I was floored when I heard her say this. This was a girl who was comfortable with her sexuality and was always up for dishing about her most recent inappropriate nocturnal activities. I snorted into my glass of Merlot and said, “Yeah, okay. And what’s he gonna do if he ever catches you watching porn?”

“I don’t watch porn,” she said.

“Lies.”

“I don’t need to,” she argued. “Why would I? My relationship isn’t missing anything. Sex is great how it is.”

She then elaborated on how degrading pornography is towards women and that she didn’t understand why her boyfriend, a self-professed male feminist who was down to take his wife’s name when he got married, could allow himself to watch it.

And thus began a long day’s girl talk into night as she and I hashed out the place of pornography in today’s long term relationships. It was a doozy.

My side of the argument sounded a little something like this:

It’s important for both parties in a long-term partnership to be able to express their feelings about porn, because guess what: it’s here to stay. We can’t get rid of it as long as the Internet is also here to stay (and I’m pretty sure that’s a given). Gone are the days when a guy would sneak away at 3 pm on a Sunday, pop the collar of his shady looking trench coat, and duck into a dirty movie. As adults engaging in sexual relationships in the 21st century, it would be naïve as all hell for us to pretend that porn doesn’t have a seat at the table (er… in the bed?). It’s too accessible. You cannot pretend that your significant other isn’t ever going to watch it again if he or she is already in the habit of doing so. If my friend came down hard on her boyfriend for watching porn, he would probably just start sneaking it, and then it would turn into this weird, dirty secret he had. Why have weird, dirty secrets if you don’t need to have them? Unless you like having them—but, that’s neither here nor there.

My friend and I then chewed over this idea that, if someone watches porn, is he or she fantasizing about something that is missing in his or her relationship? This was the reason she said she didn’t “need” to watch porn, and one of the reasons she was offended when she found out her boyfriend occasionally did. I guess the thought process goes like this: if your significant other is seeking out a very specific type of fetish every time he or she pulls up the YouPorn home page, you might conclude that he or she wants you to incorporate said very specific fetish into your sexytime routine. But the truth is that he or she likes it because it’s not real life; it’s a fantasy, an indulgence. It would lose its allure if it were part of reality.

“Listen, you don’t watch him play Grand Theft Auto and think he’s going to run around the city jacking cars and running over innocent bystanders, right?” I asked her.

She agreed that the analogy made a lot of sense. Even if her guy was peeping on some kind of freaky stuff, it did not necessarily mean that she was expected to imitate it IRL. After all, porn doesn’t show you what it’s like to have sex with someone you’re emotionally invested in. It’s not a roadmap by any means! It’s important that both people in the relationship know that.

My friend then conceded that maybe porn did have its benefits because it can help people deal with the boundaries of a monogamous relationship, especially if a monogamous relationship is what you ultimately aspire to. Sometimes we have to resist the urge to behave like animals. I wholeheartedly agreed: everyone, male or female, gay or straight, has had to avoid forbidden fruit at one point or another. Porn allows people to keep their shit together in real life; the temptation for forbidden fruit is super rare if said forbidden fruit isn’t looked upon as a super rare thing.

At that point, we circled back around to this idea that pornography is, traditionally, just plain offensive to women. If a teenage boy is caught looking at porn, a lot of parents might write it off as “totally normal for his age.” But if a young lady were caught in the same predicament… well, it goes without saying: we’re kind of not supposed to like porn. Because, as she argued, porn, in the “classical” sense, degrades females. There’s really no getting around that.

However, thanks to the Internet, more varied types of erotica have become accessible these days. It’s no longer 100% for-dudes-by-dudes, I argued back. I encouraged her to give it a whirl sometime and see if there was anything out there that she might like.

We hit the bottom of the bottle about an hour later and found our conversation in a very different place than where it had started. But my friend seemed much happier and far more relaxed now that she’d aired out her concerns. We agreed that monogamous couples don’t have to turn a blind eye to porn in our relationships and marriages if we don’t want to. And it might be healthier not to do so, especially considering it is everywhere!

And as for her boyfriend’s status as a self-professed feminist—his rep can remain intact.  We settled on this: it’s okay for a guy who upholds those ideals to find something sexy even if it goes against the feminist grain. If a person is a champion for non-traditional gender roles at home and in the workplace, the fact that they like guy-on-top sex shouldn’t discredit said championing. Sometimes, the body just wants what it wants—which is also probably what hurts the most for someone like my friend. Why does the body want that? I don’t know. Ask the cavemen, I guess. We also discussed the fact that it seems like a huge percentage of women secretly prefer guy-on-top-type sex as well—women who want their guy to “be in control” in the bedroom. But a great deal of ladies are hesitant to really own up to it because they don’t want to sound like a scab to the feminist agenda. Feminism and pornography have been waging a very complex cold war for years, so I didn’t want my buddy to think of it in such black-or-white terms. If she loved this guy (and of course, she did), she would have to find a way to navigate this question with an understanding, open mind.

If you’re invested in someone and you really care about them, hold their sexuality to the same standard that you hold your own. Don’t put them down if they enjoy certain things. Respect the chemistry, as Walter White would say. Porn doesn’t have to draw a dividing line between two people in a relationship. If you approach the subject in a respectful manner, it might even strengthen your relationship in ways you never expected.

I’m happy to report that my bud is now engaged to this awesome fellow. I’ll take a smidgen of credit where credit is due for this one (though that bottle of wine probably deserves an honorable mention, too).

Have your own opinion? Share it in the comments!

Photo by Sara Slattery

Sex

The First Time I Ever Had to Buy Condoms

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Let me tell you people, it was terrifying. I was seventeen years old, in high school, giving myself the pep talk of a lifetime as I sat in the parking lot of the CVS in the next town over. (Obviously, I wouldn’t dare make this purchase in my hometown, where a humiliating encounter with an über-gossipy friend-of-the-family was way too risky.) I had driven an extra twenty minutes out of my way just for this purpose. Just to buy condoms. For the first time ever. Holy good god.

I so wish the purchase of protection wasn’t such a humiliating process, especially for teenagers. What’s worse: buying condoms, or not using them at all? We shouldn’t have to ask ourselves that question! It has an easy answer. But here in the United States of Slut Shaming, a stroll to the CVS to buy condoms can feel like a long walk to the gallows in an old Western movie. And that’s not even exclusive to teenagers! I still feel that way, every time I have to do it, and I’m (mostly kind of) a grown woman.

That afternoon, I felt as though everybody’s eyes were glued on me as I finally mustered up the courage to get out of the car, walk through the door, and head to the “Family Planning” aisle. I told myself that if I wanted to do the deed, then this came with the territory. But when I got to the section where the condoms were stocked, a horrible surprise met my eyes: THEY WERE LOCKED IN A GODDAMN CASE. I would have to ask somebody to open it up for me! Apparently, a lot of pharmacies do this. Several years after this particular ordeal, I casually asked a pharmacist why the condoms were sometimes locked up. She explained that it was because they often had a problem with teenagers stealing them. Well, obviously they’re stealing the condoms! Our culture has made it humiliating to purchase them! It’s a vicious, awful, slut-shaming cycle.

So there I was, deer-in-headlights in the family planning aisle. I knew I had to get out of there fast before somebody tried to make eye contact with me. I’d have to formulate a plan. I also realized, at that moment, that I would need to purchase additional items. God forbid I give the cashier the impression that I’d come to CVS just for this very special, sexy occasion.

I stormed through the store, filling my basket with sunblock, deodorant, a diet coke, and a pair of socks. I needed none of these items. I only needed one item: the one I had yet to put in my basket. But I felt spending the extra cash would be worth it for the sake of my fragile, fragile pride. I feel it’s important to mention that I still do this, every single time I need to buy me some rubbers. It’s always hidden among several unnecessary items in my basket, lest I be judged.

Finally, it was time to re-approach that evil, monstrous locked case. I walked by it, eyes narrowed—Fine, bitch. Let’s dance. But my courage pretty much drained out of my every pore the second I timidly approached the pharmacy counter. My conversation with the (thankfully, female) pharmacist went a little something like this:

Me: “Hey. So. There’s this… locked case. Over there.”

Her: Silence

Me: “I was wondering if you had a key for it.”

Her: “Locked case of what?”

Me: (really, woman?!) “Uh… condoms.”

Her: “Okay. I don’t have the key. Jose does. Hang on.”

Me: (completely re-thinking all of this now) “No, no, it’s okay, wait—”

Her: (picks up the goddamn intercom) “Jose! Can you bring the keys to family planning, please?”

Beet-red, I grumbled something that was probably meant to sound like “thank you” and awkwardly shuffled back towards the locked case. No turning back now. We’d come this far. Jose was on his way, after all.

Well, Jose took his sweet-ass time getting there, or at least it felt that way. Every minute was agonizing. Finally, he showed up with a key. He purposefully avoided eye contact with me, lest he be judged for judging me. Oh, what a tangled web! But I took some comfort in the idea that he was probably just as embarrassed as I was.

So, now the case was open—oh, boy. I waited a moment for Jose to walk away and let me do my thing, but he was still standing there, waiting to lock the case again when I was done. But I’d never bought these things before: I had no idea what I wanted! And all Jose wanted—and all I wanted—is for this to be over! NOW!

And so, I took the most logical action I could take: I swiped like… five different boxes. Without even looking at them. Just casually tossed them in. Ribbed, Her Pleasure, Ultra Thin… who the hell even knows. I would try ‘em all! I’d try ‘em all and never have to come back here again.

Squirming like a fish on a hook, I bolted towards the checkout line. I probably didn’t even thank poor, awkward Jose. My purchases totaled up to something like $75, which was way more cash than I had in my wallet. I had to charge it to my parents’ credit card, the one I was only supposed to use for gas and emergencies. But obviously this was a justifiable emergency, as long as they never saw the receipt, which I would conveniently lose as soon as possible.

My boyfriend at the time had a pretty good laugh once he saw the haul I was stashing, and I realized pretty quickly that I hated all of the textures. Every single one of them. I also realized that I was slightly allergic to latex. But that’s how you figure out what you can and can’t use: buy a bunch of different varieties. Despite the enormous price tag of the ordeal, I’m glad I tried several different brands. If you’re new to this, that’s the only way you will figure out what you enjoy. Every person’s body is different! And if you are indeed allergic to latex, a latex-free option does exist.

So if you’re about to embark on this journey for the first time, heed my warnings, but please go purchase your condoms regardless! Be prepared for a locked case. Purchase additional items if it puts you at ease (just don’t max out your credit card in the process). Bringing a friend might make you feel a lot more comfortable. I wish that I had! Or better yet, make your partner buy them! Or at least make him/her do it next time. After all, it takes two to tango. Or… y’know what? HAVE SEX. Enough with the euphemisms: they only contribute to the awkward slut-shaming of it all. If you’re about to go buy condoms for the first time, then you’re ready to confront not only your own sexuality, but also that wicked locked case in the family planning aisle. Be brave and go forth! It’ll be so worth it in the end!

Photo by Meaghan Morrison

Relationships

How and Where to Find Your New BFF (of the Canine Variety)

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When my spritely Papillon, Sydney, came into my life, I was a 19-year-old college sophomore to whom nobody should have entrusted a puppy. Ever. And yet, there she was. She was mine. The breeder very happily sent her home with me (with a hefty $600 price tag on her impossibly tiny head).

“DO NOT WANT, GET ME OUT.” “For the love of God just hold still and let me Instagram this moment.” (That’s just the kind of parent I am)

Sydney and I have been through a lot together: three different New York apartments, college (and everything that came with it), a semester abroad for me / a semester at my mom’s house for her, a college graduation, a cross-country move, and the subsequent three different LA apartments that accompanied said move. For a 19-year-old who probably should not have owned a puppy and a puppy who had no choice but to be owned by a 19-year-old, I’d say we did a pretty decent job!

Seven years later, this past June, my boyfriend and I welcomed a second dog into our home: an off-the-charts-bonkers Siberian Husky mix named Avery whom we rescued from a local shelter. Even though she came to us saddled with phobias we couldn’t even begin to translate into humanspeak (fear of mirrors, fear of stairs, fear of every single sound effect in Grand Theft Auto), working with her has been one of the most rewarding experiences we’ve ever had. Seriously, I think every single dog on the Pacific coast heard me squeal with glee when she finally sat on command.

The great pet-ownership debate generally revolves around the morally weighty “Breeder Puppy vs. Rescue” question. That’s what most people ask me about right off the bat: “I’m thinking of getting a dog. Did you get yours from a breeder or a shelter? What would you recommend?” Well, now that I have owned both a breeder puppy and a rescue pooch, I have to say that I don’t think there’s a clear “right” answer here. There are advantages to both! But if you’re unsure of which route to take, here are a few pros and cons I’ve gathered over the years about each adoption option:

Pros – Adoption

  • Obviously, #1: You are saving a life! Name a feeling that is better than that feeling. See? You can’t.
  • There’s a chance your new BFF might come home with some basic training knowledge, depending upon his history. We really struck gold in this department: Avery came to us completely potty trained.
  • It’s incredibly cost-efficient. It was $90 out the door for Avery, which included shots and her spaying fee. When we took her to the vet for her first checkup, the office visit was free of charge because she was a rescue! All we paid for was one additional booster shot and heartworm prevention meds. I jokingly/lovingly refer to Avery as our “discount Husky.” This is why.

Cons – Adoption

  • There is really only one major downside to adoption, which is the mirror image of the one major upside to breeder acquisition: because you don’t know this dog’s history, you don’t know everything about his personality. Now, if you get a puppy from a shelter, you’re in better shape than if you, say, adopted a 3-year-old dog. But more likely than not, you won’t know what sets this dog off. You don’t know what her nervous ticks are. Those things won’t reveal themselves during that first euphoric visit at the shelter as you loudly proclaim, “YES, THIS IS DEFINITELY MY DOG!” By the time her bad habits rear their ugly head, you will likely have bonded with your new buddy too much for any of them to be deal breakers. But even after you enroll the dog in obedience classes, you must display the patience of a thousand Buddhas. An adult dog whose origins are a mystery to you, and who already has ingrained habits, will take longer to train than a brand new puppy. That’s just science! So be prepared to wait a while for that first, magical, “Sit! GOOD GIRL!”

Pros – Breeder Puppies

  • So, here is the one significant pro about purebreds: you (mostly) know what you’re getting with this puppy. You’ve met its parents, or have at least seen lots of pictures of them winning blue ribbons at dog shows. You’ve researched the breed. This dog is a highly impressionable eight weeks old when he comes home to you; he’s a perfectly blank slate! Yes, you have to train the puppy. ASAP. But puppies are people-pleasers and generally learn pretty quickly if you work with them consistently. In my personal experience, I think getting a puppy from a breeder is a wise choice if you either a) have a family or b) are considering starting a family sometime in the near future. Dogs with kids are unpredictable. Kids like to scream and pull tails and put tutus and tiaras on dogs (or so I’ve heard). At least with this blank slate of a puppy, you have a chance of getting it to behave appropriately around your children with early obedience training. So, if family is a major factor in your decision-making process, that might outweigh some of the cons I’m about to rattle off about purebred puppies.

Cons – Breeder Puppies

  • They’re disturbingly expensive, and I’m not just talking about the price you pay for the puppy herself (though that can get really pricey too). Purebred puppies typically cost upwards of $500. I’ve even seen some of those crazy designer hybrids going for like 2k! (Bich-Poo, anyone?) Then, remember that the puppy is going to need to another round of shots at the vet (sans that sweet rescue discount!), and will eventually have to be spayed or neutered. You could be looking at $1,500 minimum just to get your puppy physically up to speed! Woof.
  • And then, there’s training the little bugger. Even if the breeder worked with the puppies every day, chances are he won’t know to go potty outside all the time when you bring him home. This takes insane amounts of dedication. I am not proud to say that it took me several years (yes, count ‘em, years) to get Sydney fully potty trained. Why? Maybe because I was a college student with a wackadoo schedule that the dog couldn’t even begin to predict. Nothing was consistent, and dogs need consistency if they’re going to fully commit to housebreaking. Otherwise, one can just imagine the internal struggle: “Hmm, she’s not home. She should probably be home. Is it a good idea to pee on the floor now? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Okay, I’m peeing now.”
  • Another thing I learned the hard way: Purebred dogs have some really bizarre health issues that can unexpectedly crop up due to centuries of inbreeding and things like that (creeptacular, no?). Even if the breeder is highly reputable, these things can absolutely still happen. When Sydney was five, she suddenly started going blind and nobody could figure out what was happening. It turned out that she had a very severe case of glaucoma, and after spending exorbitant amounts of money at a veterinary opthamologist, we concluded that the illness was probably caused by nothing but genetics. There was nothing we could have done. * Therefore, because of things like this, I highly recommend getting pet insurance for your purebred puppy! I had it at one point, thought it was too expensive, and cancelled it. Now, I wish I’d held onto it, knowing what I know now about Sydney’s health. I signed up for a new plan last year that will hopefully cover any crazy unforeseen future issues!

*Sydney is in fact totally blind now, but she can hardly tell the difference! Dogs can teach us a whole heck of a lot about adaptability. Dogs pull it together and get on with life. It’s pretty admirable! I’m super proud of her, to say the least.

Addendum: Breeder pups

Not all brand-spanking new puppies are purebreds. There is indeed such a thing as a backyard breeder: for example, a neighbor whose beagle ran away and got pregnant and now has six puppies to give away. You might find out about these puppies on Craigslist, at a local vet’s office, or just through word of mouth. Backyard breeders are generally discouraged, though, because the American Kennel Club looks down on the practice (I mean, it’s usually people who didn’t get their dogs spayed and let them just go get preggo, so obviously that’s a big issue). However, those puppies are the same ones who might wind up in a shelter if people don’t take them home right away. So if you hear of someone locally who has a few puppies to spare, it might not be the worst idea to check them out. That way, you get that impressionable 8-week-old puppy you’ve been searching for, you save a lot of money, and you rescue a pooch that might eventually land in a shelter. These “breeders” are under the radar though, so it might take you longer to find this kind of situation. I personally have never found a puppy this way, but I know it’s an avenue that exists!

Do not let the perfect pose deceive you. You’ve seen America’s Next Top Model. You know how many takes wind up in the trash. Avery, you wanna be on top?

So, here’s the thing: if you don’t have a family situation that warrants a more predictable dog, I would strongly recommend heading over to PetFinder.com and finding the peanut butter to your jelly at a local shelter. I think if I had it to do over again, I probably would have gotten both my dogs at shelters. But then again, Sydney was and still is the perfect dog for me. I wouldn’t change a thing about her! So perhaps the moral to the story is this: in the end, the perfect dog for you is the one that best suits you and your lifestyle. As long as you’ve thought long and hard about your needs and don’t jump the gun, the right puppy is out there for you!

Here are a few helpful, awesome links that have assisted me throughout my pet-parenthood:

  • http://PetFinder.com  — This is how we found Avery! It lets you sort through shelter pets in your area by size, breed, age, etc, so you get exactly what you’re looking for!
  • http://www.akc.org/ — For purebred puppy searches and breed information. Any reputable breeder will be registered with the American Kennel Club. So if you’re looking for, say, American Eskimo Dog breeders in the Chicago area, you can find them on this site!
  • http://www.andreaarden.com/ — Andrea is a New York-based dog trainer with whom I briefly worked back East. She’s very well known and highly knowledgeable! Even if you’re not in the NY area, her blog is full of great pointers for all kinds of behavior problems.
  • http://www.karmadogtraininglosangeles.com/ — A really fantastic LA-based group of dog trainers who are currently working with our discount husky. If you’re in Southern California, you might want to check these guys out! They have great rates for both group sessions and private sessions, and also do board-and-train if you want to go on vacation and come home to a well-behaved dog!
  • http://www.petinsurance.com/ — VPI Pet Insurance is the plan most vets recommend and has some really reasonable rates, even if you only want it for emergency situations. You won’t use it all the time, but you’ll be glad you have it the day your puppy eats a pair of underwear and you receive that inevitable mind-boggling vet bill! **

**Yes, puppies eat underwear. All the time. Or they try to. Dirty laundry = heaven on Earth. At the very least, they will humiliate you when you have friends over by trotting out of the bedroom with a pair of racy unmentionables pulled fresh from the hamper. This is a true story.

Happy puppy-hunting, boys and girls!

Food

The Five Day Summer Cocktail Challenge

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This whole experiment had but one simple catalyst: for the first time ever, I have a pool. It is summertime and I have a pool!

This has never happened before, and as a result there have been a lot of impromptu instances of, “Hey come over, and let’s sit by the pool and drink!” But there are only so many bottles of “Pinot Greeg” one can chill at a moment’s notice, so I decided that, for five days, I would create a new summer cocktail each evening using only the ingredients I currently had in my fridge and liquor cabinet.

Five summer cocktails

Here is a rough list of the items I had to work with:

  • Lemonade
  • Orange juice
  • Frozen raspberries and strawberries
  • Black Cherries
  • Lime Sparkling Water
  • Cranberry-Raspberry juice
  • Rum
  • Tequila
  • Whisky
  • 1/4 a bottle of margarita mix
  • White Wine
  • Rosé Wine
  • Fresh basil
  • Cucumbers
  • Honey

And here are the results!

Sidenote: I tend to like my drinks on the stronger side. If you are of the lighter persuasion, you may want to cut the alcohol ratios in half or double the juice ratio. Whatever you fancy!

DAY ONE

Named after my dear friends who once made me a very similar cocktail on a sweltering New York day in August, I call this sweet thang The Brosman-Keach.

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Day One: Ingredients

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Day One: Drink

INGREDIENTS:

  • lemonade
  • whisky
  • frozen raspberries (keep them frozen, like juicy little ice cubes!)

Add ingredients in no particular order. I don’t typically do exact measurements, but this is pretty much 1 part whisky per every 2 parts lemonade. Mix to taste, however, if you like yours stronger. Serve in a glass on the rocks.

Simple, tangy, and super refreshing. The best part is the syrupy, boozy raspberry juice at the bottom once you finish it!

DAY TWO

My basil plant had basically begun to commit seppuku in this 100+ degree heat, so I thought it best to utilize it in a drink before it passed on to herb heaven. (Confession: even sans global warning, I still kill all my houseplants.)  The result? Frozen Boozy Basil Lemonade.

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Day Two: Ingredients

4

Day Two: Drink

INGREDIENTS:

  • lemonade
  • tequila
  • 4-5 basil leaves
  • ice
  • 1 slice of cucumber for garnish

Blend 2 parts lemonade for every 1 part tequila with the basil leaves and the ice and serve frozen, garnished with the cucumber.

Much like a mojito, a little kick from a fresh herb goes a long way! The only stumbling block I encountered here was that the drink and the crushed ice did not want to be friends. They just kept separating, as indicated in the photo above. This can be alleviated, however, by just drinking it right away!

DAY THREE

I thought I’d make my poolside go-to work overtime and give me a little sangria action. The result? Triple Berry Threat White Sangria, baby.

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Day Three: Ingredients

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Day Three: Drink

INGREDIENTS:

  • frozen raspberries and strawberries (again, keep ‘em frozen so they melt in the drink!)
  • fresh black cherries (pitted and cut in half)
  • 2 parts chilled white wine (I used pinot grigio here)
  • 1 part rum
  • a splash of OJ
  • a splash of lime sparkling water.

Pour liquids over berries.

Addendum: As I was drinking this one, I realized it could do with a little simple syrup, as it’s quite sour! Since I didn’t have any simple syrup (i.e. I was too lazy to make it myself in that moment), I decided to get a little sassy and improvised with a drizzle of honey on top. You may want to do the same if it’s too tangy for you!

DAY FOUR

I’m convinced that I got progressively better (and drunker) at this game with each passing day, so I am telling you right now that these last two drinks are definitely my MVPs. This bad boy here was borne of a need for twice as much margarita mix as I currently had in my liquor cabinet. Necessity, the mother of invention, would like to introduce you to… The Cran-Razarita!

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Day Four: Ingredients

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Day Four: Drink

INGREDIENTS:

  • 1 part Tequila per every 2 parts cran-raspberry juice
  • a splash of margarita mix
  • frozen raspberries (yes, as before, keep them frozen!)
  • ice

Blend the above, serve frozen, and rim with salt (if that’s your jam). Or, however you usually like your margaritas!

I’ll bet they didn’t think of this on that episode of Mad Men where they’re trying all the different Ocean Spray flavors!

DAY FIVE

I really don’t like rosé wine. Every time I buy it, I think I’m just craving a change in my world that manifests itself in a weird wine choice instead of a healthy life choice.

Point being, I did that. I bought rosé wine recently. But as luck would have it, I finally figured out what to do with it! It was pretty much destiny in the form of … Hard Cherry Lemonade!

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Day Five: Ingredients

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Day Five: Drink

INGREDIENTS:

  • 2 parts Rosé or white zinfandel wine
  • 1 part rum
  • 1 part lemonade
  • a handful of black cherries (cut in half and pitted)

Some of you Los Angeles–dwelling vino aficionados might recognize the Malibu Wines shoutout on the glass here: apropos for the girliest drink on the menu. And yes, although this is the girliest drink, it is also probably the strongest! Drink slowly! Or don’t. :)

Style

Unmentionables Unearthed: Buying Bras

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The humor and irony of writing this article on the purchasing practices of bras is not lost on me: this June marks exactly fifteen years since that fateful summer day when my doting, dutiful grandma bought me three training bras of differing colors and sizes and placed them on my bed… which I, in turn, threw on the kitchen floor in a hateful rage. I slammed my bedroom door and sent myself to bed without dinner. I was fighting a losing battle against Father Time and puberty. I was not going to wear those nasty body girdles. I was going to play outside on the trampoline in my overalls in all my asexual glory. Every day. Forever.

Photo by Sara Slattery

Well, that didn’t work out so well. That nasty body girdle did indeed become a part of my future. During my freshman year of college, I held down a job at Gap Body (you know, that area of the Gap where the music suddenly changes over to the spa-day playlist and there are never any boys ever). Every day, I measured at least three or four different ladies for their bra size. Would it shock you to know that most women are walking around wearing the wrong bra size? These weren’t 13-year-old girls, clueless about what the eff was going on under their overalls (do 13-year-olds still wear overalls? Was that just me? Whatever, irrelevant). These were grown ladies who ought to have known that they were wearing the wrong size! One day, I did a measurement on myself, only to find that I, too, was in the totally-wrong-size club! I remedied that right away with my sweet employee discount.

You can find these tutorials all over the interwebs, but here are a few basic tips that I learned that year for figuring out which bra is perfect for you (all DIY!) from sizing to style and everything in between:

  • First of all, find out what your size really is! Get a flexible measuring tape and wrap it around the area that’s just above your ribcage and just below your girls. If, for example, you measure in at 31”, your band size is typically 2-3 digits up from that number (so, a 34). Traditionally, you’re supposed to round up. Everyone should get measured! Wearing the right size feels great. Your clothes suddenly fit better, and you might discover a more defined waistline that wasn’t there before!
  • If you’ve got some mad spillage occurring over the edges or if the center isn’t lying flat against your sternum, your cup size is too small. If you notice the fabric / padding is lumpy and folding in on itself, it’s too big. If it feels nice and smooth when you put it on and you can’t really see the lines under your shirt, then well done! That’s the right cup size.
  • However, my next point is about to debunk everything I just said! Not all bras are created equal! I know, right? But, just like pants in a size 2 at one store fit like another store’s size 4, sometimes bras don’t all fit the same. Every bra fits each body a little bit differently, depending upon how much padding the thing has, how broad your shoulders are, how tall you are… everything! My advice is to try everything on, no matter what. Whenever ladies would come into the store and ask for something in their size, I’d always recommend that they try it on before walking out the door with it. Treat your bra size like a really solid ballpark figure. If the bra isn’t comfortable when you put it on, then try a slightly different size (see the next bullet point about “sister sizes”). I know this isn’t what Victoria’s Secret and the like would want me to say about this, but I think every lady can attest to this: sometimes, an article of clothing is just…well… made differently.  TRY. IT. ON.
  • So, like, another bonkers thing: bras are designed so that a 34C, for example, should fit you the same as a 36B. People call these “sister sizes”. The cup size is actually relative to the ribcage measurement. Technically, you ought to stick to your correct band size, but you can get away with it if you absolutely have to have that particular bra and they don’t have it in your size. It should probably fit fine, but as I said before, try that puppy on!
  • Now, something I had to recommend to the ladies over at good ol’ Gap Body was to put their shirts back on over the bras once they tried them on. For whatever reason, not everybody does this in the fitting room! But unless you’re making this purchase for one specific, frisky evening and you don’t ever plan to wear it under your clothing, you should seriously make sure you know what it looks like under your shirt. A lot of people don’t put their shirt back on! Why, I do not know! It’s worth noting that I was recently at a Victoria’s Secret location that had a t-shirt in each fitting room to encourage this practice! It was such a nice idea that I just had to give them a shoutout here.
  • Now, some practical advice as it relates to style: I don’t know about y’all, but not every day is lacy push-up sexytime day. I need a wide variety of comfort levels in my unmentionables drawer. American Apparel makes my absolute favorite everyday comfort bra (which is awesome for both casual wear and for working out). These come in a wide variety of styles and colors. I adore them, but I’ll admit they don’t provide a ton of support if you’re more endowed than I am! But the point is this: pick your favorite comfort poison, and buy a bunch in that same style. You’ll want an arsenal for everyday wear. Then, crank it up just a hair and buy a few that are flirty and fun, but aren’t necessarily bras you’d go jogging in. These should still be comfy and look great under your typical work clothes. There’s nothing weirder than wearing a super sexy bra under a top you’ve had on all day (perhaps in preparation for a big date or you just haven’t done laundry in a while) and it’s obvious that it’s just too much. So, continue to keep it simple in shape and scope. Lastly, get yourself one or two really high octane get-ups. (These, my friend, do not necessarily have to look appropriate under the shirt!)

So, what’d we learn? Measure thyself. Be wary of slight differences between designers. Don’t be afraid to be down with sister sizes. Put the shirt back on. And buy what makes you look and feel not only sexy, but comfy too! After all, we can’t wear overalls forever. Not that we should aspire to.

Relationships

Expectations vs. Reality: Living in Sin

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“Ooooh, I guess things are gettin’ pretty serious, huh?”

If you are preparing to move in with your sig-o, get ready to hear that every day of your life for the foreseeable future.

But what the heck does that even mean… “Things are gettin’ pretty serious”? In the year 2013, what qualifies as a “serious enough relaysh” that you’d consider moving in together? Only you and your guy/gal can accurately answer that question. It’s different for everybody, so this won’t be a discussion about how to know if it’s the right move. But whether you’re gearing yourself up to put a ring on it or cruising along at a gentler pace, one thing remains constant: living together changes (almost) everything. You might not expect it to, especially if you’ve practically been living together the entire time you’ve been dating. But, as one half of a couple that just took a jaunty stroll down this road, here are a few realities of the situation that might differ a smidge from your expectations.

The actual physical moving of apartments was rather eye-opening for me. I think I’ll start with that. Moving day is about as relaxing as that moment when your best friend just became a zombie, and you must decide whether or not to blow his head off because in about five seconds he’s going to eat your face. Moving is a dangerous dance! It’s likely you’ve never seen your sig-o handle stress of this kind before. Our move went a little something like this: we decided to do it ourselves, with friends and a U-Haul. Except, in the end, only one super-dedicated friend actually stuck with us the whole day, the U-Haul rental place was far away and threw off our whole schedule, and we were not as well-packed as we thought we were. A mattress was thrown off a balcony. Things of a somewhat vile variety were uttered. So… my advice for the big day? Fork over the cash, and hire a moving company. Really. U-Haul often tacks on all kinds of extra fees anyway, so in the end it’s not that much cheaper. If you hire movers, you can focus on the excitement of your first awesome apartment together instead of: “Hey, Liz, please don’t hold that chair like you have 6-inch T-Rex arms, the legs are going to—!”“Uhh, do we have a hot glue gun? The legs of this chair all fell off.”

But if you do decide to DIY, take comfort in this: if your relationship comes out of moving day intact, it can probably survive anything!

Something else I wasn’t quite expecting was the fact that just because we liked each other, it would not necessarily mean we liked each other’s stuff. Once we got through the move and started putting things in their proper places, there were several instances of, “Oh… wait, we’re hanging that? On an actual wall in our actual home?” When we lived in our respective apartments with roommates, we always had our own rooms—spaces that were completely our own. But now, for the first time ever, the entire space was shared space. The solution in this case is simple, but it requires patience. Over time, invest in nice, new things that you both like. If you’re not lucky enough to have your tastes perfectly align, I recommend having a joint “cool new shit” fund. It doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg, either. Go to the flea market together and get an antique desk or a funky painting (then do as I do, and go home and watch Flea Market Flip for 3 hours and proclaim, with bloated self-confidence, “We could totally make that table, why aren’t we on this show?!”).

Which obviously leads me to this addendum: Definitely try to make some of this stuff if you’re crafty types! In the end, you might have to make a few concessions. But focus on getting new stuff together, instead of stewing over how much you know he/she loathes your antelope-shaped candelabra (yeah, that’s mine).

Also, speaking of joint purchasing ventures: maybe you were expecting the money questions to kind of answer themselves, or that you’d both be impeccable about splitting all household expenses evenly. But you need to chat about it. My philosophy is 50/50, all the way—on everything from the cable bill to groceries, no matter which person the food “belongs” to (so this means, yes, I spend just as much on his ground beef as he does on my veggie burgers and tofu). But definitely have an honest conversation about your finances before you move. If one of you is a little more solvent than the other, that’s okay. Maybe you agree on 70/30 or 60/40. But whatever you decide, have a mathematical layout and stick to it. It’s easy to get sloppy with that kind of thing, but it’s also the thing most couples wind up fighting about!

Another notable change is the sharing of people. Two-Buck-Chuck-Ladies-Night-In will take on a different form. As will five-hour Xbox/Chipotle-scarfing marathons. Your single-social behavior is going to change, which is weird, right? It’s not like either of you were “single” before this. But now, when you have friends over, even if you have the space for each person to operate independently, you may feel it’s necessary to try to include one another. And that’s great! I love when the important people in my life get to know one another better. My heart is easily warmed by everybody getting on like peanut butter and jelly. But I definitely wasn’t expecting this change in the social atmosphere. Now every friend visitation is pre-examined, case-by-case. If my best girlfriend needs to drink half a bottle of wine and give me a very graphic play-by-play of her latest sexcapade, I will suggest a trip to the bar instead of inviting her over, as was our usual M.O. when I was living alone.

This accomplishes two things: firstly, it stops you from inadvertently making your sig-o feel like they’re intruding just because they’re there. Sloppy secondly, it gets you the hell out of the apartment, which leads me to another unexpected possible side effect of co-habitation. “Co-Hermitation,” I like to call it. It happens to pretty much everybody. It’s totally normal. You’re together, so you’re being social even if you’re staying in. It’s a scientific fact. But if you can break the cycle now and then, have at it!

Now, here’s the thing that I think is the biggest expectation-buster of them all. And, a lot of the time, it could be an expectation that other people have imposed upon you because you made this decision. But here’s the thing: moving in together is an enormous sign of commitment. Yes. But there’s a reason you signed a lease instead of a marriage certificate. Living together might be a step in that direction, but if you ask me (which you sort of did because you continued to read up until this point!), moving in with someone you love should be treated as the ultimate personal experiment. You did it because you wanted to be 30000% sure that this is the right person for you, and there are certain things you’ll only understand about your relationship and the “rightness” of it if you’ve lived with this person. That’s what you needed, so that’s what you decided to do. Not everybody needs this “experiment.” Your parents may not have needed it (as they might endlessly point out to you). But this is the 21st century and, more often than not, this is how we roll as adult people who love each other.

However, let it be known that if this experiment does not meet your expectations, if something changes and this relationship no longer makes you happy, living together does not have to mean that you’re in-it-to-win-it for life. Try to make it work. Try and try again, dammit. Not every day is going to be a rollicking honeymoon. But in the end, if it’s just not meant to be, don’t let anyone guilt you into treating it like a divorce. You moved in with this person so you’d know what they’re really all about. And that’s exactly what you came out of it understanding. I SALUTE YOU if this is you presently or if it ever has been you.

Now, I don’t want to leave anyone feeling sad, because who would I be if I did that? Sheesh. So before I sign off, here are a few more hints, practical or otherwise, that you may or may not find useful in your newfound co-habitative bliss:

  • If you have pets, then guess what: your girlfriend/boyfriend also inherited said pets. You may have said things like, “I promise, the dog is mine, you don’t have to clean up after him or feed him or anything, he’s just gonna exist in the house.” But if you all exist in this household together, man and beast, it’s highly likely that that animal will become a greater shared entity than you expected, for better or worse. So, like… definitely make sure the dog isn’t keen on pooping in his/her shoes.
  • If the fact that she throws wet towels on the bed after a shower makes you rage, for the love of God, just tell her! She probably doesn’t even know she’s doing it, okay? Old habits die hard. It’s a hard knock life, living alone. Nobody tells you not to do this kind of stuff!
  • Same goes for cleaning in general. If you have a different definition of the word “clean,” you should probably come to grips with it and find a harmonious happy medium. People like slobs just about as much as they like that OCD 6 am vacuumer.
  • Two TVs or no TV. I’m so serious. One in the bedroom and one in the living room or none at all! I think everybody appreciates what I mean by this!
  • And one more thing, coming at you from the bed where I currently sit, battling a sore throat that I’m convinced is morphing into flu symptoms minute-by-minute: get familiar with each other’s sick day behavior. People usually treat sick people how they want to be treated when they’re ill, whether that’s with 24/7 doting or with a suck-it-up-hands-off approach. As I sit here contemplating whether or not I want to get up and make some honey-lemon tea, I wonder whether or not he knows that I might want somebody to make it for me. Hmmmm.

Stay tuned for next month’s article on how to maximize your sickness sympathy potential (a beginner’s guide).

Moving in w_your sig other square

Photo by Sara Slattery

Health

Gymming at Home

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Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: You’ve just left work for the day. It’s rounding 8 pm You’re wiped out and starving, because all you ate for lunch today was a yogurt at your desk at 2 pm. You know your DVR is recording Parks and Rec, but you’d do anything to get home ASAP and just watch it. And… you haven’t worked out since the weekend. You’re feeling sluggish and angry with yourself because of that. Whatever shall you do?

Gymming Square

Photo by Elizabeth Kerin

SCENARIO A: You are a member at a gym. You would drive right over there if not for the über-starvation and the fact that you left your gym clothes and sneakers at home. It was a scattered morning! Your alarm didn’t go off! The dog peed on the floor! You didn’t have time for that nonsense. But at this moment, you feel pressured to justify that $500/year membership. I mean, you should at least go sometimes. And hey, maybe they’ll have Parks and Rec playing on one of those little TVs by the treadmills! Maybe. Though at this rate, you probably won’t get there till 10 pm.

SCENARIO B: Last year, you paid $300 for a fabulous little stationary bike that sits in the corner of your living room. One-time charge, no hidden fees. And there he sits: a reliable steed, ready to serve all your exercise-related needs. You get home, you grab a little sustenance, then you strap on your sneakers and hop on the bike. You spin for exactly one half hour as you watch Parks and Rec. And you’re done by 9 pm, ready to do everything else the evening requires of you.

Last year, I opted for Scenario B. If you’re the self-motivating type (or the type who likes to sing “Titanium” at the top of your lungs while you sweat and would prefer not to be judged), you might want to save the yearly gym membership fee and buy a machine of your very own. I’d been toying with the idea of purchasing a Soul Cycle membership, but upon seeing the hefty price tag ($3,500 for a 50 Class Series! What?!), I quickly decided I’d emulate the Soulsperience in my own home.

I turn off all the overhead lights. I get a few candles burning. I bump my carefully crafted Spotify playlist, the one that rhythmically mimics the life cycle of a proper spinning session: intense jams for those high-resistance climbs and zippy, excitable life-is-awesome tracks for the fast sprints. Sometimes I’ll do themed playlists. Yes, I have done a Disney spinning night. And a 90s Alt-Rock night. (Sans the flannel shirt. Not a fun garment for perspiring.)

Point being: All of these choices can be under your control if you do your gymming at home! It’s liberating. You will never arrive at your spinning or yoga class to find that it’s Britney-themed night, when all you wanted to do was chill to some Radiohead and Bjork and sweat away your existential rage.

Here are some fantastic options for at-home exercise machines, all under $500. Some of them require assembly (mine did). But it was no worse than putting together an Ikea dresser. Well worth it!

Another tip: check out Craigslist. Plenty of people are moving and probably want to sell their old exercise equipment! Only drawback is that you might purchase something sans warranty. But if that’s the case, you might be able to haggle on the price.

Happy Home-Gymming!

Career, Style

Hirin’ Attire: Job Interview Wardrobe Tips

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You only get one chance to make a good first impression.

Usually, I can’t say I agree with that old-fashioned adage. But a job interview isn’t an ordinary real-life scenario. It’s the only situation in life, aside from maybe a first date, in which you are placing yourself in front of another person and fully preparing yourself to be judged. And, just like a first date, even if you’re a dazzling conversationalist and your resume (or OkCupid profile) is full of all the perfect catch-phrases—if you don’t look the part, you might not get to second base. By which I mean a second interview.

Because I am a 20-something in the year 2013 and because every publication under the sun tells me this is true, I will go on roughly a hundred thousand job interviews within my lifetime.  I’ve already been around the job interview block, and I probably won’t be stopping any time soon.

Here are a few things I’ve learned about interview wardrobe choices since my days as a newly minted college grad, clutching my BFA for dear life, and praying for health insurance.

Fancy Footwork

Gentlemen, this might not be as intense a topic for you. The height and style of your shoe is rarely an issue, but even if it’s a “totally laid-back workplace” and you’re wearing your loafers or leather low-rise boots with jeans, I absolutely suggest that you polish your shoes! Shoe polish is easily accessible and they even sell these nifty all-in-one polishes at places like CVS or Walgreens. A grown man polishes his shoes—and gets that job!

Ladies, I know that a high heel makes you feel confident and powerful. I know you love the way it click-clacks on the tile floor, as if to say, “Hey everyone! I have arrived!” But I urge you to leave those amazing Loubotin look-alikes you scored on JustFab.com at home. Don’t risk being taller than your interviewer and doom yourself to some really awkward handshakes. Besides, if those shoes could talk, they’d tell you they want to be at a bar, not under a desk.

A few easy solutions are a stylish pair of patent leather or animal print flats, a small kitten heel, or leather or suede ankle boots. If you’re normally a little shy in the face of fashion risks, that’s totally okay, but don’t be afraid of a pop of color or a bold print! There’s no law that says all footwear has to be black nowadays.

SUIT UP! Or don’t?

This will differ depending upon the industry of your dream job and the company’s office environment. Try your very best to research what the dress code is before you go in, though sometimes it’s hard to gauge unless you know someone who works there!

But here’s a tip, for both guys and gals: be absolutely sure you need to wear that suit. If you’re interviewing at a place like a law firm or a major corporation, it’s definitely advisable to suit up, especially for the guys. But I’ve seen many male candidates stroll into casual office environments wearing their best suits, looking super uncomfortable, both physically and mentally. You don’t want to come across as stodgy or old fashioned.

For guys, you can always get away with a nice pair of black slacks and a collared dress shirt. (Tucked in with a belt! For real, this goes without saying!). Bring a blazer that you can throw on at the last second if you’re feeling under-dressed.

Ladies, a black pencil skirt is your best bud. Buy one and love it and pair it with anything and everything. A business-casual blazer also goes a long way in life, so it’s great to have that handy, too. If you don’t feel like wearing a skirt, black skinny pants or flowy black slacks are a great alternative. There’s a lot of debate surrounding black jeans, but I say that if the material is denim to the touch, then thems be jeans and you probably shouldn’t wear them! Skinny pants that are cut like jeans but are made of non-denim material are a much safer bet, especially when paired with a semi-formal top.

Also, an addendum on formal shorts: I adore a good formal short. And once you land this dream job, you might totally be able to get away with wearing them. But maybe leave them at home for your interview. Some people still view shorts as too casual a look, no matter how much pleated realness they’re serving.

Hey You, Yeah You with the FACE.

Ladies, very simple day-time makeup is advisable. Go easy on the eyeliner. You want your potential new boss to focus on the brilliant words tumbling from your lips, not your Amy Winehouse impersonation. Do wash and style your hair, but don’t go overboard with a new style you don’t usually rock (i.e. maybe not those Heidi braids you still can’t do without spraining your wrist).

Guys, if you’re going to style your hair, opt for a small dash of pomade. It’s much more flexible and easier to work with than gel.

And one more tip, take it or leave it: if you’re a glasses wearer, leave your contacts at home! This could be nothing but a silly coincidence, but every time I wore my glasses to an interview, I was offered the job. True story! Maybe I looked more trustworthy? More collegiate and organized? Who knows! But hey, it can’t hurt.

Conversation Pieces

If you’re like me, you dread even the slightest awkward pause and would jump out the window before letting the conversation run dry. Here, you could kill two birds with one stone by incorporating a fashionable accessory that could also potentially lead to this: “Hey, I love your (necklace/tie/bracelet/etc.)! Where’d you get that?”

Guys, this could be anything from a really nice wristwatch to a bold new tie. We’re talking, like, Joe Biden bold. Not the Homer Simpson Christmas tie you got from your mom in eighth grade.

As for the gals, know that a statement piece doesn’t have to break the bank! Stores like H&M, Forever 21, and the sale rack at Anthropologie have some really fun jewelry that will absolutely do the trick. My tip is to choose ONE piece: a vintage locket or a pair of chandelier earrings. But not both at once!

Do you have any additional tips for job interview wardrobe choices? We’d love to hear what you think. Leave them in the comments below!

InterviewWardrobeHero

Photo by Meaghan Morrison

DIY

Halloween Carving Alternatives

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Autumn and winter holiday traditions tend to rely heavily on very specific kinds of vegetation—we’re talking pumpkins, orange fall leaves, Christmas trees, etc. Now, this is a very joyful annual experience if you’re living in a chilly climate, but for someone like me (a New England transplant living in Southern California) it can be pretty dismal. This time of year, I make a valiant effort to rebel against the ecosystem I now call home, pulling my leather riding boots over my sweaty legs in 80 degree weather each day, living in sweet, sweet denial. I live for fall and winter holidays! But I’ll admit that trying to recreate my traditions here has become a difficult, kind of kind of tragic disaster.

Exhibit A: Last year I trekked two hours to a mountainside pumpkin farm to get the perfect giant pumpkin for a carving party. I realize I could’ve gone to Trader Joe’s, but the experience of going to a farm is what counts here. Sadly, what I found was a farm that had been completely pillaged and depleted of its healthy pumpkins. It was 90 degrees in October and there had been a drought. These things happen. It took me a solid hour to find the only decent one in the patch and it still cost me $30.

Exhibit B: Last year I spent $75 on a Christmas tree that was less than half my height. I am 5’0″. I think that speaks for itself.

So, if you live in LA, Miami, Dallas, Santa Fe—heck any tropical and/or desert biome—and don’t want to drop $30 on a pumpkin, or if  hacking them to pieces is somehow traumatizing, then this article is for you. Instead of carving a pumpkin for Halloween this year, why not try something different?

Below, for your holidaying pleasure, is a list of items that are easily accessible in grocery stores nationwide, are super fun to carve for Halloween, and even more fun to eat afterwards. (Because let’s be real: pumpkin seeds are actually pretty gross unless you toast them JUST right! But I digress.)

  • Apples: Hollow them out, use the innards to make an adorable tiny pie (because if you don’t love tiny pies, who are you?), and carve a face!
  • Butternut squash: Same deal. Hollow ‘em out, carve a face, and eat the insides (I recommend roasting them with some butter, agave nectar, and brown sugar).
  • Oranges and Grapefruits: Don’t carve out the insides of these because that would be a very sticky situation! Just perforate the design you want on the peel with a serrated knife, and then pull the peel off. I highly recommend chopping these bad boys up for autumnal sangria or a toasty mulled wine afterwards!

My mission this year is to adapt to my environment and create some fun new traditions. What are some warm-weather-climate Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas traditions that you have? Collecting advice and inspirations in the comments below!

Happy carving (of the pumpkin persuasion or otherwise)!

HalloweenHero

Photo by Elizabeth Kerin